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Been a while since I have updated in here. Seems diet isn't the only thing i get slack on.
LONG WINDED BACK STORY and then some other faffing in there, so bare with me.
So as some may know i had many problems with my sleeve, namely it being kinked and everything coming up. Basically it was similar to having a stuck moment with a band but there was no way to push things down as the usual techniques a bandit would use just let to more vomiting. in about April/May this year I had a solid barium contrast which showed that the bottom of my stomach was twisted around etc and so was pushing everything up. This lead to bad reflux(40mg Nexium twice a day and even then I often needed some gaviscon or quickeze to help in between) I have felt faint, though BP is fine, don't even have a postural drop which i suspected. i pretty much have lived off coffee(yes i know that doesn't help reflux but i also have a toddler and was finishing nursing studies). Pretty much two bites in no matter how well chewed and things came up. and it would hurt. Even puree soup and that came up. my surgeon told me he had only had one patient have similar symptoms to me about 8 years ago and that she had scar tissue attach to her liver when healing which caused her kink. she was an original sleever not a redo like me(band to sleeve). i gotta say i'm a tad pissy as I even waited 9 months after my band out to convert to sleeve to give my stomach extra time to heal. Anywho, i had a gastroscopy start of June for my surgeon to check what the issue was causing the kink and see if we can work the best option to fix it. Best case was dilation. Worst case full gastric bypass, and then a few options in between them. So after the gastroscopy the good news was I just needed a dilation. Problem being my surgeon hasn't done this type before so referred me to a colleague of is. This colleague has done this procedure a few times and is familiar with the technique. This dilation process is called Achalasia Balloon Dilation. Basically with the procedure they put the gastroscope down my throat(while i'm asleep obviously) then place another instrument down along side the gastroscope(this instrument is too big to go down the gastroscope). It goes down to the part of my stomach where the kink is. for me mine is caused by the stomach scar tissue being healed on each other, so there is a balloon at the end of this instrument which they slowly blow up to burst open the scar tissue. They leave it blown up for 2 to 3 mins at a time until they have done enough. That is the procedure I had done yesterday.
So I woke in recovery just a tad groggy. Apparently I had fentanyl in theatre so I wouldn't be in pain. I managed to have a coffee and it didn't come up my throat. almost cried. This is something which basically since i got my sleeve I struggled with. yes even fluids struggled to go down and not come up. I have had only occasionally small stomach cramps. haven't had to take anything for it. I really hope this procedure has worked. today i have had nibbles of food here and there and even had a salad. yes even salad didn't go down before. prior to surgery the surgeon did advise me this may not be a permanent fix and I may still need to switch to a bypass later. He told me has has a patient who was sleeved and had same symptoms as me and stomach was almost identical to mine. He did the dilation last year and slowly the symptoms have come back and he needs to dilate again. If this ends up being the case he said I'll get to a point where I am sick of it and want the bypass so I no longer suffer. i really don't want a bypass. That will be the 3rd weight loss surgery in an attempt to be "normal" and "healthy". i'm aware the risks increase each time we have surgery and am so worried i will actually die from it. Surgeon did a whole bunch of bloods as well as he thinks i would be deficient in a few things such as thiamin due to not eating but also I have been experiencing what i can only describe as feeling like i caught dementia. have had trouble getting words out, like on the tip of my tongue but can't say them, pins and needles in fingers, extreme exhaustion, forgetful etc. it's worse than mummy brain. Anyways was tested for many many things (8 tubes of blood taken) and i'm deficient in nothing. even my vitamin d is higher than the norm for summer time and I have barely taken my multivitamins because i forget. though this last week i've been good. So no idea what is causing my extreme brain farts but seems pathologically i am healthy as an ox so to speak. So really at this stage i guess we wait and see how it goes and hope for the best. Although I love the weight loss i've had, emotionally the sleeve has taken a toll on me especially with all the vomiting. never being able to eat just a small amount while out, without needing the loo very quickly after because food is sitting in my throat or in my mouth. i hope now I can eat and get back on track. I'm not far off goal weight. I don't even know what that is but i guess maybe another 10kg and i should be done. Will be nice to maybe workout too if i feel like it. again lazy i am good at but i literally have not had the energy to when not eating so yea. let's hope it works. i don't want the bypass but if i had to vomit every day, after every meal and have discomfort even from drinking I don't know how long i would tolerate that for.
Hopefully this will be the last such surgery i have to have and can get on with my life. Just want to feel normal and get on with things instead of always having my body and my attempt to be normal and healthy get in the way. Onwards and upwards hopefully.
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Calculating a patient’s waist-to-height ratio is the most accurate and efficient way of identifying whether or not they are at risk of obesity, a new study shows.
The research, published in PLOS One, examined the whole-body fat percentage and visceral adipose tissue mass of a group of 81 men and women.
The British authors discovered that 36.5% more adults would be classified as obese using whole-body fat data (one in two participants) rather than BMI (around one in seven participants, or 13.5%).
