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My Big Fat Story!

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I am back - you are lapbanded to lose weight so eat like a lapbander

Life... Just realised that it will be 4 years for my lapbandanniversary in January 2016. A time I would really like to be at goal weight. I think my weight is between 102 and 105 kg right now and I need to work on being back to 97kg ASAP so i feel and know that i am back to my second pre preg / 6 month band success weight before I fell pregnant. I feel so blessed as I type this, I am sitting next to my beautiful 2 daughters 4.4 and 2.6 years old. My beautiful girls for whom I want to live as long as physically possible and to be healthy and a wonderful role model.   So its time to hop on the bandwagon. I joined the Glen Iris braiatic centre and saw doc there about 3 times so far for band adjustments.. I lost about 6 kg in a year which i am happy about but when i was scared to eat solids I went and got band a bit loosened. I need to consider nutirition, calories, exercises, water drinking etc. I am eating yummy home cooked meals made by mom so i cant complain and band is definitely giving me signs on when to stop eating. Started eating what a normal person would eat though and glad not over eating but definitely need to start eating like what a banded person should be eating. I am feeling utterly completely exhausted most days. I am not sure whats bringing this, i did blood tests and its all fine. I am starting to feel as tired as i was feeling when i decided i needed this surgery, I really need to lose weight and get back to my goal weight so my body can function at its optimum and mind too. I feel like i am not letting ppl complete their sentences, getting v impatient, jumping a bit from topic to topic, not able to maintina house clean/ have 0 motivation and all that jazz.    I actually went on youtube to watch what is involved internally when they do the lapband surgery. certainly has put things in perspective and i need to start working on this lap banded body to get to my goal weight. my new mantra is you are lapbanded to lose weight so eat like a lapbander. I am not watching what n how much n when am eating, i need to go back to my fitness pal for calorie counting and do a log of all i am eating so let me start by writing and being accountable for each day :   Today I woke up at 8am and between getting 2 kids ready for kinder , packing lunch boxes, giving them breakfast and all I made myself an instast coffee with 1 sugar but i hated it so didnt drink much. instead i took mum out for brunch. I had 10am COFFEE WITH 1 SUGAR, 2 SOURDOUGH TOAST WITH AVOCADO FETA N TOMATO. Then for lunch 2pm  I had SCRAMBLED EGG ON A BROWN TOAST. For early dinner 4.45pm 3 POORIS, CUSTARD WITH FRUITS. Then i took my daughter for her dance class and was angry n hungry at 8pm so ate 4 POORIS, CUSTARD WITH FRUITS. WATER = 1 glass. I need to use smaller vessels to eat in and follow all lap band rules.       

sexyvic

sexyvic

 

Time has come...

So my beautiful daughter will be 1 year old in 2 weeks....what better than kick starting this countdown by going on an optifast intensive phase of 3 meals replaced by opti per day. I probably get hardly any protein and vitamins in my meals these days while caring for 2 little daughters of mine. have 11 kgs to get back to my pre preg weight. i weighed 110.6 this morning ..thanks to the band for helpnig me lose 7 kgs preg without any effort at all..been at 110 for over 6 months so body needs a bit of shakinng , moving and being in control! i have also joined a gym so i will be exercising atleast thrice per week. be it zumba, yoga or swim. After 13 years of working in corporate world, I have been given redundancy package just in time for me to concentrate on my health and raising my 2 beautiful girls and help hubby! The whole menality has changed.. i will get the help i need to lose this weight and shake off thijs feeling on being out of control! i will make an effort to look after myself , dress up well, makeup and anything that will make me feel good about me. if i feel good...my chldren will feel good and i will be a good at raising them. I will be cooking them healthy balanced meals. keeping my home clean ( with a cleaner if it gets too much). have a routine and enjoy life! Today is the 1st day of rest of my life... we have a trip planned overseas for nov .. so have good amount of time to get to my goal weight.. i just cant wait!!