To conduct their study, they gathered accurate whole-body and abdominal fat data using a total body dual energy X-ray absorptiometry (DXA) scanner — a highly accurate way of measuring body composition and fat content.
They then calculated five predictors of whole-body fat and visceral adipose tissue that could be easily replicated in a GP’s office, and compared the results with those of the DXA scan to determine which simple predictor of obesity was the most accurate.
The five predictors tested were: BMI, waist circumference (WC), waist-to-hip ratio (WHR), waist-to-height ratio (WHtR) and waist-to-height ratio0.5 (WHtR0.5).
Lead researcher Dr Michelle Swainson, senior lecturer in exercise physiology at Leeds Beckett University, says although there are benefits to the conventional BMI method, there is concern that it is a misleading measurement.
“This is most definitely the case when people have a 'normal’ BMI but high abdominal fat that is often dismissed,” Dr Swainson says.
The results from the study show the best predictor of whole-body fat percentage and visceral adipose tissue in both men and women is WHtR.
This simple method of waist circumference divided by height measurement is not a new obesity classification but, despite evidence supporting its use, it is still not routinely measured in clinical settings, the authors note.
Cut-points for predicting whole body obesity were 0.53 in men and 0.54 in women. The cut-point for predicting abdominal obesity was 0.59 in both sexes
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It is all starting to feel real now.
I have just under 12 weeks to go now.....11 weeks and 5 days to be precise but whose counting? lol
After all this waiting it finally starting to feel real and I'm getting rather excited. I'm excited that I will finally have the tools needed to lose weight, I'm excited that I will be healthy for me and my daughter and I'm excited that I will finally feel confident in my own skin again. BUT I'm also nervous and I don't think any amount of researching or preparing is going to help and believe me I tried. I have watched videos, read blogs, researched on the net, asked question, talk to people I know who have had it done, over and over and over again and yet I still feel nervous (I'm assuming this is normal). It isn't so much nerves about the procedure or about afterwards (although there is a little bit) it is mostly just about having a operation, I have never had to have one before and the idea of being put to sleep so someone can operate on me is scary but I know this is for the best and I am committed to it so I am just going to have to be a big girl about it and get over my fear.
As far as progress goes...
I saw my dietitian the other week and she is lovely. She really knows her stuff and I felt comfort talking to her, I was worried she would be judgy like dietitians in the past but she was so warm and welcoming.
She has said she wants me to start the optislim 2-3 weeks before the operation but I can do it for longer if I like but the last 2-3 weeks are the most important. I think personally for me I might start do it for 4 weeks so that first week can act like a bit of a trail week to see if I ran into any issues and how best to sort them out (ie- how do I go about making my shakes at work without a blender etc). So with that in mind I start my pre-op diet in just under 8 weeks so now I am waiting to hear from the anesthesiologist and the hospital but all that will happen closer to the operation in the meantime I am just focusing on gaining any more weight and continuing my research and preparation.
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It's been 12 days since the op and I've continued to lose weight and feel good. I have a strange feeling in my stomach area - not unpleasant, but just strange (not a sensation I've had before). It's a sensation that seems to be associated with feeling full. When I eat, I only need a small amount and I'm not hungry between meals. There's something about the process of eating - when the food passes the band - that triggers that sensation and makes me feel full. It must be the nerves at the top of the stomach communicating with my brain.
Whatever it is, I'm grateful to it because it's doing its job! As I have not yet had a fill, I don't have much trouble eating anything in particular (it's not like my stomach entrance is very small as there's no saline in the lapband at this point) but I'm not sure I'll even need a fill. I'm finding my appetite so reduced and the need to eat when not hungry is gone. It feels like a miracle! Given that I am a very healthy eater, I have just been able to concentrate on eating very high quality, nutrient-dense foods. I'm very focused on getting enough as protein, fruit and veg - particularly fibre. It seems to be going very well and I can feel myself shrinking and shrinking. I've bought a special dress to wear to a wedding in a month's time and I bought a size 40. I would not have fitted into a size 42 a couple of weeks ago.
I"m exercising nearly every day, which I would do normally anyway, but I'm finding it so much easier as I lose weight. I feel lighter and stronger.
The main thing I'm noticing is that I feel clear-headed and full of energy. It's a great feeling.
I'm so glad I did this!
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Everything is going along fine, I am increasing my free fluid intake slowly and am nearly up to a cup!! Yet still amazingly, I am not feeling hungry, this is too good to be true, never have I ever....
Onto some reality though, I am experiencing the horrible neck shoulder pain, thought I was a hero last night with no pain relief, how wrong I was. in my defence, I wasn't feeling pain before bed, just uncomfortable, this to me didn't warrant an endone! well I was reaching for one this morning I can tell you, along with a maxalon for how sick I felt.
The moral to my story is - don't be a hero, take all the steps necessary to have a comfortable and safe recovery
Well have lost 17kg in the two weeks post op and pre op to date. Have experienced hunger for the first time but found a glass of water usually fixes that.
First big challenge this week as I hit the road for a work project. Packing shakes and some mushy food so I don't get caught out at this stage I don't think a pub feed will cut it.
I feel great. Only had one reflux episode since the operation and that was my fault eating too fast....SLOOOOOOW is the Go.
Getting great back up service from my surgeons post op nurse . available every day by phone and great to check Im doing the right thing.
So challenge of travel this week but Im up to it.
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The day finally arrived to start my pre op "diet". This is required to soften my liver so they can access my stomach. Ended up starting the next day (probably why I was given 2 1/2 weeks and not 2). I did surprisingly well. The first 3 days were complete torture. My dietician and surgeon allowed me to have non carb snacks such as carrots, broccoli and even diet jelly. By the end of the 2 1/2 weeks I was pretty happy with a couple of shakes.
I was 99kg to start.
By the time I arrived at the hospital I weighed in at 92.5 kgs.
My goal weight is 72kg.
Not bad 20% down prior to banding.
On the way to the hospital I desperately wanted to pull in to the fish and chip shop or maccas or anywhere and get some food. No solids for the next 4 - 6 weeks. I would surely die - or be a mere shadow of my former self. But that's the point. If I don't do this I will die sooner than expected. A plethora of health issues weight related, not to mention self esteem. And a history of heart disease. I need to do this.
There was a bit of a wait at the hospital, sitting around in a gown with no undies on and some crazy compression stockings.
Finally, it was time to kiss hubby goodbye. As I headed to the operating room I couldn't help but cry. I had done this to myself, my body. I had made all the bad choices that had got me here. I couldn't control my eating. I needed to do this for me, my son, my husband, my life.
Next thing I knew was I was out cold....
This is not glamorous... Not at all.
I woke up screaming down the recovery room. The pain through my body was unbearable (and I've had a baby).
The nurses were quick to give me 1, then a second, then a third dose of pain killers. I calmed.
My body was shaking and trembling from the gas.
I think I may have fallen in and out of a drug consciousness.
I was wheeled to my room and heard the sound of my husband and son. They were talking in the hallway and I came past unexpectedly.
I started to cry again.
I wanted the mask off not to frighten my son.
I could barely stay awake to say hello.
I was out again.
The First night.
The first not was sleepless. I had a lady in the same ward as me who was a little inconsiderate talking on her phone and television blaring. The nurses gave me earplugs. Every time I dosed off the nurse would need to take my BP and for some reason needed to wake me to do so. I had IV fluids and had to go to the bathroom every hour.
I had many pain killers.
The next day at 10am they sent me home.
You think that after 100s of surgeries the chemist would know to order all mess in a liquid form... That's another story.
So home 4 days. Mostly sleeping. The first couple of days hardly any liquids. Just those for crushed meds.
Am starting to have a broth a day and a juice.
Still have not gone to the loo, though I am on benefiber. I will feel better once that is all back to normal.
Still pain in tummy. Lots of gas.
Mucous cough has subsided so a lot more comfortable.
Weight down to 90.4 - less than 20kg to go.
Can only stay awake for max 2 - 3hrs. Body just needs to heal.
Pretty sore from lying down.
Looking forward to being able to stand up straight and spend time with my son.
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How thrilled was I to cull my wardrobe yesterday & take lots and lots of clothes to charity. There's plenty of room for new, smaller, items in the future (not yet I have another 17kg to go yet!) Absolutely thrilled that I made the decision to do this. It has changed my life
So I have some time to sit and write an update on how everything is going.
I'm finally under 90kg but only just 89.4kg. So I'm almost at 88kg the last weight I rember being as a teenager. So now I'm almost there I need to set a new target I'm just going to keep it easy and say 80kg. I haven't been working out as much as I should well I haven't done anything at all if I'm honest. I have been working extra hours almost an extra 10hr each week on top of my normal work week so been very tired and just can't be bothered, need a good kick up the bum to get out and do it!
As for eating, been a bit shit lately not eating as much protein as I should and sometimes skipping a meal. I guess I'm so use to fast food that having to cook just takes to much time and energy. I want food and I want it now and I don't want to have to cook. But then on the other side I could never eat fast food again as just looking at it makes me feel sick so does seeing such huge portions, like really I use to eat that much?! How I ever fit in so much food I don't know!
I really want to make fresh, beautiful, healthy food but don't really know how. When ever I try it doesn't work. Some how I always manage to over salt or spice stuff, can fix it by not adding salt till its done. Then I buy all this fresh food and not end up cooking it and it gos to the dog not that shes complaining lol. There are thing I would buy and cook but I know I would be the only one eating it and I'm not going to eat much so there seems to be no point in buying it! Its very frustrating to find things to make the hole family will eat.
So my food in a day gos a bit like this
Breakfast- Coffee then half an hour latter: fruit smoothy or bake beans on toast or just the toast depends on time.