sexyvic

sexyvic

 

success part 1

Start weight - 127.5 Kg. 2 weeks Optifast - 121.5 Kg (-6 kg) Surgery date - 31st Jan 2012 Dr Dolan. week 13 post op 1 May (-0.5kg) 105.9kg.... BMI 39.9 YAY! week 14 post op 8 May (-1kg) 104.9kg week 15 post op 15 may (-1.2kg) 103.7kg week 16 post op 22 May (+.4kg) 104.1kg ( gained 400 gm for the first since banding, got my first size 16 jeans yay must be still losing inches ) week 17 post op 29 May (-1.6kg) 102.5kg ( lost total of 25 kgs! getting less tired) week 18 post op 5 june (0) 102.5kg ( no weight loss... bit stressed out organising my daughters 1st bday party) week 19 post op 12 june (-1.2kg) 101.3kg ..hubby said i looked super hot on my daughters first bday! i feel my relationship changing for the better! week 20 post op 19 June ( -0.7kg) 100.6kg... cant wait to be in double digits by next week, before I fly to Bali, fingers crossed! week 21 post op 26 June (+0.4kg) 101 kg.. oh this stress is so not good for me and neither is this eating out business but who cares am off to Baliyay! week 22 post op 3 July (+0.8kg) 101.8kg..1 week in paradise of endless cocktails fine dining n yummy food n relaxation.. thanks to my band I only put on 800 grams in 9 days! week 23 post op 10 July (-1.4kg) 100.4kg.. Yay back on track and feeling good. Have my 3rd fill today. week 24 post op 17 July (-1.1kg) 99.3kg. Yay double figures and bought 14/16 size undies. week 25 post op 24 July (0) 99.3kg. week before the period week 26 post op 30 July 99.3kg ...I AM PREGNANT with our second baby on our way now, even more reason to be healthy and fit. Wednesday 22 August 98.8kg... dr dolan took half the fluid out and now i have 2.9 ml in my band due to bad nausea, cough, heartburn,sickness etc Tuesday 28 August 97.9kg...nausea and morning sickness!

sexyvic

sexyvic

 

A little letter to myself - Welcome back!

So I did the lap band surgery and lost 30 kgs in 6 months to find out I was pregnant with my second little girl. I had to get band half emptied and on 2.9ml I put on only put on 6kgs in the first 2 trimester but the third trimester was almost 1 kg a week and I ended up with putting on almost 20 kgs this pregnany. After I gave birth I only really lost 4 kgs and have been stuck at 118kg ever since. My little girl will be 11 weeks tomorrow and its time to do something now! Three weeks ago on 28 may I went to see the surgeon hoping a fill. She said you already have 4.2ml as per the system ( which I remember the surgeon saying he has taken half out and that I am sitting at 2.9/3ml in my band) so don't worry I will put on 1.2 ml and you will be fine. I felt good going back to liquids for 24 hours and then normal foods like she said. I was so careful the first week and scared of being stuck I lost about 2 kgs and saw 116kg only to find out I can actually eat cakes, breads and most things in most portions Arrrgggh! there I am back at 118kg. I don't see the surgeon till 9th July again as that's when I am booked in for another appointment to get a fill. I have another 3 weeks to go on my own and I think its good to understand that I will be able to lose this weight on my own and be in control of portion sizes, good/ bad food and get my head around this weight loss game. My daughter is now completely on formula just like my older daughter when she has turned about 2 months I stopped breastfeeding. I do have wake ups with the kids at nights and most mornings I wake up SO hungry and tired. I haven't cooked for weeks on end. We seem to live on packed food, indian take aways and quick 2 minute noodles pastas and sandwiches which was the main reason I ever put on so much weight to begin with. Falling in bad habits again like they say! I want to cook good nutritious food for my family everyday, keep the house clean and tidy, have goodsleep, have a nice bath and comb hair everyday, bathe kids everyday, do the washing and keep feeling happy. I want to be accountable for everything I eat and count it on my fitness pal. I don't ever want to eat more than half a small cup of pasta or noodles or rice or a slice of bread per day as I know the damage it does! I want to eat a lot of protein everyday. I am open to cooking meat for my husband and introducing more proteins, fruits and vegetables in my familys diet everyday. I want to drink 3L of water everday. Also I want to walk atleast once a day or get enough exercise doing house work. Make a to do list everymorning and make sure its ticked off as I go. It's my husband's 40th next weekend and I went shopping for an outfit yesterday only to find out I am a size 20 in autographs tops and size 22 in their pants. Disappointed to the max and cant wait to lose 20 kgs and be in double figures again!! Today is 18th June 2013 and exactly in 6 months my husband and I are renewing our owns for our 10th wedding anniversary. I would like to lose 30 kgs and be 88kgs on that date. So wish me luck as I give strength to myself for self control and getting back into my wedding dress I wore 10 years ago!!. GOAL started..let the countdown BEGIN!!