Morning tea- coffee
Lunch- 2 cruskets with peanut butter and oats sprinkled on top or a bit of chicken or nothing sometimes I'm so busy at work I don't stop for lunch.
Afternoon tea- decaf coffee
Tea- meat of some kind with rice or cous cous, or meat and veg if I can be botherd or what ever I can find in the fridge.
Then I end the day with another decaf coffee.
Yes I drink a lot of coffee but I don't drink cold drinks. This is a normal work day, if I'm at home there is more coffee and tea is a lot better coz I have had time to make something. I wish I had a person chef!! Lol don't we all?
Crap lost my train of thought. Well I want to post some pics of before all this started and some of me now but my computer is being upgraded so can't just yet. I haven't even seen before and after photos I have them of me in my bra and nickers I will be embarrassed when I do post them but I think I need too to make it seem real coz at the moment I see the different in my clothes and what other ppl say but when I'm naked by myself in the shower I look the same and feel the same, I know the scales say I have lost 41kg but I just don't see it when I look at my body. This is why I need to see the photos and put them next to each other so I CAN see it! But part of me won't be convenience till I don't have such a rolly fat tummy the part I hate the most. I know I shouldn't say thos things about myself and be more positive but its hard to do that all the time.
On another note, got a letter to remind me I'm due for a pap smear! So if its been 2 years since your last pap smear plz go and get one! And have your breast exam at the same time.
Well that's it for now as miss 2 has decided to jump all over me.
Best news ever! On Friday just gone I got a letter from the hospital with a date for my breast reduction ! I've waited so long, and worked so hard for this, it's all a bit overwhelming, but very very exciting.
For those who don't know, I've been working on getting this breast reduction done for about 10 years. It's the reason I got lap banded. (To lose weight so I would qualify to have it done in the public system as I can't afford to self fund and I don't have any super or PHI.)
I'm having to travel a bit for it and have no idea at this stage how I'm going to get home from the hospital as depending on how long I'm in for my sister might be busy that day with school concert stuff. My son can drive me home but he's a learner so I'll have to forgo strong painkillers for the 2 hour drive home. Hopefully by day 2 or 3 I'll be fine with just panadol. But if that's what I've gotta do I'll do it.
Can anyone clue me in on what their pain levels were by day 2 or 3 and if panadol was enough at that stage?
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I have not written anything in my blog for a long time. I often wonder if anything I write means much at all except it keeps a record of my journey. A bit over three years ago I was pumped, I finally had been banded and I actually believed that maybe at last I had found a solution to what has now been a problem for me for over 45 years. Today to say I'm disillusioned is an understatement, put that together with feelings of self loathing, failure and hopelessness and that would be about the size of it at this moment in time. I am now only 5KG off the weight I was on the day of surgery, about 20kg from my heaviest weight. Ive regained over the last 18 months about 12 kilos, I am disgusted in myself. I dont know where to go from here, I keep trying and failing with my band. Its pretty much a lucky dip as to how each day will play out. some days the band is too tight to eat and out of frustration I eat sliders, other days I can eat anything almost. Ive just coming off a week of chucking up almost every tea time meal and the previous week I did not even feel as if I had a band. My eating habits are now so disorganized. Top that off with spending a couple of days with my sister who was sleeved a year after I was banded watched her being able to eat much of what I cant do and yet she has now lost 79 kilos, looks great while I'm still struggling. I'm also feeling run down and tired so today I hit the shops and got some healthy stuff food wise, going to make up vege soup, eating water melon and berries as snacks. I'm due to get back up to the city to see my surgeon soon, just waiting until after I sorted out my ankle issue. one thing at a time I'm thinking. If my surgeon offered to take the band out and sleeve me Id jump at it, I'm a public patient as is my sister, we both seem to have had the kind f surgery choice taken out of our hands and I feel she got the better deal. Sorry to be moaning but I just had to vent, and yes Ive tried just about everything, Ive been counting calories for the whole time Ive been banded, and yes Ive fallen off the wagon a lot of times but I always pick myself up again. just days like today I am just so tired of this whole struggle, its been going on my whole life, well since about the age of ten, I'm now in my 57th year
I am very excited to say that I will be sleeved in November.
I have private health insurance but dropped my level of cover which took out gastrics. So, I have increased back up & now have to wait 12 months. Boo to that!!
Anyway, I don't think I am going to be able to wait!! Has anyone out there been recently been treated as a private patient in a public hospital? My surgeon requires PHI but I would consider swapping if I could be sleeved sooner!
How do I cope psychologically when you have to wait 12 months!?
Sohealthy (soon to be..)
Life has been a whirlwind for the past few months, so much has been happening in my personal and professional life and I feel as though tonight I have hit my limit and consequently I am channelling this anarchy into my blog for relief and your enjoyment or at least some night time reading.
A few months ago I returned from my usual Saturday morning Step class absolutely exhausted, I went to bed and slept for 4 hours, woke up, ate and then returned to bed for another 4 hours, again woke up, ate and returned to bed for the night. Exhaustion.
I eased up the exercise which has led to a complete absence of all physical activity as I just don't have the energy and have stopped calories completely until I see my doctor next week. 12 months of severe calorie deficiency has finally taken its toll. I really wanted to hit my ultimate goal of 60kg by now but that is on hold and I am maintaining at 63-64kg.
The band and I are becoming increasingly less fond of each other and I am fed up with the dietary limitations and unpredictability so my fingers are crossed that a surgeon will agree to revise me for all sorts of reasons when I see him next week, fingers crossed!
Work has been completely insane for the past few months as well which has substantially affected my functioning, now that Christmas holidays are here I am looking forward to establishing a new routine after I move to my new spot and become acquainted with my new town and workplace- got to find the gym.
I am really struggling to find peace with my new body at 63-64kg, I'm already wanting to have my tummy and thighs done. No thanks to superficial, moronic, self indulged boys not men - one of whom told me I needed to lose weight from my legs! Something I already felt true and didn't need to be said!
The plan is so see the doctor, get a revision - hopefully band to bypass in one, find my energy and get running again and get hot just to prove to these idiots. Then save for a new tummy!!
Just be yourself; you are wonderful
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Ok so I am 3 days post op and feeling pretty decent pain wise - my dr was right this is nothing like having the band placed I am feeling pretty fine already. Except for the weight gain. I have been all drugged up and sleeping erratically so I have been eating erratically too but I don't know where I am at. The scales have clearly gone up a couple of kgs - part of that would be attributed to my binge eating leading up to the surgery. I am totally unsure what eating normal looks like now. I mean I do realistically but I haven't been eating regaulary breakfast, lunch and dinner so I don't know how much I am over eating or what. I am still craving sweets and junk which has been my biggest failure. I am booked in for the sleeve 27th Jan, and I sort of told myself it was ok if I put on some weight but as long as I don't go over 100kg which I have gone up to already. I am terrified of what I am capable of between now and then. It's like all my willpower has completely evaporated. I imagine just by having e band out and eating more I am likely to gain. Even if I am eating what is considered a normal amount...us WLS people are different I guess. I will talk more to my dr when I see him for a follow up in weeks, I obviously did not ask enough questions. I am thinking of trying to do lite n easy for some of the time to manage my eating a little. I only want to get 5 days breakfast, lunch and dinner. I am hoping this will help. I can't really afford it but if it is going to help me have a better control on what I am putting in my mouth then it is going to be worth it.
Three day out from the op on Monday. I started off really well, went for the the barium swallow, came back and went downhill fast! Tuesday was a nightmare, I felt so sick, tired and miserable. The drain is still leaking so I won't be going home today as planned.....very disappointed. It is certainly easy to know when I've sipped too fast....awful feeling! But.... I am feeling much better and I know this phase won't last long! Onward and upward (or should that be downward??)
Life... Just realised that it will be 4 years for my lapbandanniversary in January 2016. A time I would really like to be at goal weight.
I think my weight is between 102 and 105 kg right now and I need to work on being back to 97kg ASAP so i feel and know that i am back to my second pre preg / 6 month band success weight before I fell pregnant. I feel so blessed as I type this, I am sitting next to my beautiful 2 daughters 4.4 and 2.6 years old. My beautiful girls for whom I want to live as long as physically possible and to be healthy and a wonderful role model.
So its time to hop on the bandwagon. I joined the Glen Iris braiatic centre and saw doc there about 3 times so far for band adjustments.. I lost about 6 kg in a year which i am happy about but when i was scared to eat solids I went and got band a bit loosened. I need to consider nutirition, calories, exercises, water drinking etc. I am eating yummy home cooked meals made by mom so i cant complain and band is definitely giving me signs on when to stop eating. Started eating what a normal person would eat though and glad not over eating but definitely need to start eating like what a banded person should be eating.
I am feeling utterly completely exhausted most days. I am not sure whats bringing this, i did blood tests and its all fine. I am starting to feel as tired as i was feeling when i decided i needed this surgery, I really need to lose weight and get back to my goal weight so my body can function at its optimum and mind too. I feel like i am not letting ppl complete their sentences, getting v impatient, jumping a bit from topic to topic, not able to maintina house clean/ have 0 motivation and all that jazz.