sexyvic

sexyvic

 

29 weeks Pregnant and my first band anniversary 2 weeks away!

I couldnt get pregnant for 2 years on and off. even remember breaking down and crying and telling my husband how empty our house and our life was! then suddenly sept 2010 on my 30th bday I got pregnant. my start weight was 112Kg and I was 131 kg full term pregnancy with my daughter born on 7th june 2011 via aI normal delivery, so I put on 19 kgs in pregnancy.I weighed 122 after giving her birth and breastfeeding but soon got stuck at 127kg and couldnt shift that number until my daughter was 7 months when I went in for the lapband. I lost 30 kgs in 6 montIhs. I was blown away and so happy with the results and also felt very healthy. We had a big celebration for my daughters 1st bday and then went on a family trip to Bali. I was 98kgs when I returned from our holiday pregnant with our second baby. While we were both so ready to have a second baby, I thnk we didnt expect it to happen in one go! But yeah here I was 6 months banded, 30 kgs lost, 1 year daughter and pregnant with my second baby - WOW! I started working part time again when my daughter was 10 months old and she loved the intraction at daycare 2 days per week. Life was fantastic everytime I was smaller and lighter. As you do in pregnant I put on some weight too. I am 29 weeks pregnant today and weight 110kg. so put on 12 kgs in 29 weeks. My goal is not to cross 110. I struglled a lot in my first trimester with nausea, morning sickness, feeling tired n all with both my pregnancies. My Dr emptied my band from 5.9ml to 2.9ml and said to come back for a fill when i am ready with the bubs post breastfeeding etc. My obstretician reconks i should get it emptied completely now but a part of me is really really afraid of putting on more weight. well i did have 3 slices of toast with peanut butter this morning for breakfast with my cuppa tea and I crave cake 24/7 to say the least! If i can eat all this with 2.9ml am just afriad what would happen if i completely emptied it! It's so hard to control ones diet/ weakness during pregnancy especially 3rd trimester where I feel like shit, not motivated, varicose veins hurt so much and I cry for no reason LOL. But I keep myself strong, well atleast try to and feel so happy when I think that at 29 weeks I am still not even at the starting weight of my last pregnancy. Hopefully after the baby I will drop 10 kgsts with and come to my double digits with breastfeeding etc straight away. You will just have to keep staying positive and find little things you tell yourself that gives you hope. I am having another little baby girl and we were saying if this is a boy then thats it we are done but if its a girl we will go ahead and have 3 kids no matter what. so had to come to terms with that too and knowing i want to have one more baby, whre will i fit it in the scheme of weight loss etc... so got almost depressed thinking of sooo many things which we dont even know whether they will happen or not. Pregnancy is a gift, cherish that little miracle in you and look forward to the day when we will have our gorgeous little girl in our arms, smiling and looking at us with content and thanking us for a wonderful in womb experience by being positive and happy and sharing all those vibes with her for 9 months!! so its never too late hun, just forget everything and just concentrate on the miracle :-)

sexyvic

sexyvic

 

week 16 post op!