I actually went on youtube to watch what is involved internally when they do the lapband surgery. certainly has put things in perspective and i need to start working on this lap banded body to get to my goal weight. my new mantra is you are lapbanded to lose weight so eat like a lapbander. I am not watching what n how much n when am eating, i need to go back to my fitness pal for calorie counting and do a log of all i am eating so let me start by writing and being accountable for each day :
Today I woke up at 8am and between getting 2 kids ready for kinder , packing lunch boxes, giving them breakfast and all I made myself an instast coffee with 1 sugar but i hated it so didnt drink much. instead i took mum out for brunch. I had 10am COFFEE WITH 1 SUGAR, 2 SOURDOUGH TOAST WITH AVOCADO FETA N TOMATO. Then for lunch 2pm I had SCRAMBLED EGG ON A BROWN TOAST. For early dinner 4.45pm 3 POORIS, CUSTARD WITH FRUITS. Then i took my daughter for her dance class and was angry n hungry at 8pm so ate 4 POORIS, CUSTARD WITH FRUITS. WATER = 1 glass.
I need to use smaller vessels to eat in and follow all lap band rules.
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Wow wow and yep wow, it's been a while since I put fingertips to keyboard for a blog and it's time to rant as alot has happened. But firstly I am scrolling through the forum as I do, using the Next Topic arrow (bottom right of the pages) in the Private Members Forum. Top 4 topics are embarrassed and ashamed of weight gain, how do you stay motivated, so disappointed in myself and need some motivation. I'm sitting here and it's painful to read. Not in a judgmental way but in a it hurts my heart way. Have we not all experienced teasing as a kid due to our weight, years of feeling out of place or wondering if this chair will hold me? For so many of us we have stood up and done something about it by having WLS and yet we are still beating ourselves up with powerful words such as disappointed in myself, ashamed and stupid. For those that do not know me as well as others, please don't see me as someone who preaches all the positive stuff and is one of those people who is like a vomiting rainbow of happiness where ever she goes. I've spent my time in the dark and now realise I don't need to anymore. Shedding 40 kilos has made a heap of difference and yep I still have more to lose but damn, we are still living our lives aren't we? I reckon I could chase a kilo or two to lose for ever if I wanted and NEVER be content. But that isn't living is it? So many of you inspire me and motivate me, in ways you do not even realise... so I'm asking as a fellow WLS buddy be nice to yourself, you are a success and you aren't defined as what you lose or eat or gain in a week.
As for me, well the reversed T2 Diabetes is stabilising well. Blood test this month to confirm but BSL's are good. I'm going to have a small amt of 0.5ml removed from my band at the end of the month as I am taking an impromptu trip to London, Paris and Amsterdam! Yes very exciting and I am bursting at the seems about it. So to air on the side of caution (like my NZ trip last year) I will have a bit of fluid removed. Then it will stay out for a while as I am off to Bali for a week for a wedding in September. If anyone has a must see place in any of these locations let me know and I will add it to the list.
Perth has been chilly lately and my band is affected by the cold this winter, unlike last winter as much. Yesterday I went out for lunch and had a Mushroom and Leek Risotto. Was awful and dry (I blame the Chef!) and I couldn't get it down at all. And yet at dinner time, fish, roast veg and stewed apple afterwards all went down a treat. So many foods are still fickle and others well, are just a delight. Bread and toast are fine and wraps, especially toasted ones, but I am choosing not to eat them as it makes me crave the bad carbs like chips. Which is my weakness (and KFC Potato and Gravy ) but sometimes choices are limited and a small sandwich is okay. I recently worked at Supanova and loved it! 3 days of long hours but as a Supanova volunteer sandwiches were supplied so this was one such instance where a sammich saved the day. And yes Supanova was awesome! Had my photo taken with Adam Baldwin *girly giggle* he is sooo sexy!
Time for some breakfast and a walk. It's 7.30am here and currently 4.1C brrrr time to bust out the beanie. Be safe everyone and kind to yourself xo
Well here I am and where have I been??? Great question!?!? Life has somehow taken hold again leaving me with little to none down time!!
So i am now 45kgs light than this time last year!!! YAY!! Thought it would be more but I will take that!! I am according to him and I quote a " model patient who has taken to life as a bandit like a duck to water"!!!
Still a work in progress but getting there.
Only had one fill in past 8 months i havent needed it and had no issues with my band , I still love it !!!
Surgeon happy so I am happy ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Now back at work ( I am a Property Manager) and that has taken some adjusting being back, I no longer have the luxury to exercise everyday whenever I want and now that it is winter exercise is almost nothing, and weight loss has slowed right down.....BUT life is still bloody great!!
I am feeling a million bucks, and its nice to be back at work and have people stop in their tracks to make a comment on my weight loss!!!
Pariticipated in the Westpac Helicpoter Rescue Coastal Walk last Sunday. 14kms along the coast walking on the beach, headland, rocks, bush tracks and up bloody cliffs and absolutely loved it and so proud of myself for not only doing it but finishing it!!! And what a bizarre feeling actually liking mysellf for the first time in my life!!!
Anyway I hope you are all well and life is treating you kindly.
Love and hugs from me to you !! Xoxoxoxox
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I've been away for nearly 2 1/2 years. In that time I have had 6 miscarriages, one ectopic pregnancy. And have not lost any more weight. 4 weeks ago I weighed 116kg, I'm now 108kg due to the Cambridge program- which I can stick to.
Just about anything goes through my band except shredded meat, even though it is apparently fully inflated. My advice to anyone considering this surgery? get a sleeve.
A sleeve will restrict fluid, food, anything you try to put down it. Whereas a band only focuses on satiety, and allows a lot to pass it.
Considering I'm the sort that ate a lot of processed convenience food - it was doomed to fail. Dietician explained that processed food has already been partly 'chewed' in the manufacturing process - which is why biscuits/cake etc go down so easily. So there you go.
I have learned a lot about excuses this past year:
I believed in my own physical weakness.
I saw a minor setback as an excuse to give up and turn back
I was afraid of failure so didn't even try, or never celebrated even the smallest of successes
I wanted a quick fix
I wanted a quick fix
I really wanted a quick fix
I was focussing on other people to take the attention off me and what I was doing
I believed people when they said I would never do it
I'm bone lazy and hate exercise.
But, this year something snapped when I realized that I have about 3mm of cartilage left on my right hip, and if I don't lose this weight, i face a painful life of osteoarthritis and facing an early hip replacement. This time it is about health and longevity.
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I was banded November 2013 and since then have actually gained 2 kilos.
I am in my thirties weigh 95kg - 170cm tall. I don't have huge amounts to loose and although my BMI isn't enough to qualify me, the fact that I had gestational diabetes allowed me to have surgery.
I have had many adjustment's - putting more fluid in, then taking it out and this has been going on and on and on...
When I have my period, the band feels so tight and cant eat anything, then for the other 3 weeks of the month it is too loose and I eat too much.
I went back today, and they agree that this has not worked for me mainly due to my hormone levels.
Dr Bessell isn't a huge fan of the Sleeve - he doesn't like the idea of throwing out a huge portion of your stomach, which is something that concerns me as well.
The Bypass does sound good, but it scares me a lot.
I would love to hear your feedback on this.
My Journey has finally been worth it...
Welcome to the world my Baby Boy Talon.
Born on the 13th April 2015.
Weighing 8 Pound 11 Ounces. (3.94kg)
53 cm long with a head circumference of 36.5cm.
This little boy is my world now. If it wasn't for having the sleeve surgery I never would have discovered the joy of loving the tiniest little human made by me and my hubby.
Literally the best day of my life.
Now the story...
I was booked in at 6pm to go into the hospital for an induction because low and behold I was 8 days overdue! ( I spent the whole pregnancy thinking he would come early because he may not grow properly thanks to not being able to eat much )
4.30 that morning I got up to go to the toilet and as I'm walking to the bathroom something comes trickling down my leg. I try and hold it thinking I just peed myself but I couldn't stop the flow. I was like wait a minute I think that's my waters!
By 5.30 we were at the hospital getting examined but as the doctor didn't start until 8am we had to wait. By 8.30 we got the news that the doctor thought it would be ok for us to wait until 11.30am and we were allowed out on day release to try and work on bringing on contractions as what contractions I was having had disappeared.
We went and had coffee and a cupcake at the local cake shop, where embarrassingly I leaked my waters on a chair. We then went for a walk along the river where I had some mild contractions and thought best to head back to the hospital.
By the time I got back to the hospital the contractions had yet again disappeared so started doing happy laps around the hospital. Now Gawler Hospital in Adelaide is a very small hospital so didn't take long to complete one lap and I did probably about 1000 in total!
By this time one of my support people (my mum) had gone and ran some errands and hubby was out getting himself something to eat and drink so I was in the hospital room by myself. I wanted a drink and decided to lean over a chair and reach into my esky to grab a bottle of water. From then on worse pains of my life!! Somehow just that movement started moving my baby into my pelvis and I was in pure agony. Any sort of position I got into didn't help, sitting on the fitball, leaning over the bed, sitting on the bed, laying on the bed, standing and swaying, doing more happy laps around the hospital, nothing was helping. It was around the 4.30pm mark and my contractions were 3-5 minutes apart lasting 1-3 minutes and I hadn't yet been examined by the doctor and I felt like I couldn't handle it anymore so I demanded my hubby go and get the nurse (by this time my mum was back).
I was taken to the birthing suite and finally examined. I asked for some pain relief and started on a low dose of the Gas. Took 2 puffs maybe 6 times and couldn't have it anymore as it was drying out my mouth so bad.
All along I wanted a water birth but the pain was excruciating and it would take 20mins to fill the bath. I waited 15mins and in that time I was twisting and turning into a pretzel trying to push with my legs closed at only 6cm dilated. After what felt like hours I was like what are my pain relief options because I cant handle it anymore. By the time the midwife got through the options the bath was ran and I was asked if I just wanted to try it out. By this time I was examined again and I had gone from 6cm to 10 within 5 minutes.
Jumped in the bath 30 minutes later Talon was born. The time was 6.35pm. I had spent 14 hours in labour, 3.5 hours of that in active labour.
Although painful (I ended up with a 1st degree tear), it was just an amazing experience.
We stayed in hospital until I thought I had the hang of breastfeeding which was 5 days.
The next day we had our first visit with the community nurse/midwife. She didn't have any good news. My milk hadn't fully come in and my baby was starving, dehydrated, jaundiced and had lost too much weight (410gm loss) . It was suggested we trial formula top ups and attempting the breastfeed. We had 24 hours to turn it around.
We did 2 feeds and went to wake bubs up for another (we were feeding 3-4 hourly). He was unresponsive. He was breathing and moving his arms but couldn't physically wake up enough to feed. He was in what they call survival mode. We rushed him to the hospital where they managed to get him awake and crying. They tested him for dehydration and I was confirmed he had a mild form. We were admitted to hospital to continue what we were doing at home but in a controlled environment so he could be monitored. We were discharged after 2 nights as Talon had regained some of his birth weight (170gms in 2 days) where we continued the rig a moral.
His now a healthy bouncing 4.5kg bubby and has grown 3.5cm.
I stopped breastfeeding putting bubs to the boob but I feed him expressed breast milk (what I can as my supply is so low thanks to possibly my thyroid condition, I have tried everything else to increase it but nothing seems to work, trying one more medication but if that doesn't work we will just stay on formula only) and his still has formula top ups because without them he wouldn't be here.
His almost 5 weeks old now, how time flies. It felt like only yesterday I was announcing my pregnancy even though I barely remember what it was like without him.
His the perfect baby and is almost sleeping though out the night already! Barely cries and is already making milestones. We recently found out he has a lip and tongue tie so could be why his a bit refluxy and possibly why he didn't breastfeed well. But his an overall very settled and chilled out little man.
Hubby is an amazing father and totally smitten. He takes very good care of us.
Total weight gain for my pregnancy was 5.4kg and by the time I went home from hospital the first time I was already pre pregnancy weight. 2 weeks later total weight loss was 7kg. However I'm back up 2.1kg thanks to taking the lactation drugs and consuming lactation cookies and smoothies which I'm not too happy with but once I stop feeding bubs breast milk I will get back on the band wagon and try and remember when to stop eating before I make myself sick!
Thank you everyone for your amazing support! Xxx
Attached is a few professional photos we had taken when he was almost 2 weeks.
I haven't been in here in SO long. I really wanted to use this blog to document my journey so I could read back when times are tough and I lose motivation further down the track, and need a boost. I got sidetracked with a weight loss surgery group on facebook though, and in the meantime a shitload of stuff has happened.
So my mini omega loop bypass is booked at norwest private for 10th June. ðŸ˜³ðŸ˜³ðŸ˜³ I'm on my 3rd day of opti, ðŸ˜¥ðŸ˜¥ and I will honestly mug the next person I see carrying chocolate. I'm so freaking hungry and desperate for my comfort food that I almost don't trust myself out in public hahaha. The optifast doesn't taste so bad, but holy crap there's not much of it! I'm having 2 shakes or so a day, a soup or bar, and a bowl of stir fry I made. I'm supplementing it with lots of diet cordial, tea, Pepsi max, processed chicken (don't ask, I'm so hungry I think I'm hallucinating and have convinced myself that sandwich meat is yummy on its own!!).
My stomach is gurgling and crap so much that it's interrupting me. It's so loud!! My blood sugars are goodish. My ketones are at 0.2. I have half a block of wittackers coconut rough sitting on my bedside and it's taking everything to not go and scoff the whole lot down.
Ugh. Day 3. Uuuuuuuuughghhhhhhhhhhhh. I even had the chicken soup yesterday and didn't vomit. It took a shitload of salt and pepper to hide the taste, but I did it.
Oh, I'm so hungry for chocolate. Mmmmmm chocolate. Ugh.
Anyways. Not sure where I left off the other journal entry?? So I ruled out the band, firstly. Then went for a curiosity appointment at circle of care, having read a bit about bypass, and left the room absolutely positively steaming!!! I was so angry I was in tears for days. Why, you may ask? Because not a single doctor in all my years has ever told me just HOW a bypass can radically help a TYPE 1 diabetic. It's well known what these surgeries do for type 2, and it's amazing. Dr Roy smiled and calmly drew pictures for me when I said, "I know the surgery can't do anything for my diabetes. I have the wrong type..". He then gave me a master class in gut hormones. I won't re type all I learned here, but I am looking at a reduction in my insulin levels of around 80 bolus units per day to maybe less than 20. The basal? Huh! I have to wait to see how the ketosis unfolds, but that's going to be reduced too. Did you know, it's a truckload of insulin (among other things) that helps us HANG ON to all our weight??? My goddamn diabetes was what was killing me. My endo, the dietician, the educators, my gp, all have been saying "manage your sugars, manage your diabetes" but not a one ever said this, albeit drastic, surgery would help as it will.
3.5 weeks to go. I need to make a mousse. And eat it.
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