so it must be time to write another blog... i have lost an avg a kilo each week since banding but week16 was differnt. i put on 400gms, i know its not a lot but since i did put on instead of losing its not a good thing and i must look back on everything i am doing wrong and fix it asap so i have a better weight loss and better lifestyle. so what has changed? alright bad habits are so hard to kill, i am still not cooking much, its hard cos my hubby is a non vegeterian and loves him meat he eats lunch out n usually cooks enough meat once a week to last him few good meals. we socialise a lot and it always involves eating out. so looking at last week what happened : breakfast = same tea n weetbix - proud of me! lunch = left over from dinner dinner = cooking = 1 night only last week, eating at restaurant = 3 nights at chinese ( fried tofu n fried rice, no where near what i would eat before but still bad choices), 2 nights at indian take away ( daal makhani n rice - creamy spicy n yummy), watched 2 movies so had 2 choctop ice creams cos too scared eat popcorn and no soda cos i hate the bubbles in the band. exercise = 2 walks with hubby, baby n dog 20 mins each. not organised enough to go to gym or exercise more. water = half a litre only in teas n cordial. also bought full cream milk for my daughter to try ( she is 11 months) was on special so to save $ bought a deal 2 for whatever grrr! bought digestive biscuit packet 90cal per bisc.. must be having 1 or 2 with my cuppa a day! no wonder i put on 400gm! most of the weeks are like these : breakfast = tea n weetbix lunch = tofu / cheese slice/ 2 - 3 cruskits cuppa tea dinner = 2-3 cruskits, stiry fry veg n spicy beans or som sort of protein! water = 500 ml in teas n cordial. I cannot understand what i need to do to change my not cooking habit, its so easy to just go out n splurge..i want to be better prepared have meals ready in the house and stick to no more than eating out once a week! well thats my plan from now on. most important to track and start moving. Been so lazy havent taken any multivitamins, no wonder hair is falling much i really am one freaking lazy woman i think, must stop spending timeon facebook, be more organised and stay on track!!! btw i have also been stressed out max since banding last week, issues at daughters daycare, work deadine to start fulltime or make other arrangements, daughters first bday party in 2 weeks so all organising etc. stress does no good i did go for a yoga class last week and it was awesome! must do it again soon. can do some meditation n calming exercises too or listen to music etc.. havent managed to sleep much last night, need to destress n get organised!!! anyways bought my first size 16 jeans at a sale and so excited to have fitting clothes. wardrobe is a mess with big clothes, need to pack them away. so bought 2 nice fitting jeans and 8 summer/ party dresses on sale for my daughters bday parties one on 9th june with friends n fmaily and one on 23rd june combined with mothers group and then our vacation to bali end of june! its my hubbys 39th bday and i want to look great for him and for me ) have so many photo opportunities for june, MUsT get to double digits asap. heres to a better week next week xxx

sexyvic

sexyvic

 

9 weeks post op!

9 weeks today since I have had my lap band surgery. I have lost a total of 18.1 Kg since the beginning of this year and I have had one fill. My next fill is on 12th April but I have noticed lately I have been able to eat bigger portions and I have to work on changing my mindset ASAP! This week I only lost half a kg and eat some bad foods n more than what I should have!! Since I have gone back to work (2 weeks) I am noticing my eating habits has changed, there is a lot of stress working part time juggling a 9 month old baby, child care n what not! Went grocery shopping for the month to be well organised and I did a bad shop on Friday for this month Instead of shopping like a bandit, I still came home with trolley full of things, not good things!! Well my grocery bill should have halved, if not quartered but it is still the same or actually a bit more.grrr. I have come such a long way and I have to understand that I have done a dramatic step of having a surgery and I should not eat the way I used to before. This is not jenny craig or weight watchers wheere i can afford to have roller coaster bad n good eating days... this is asking for trouble! My portions in the last 2 weeks have increased from 1 weetbix to 1n hald or 2 with even a teaspoon of almond meal in it! 2 cruskits to now 3 cruskits for lunch, with light cottage cheese to spreads like peanut butter, avocado dip, hummus n pesto, spicy capsicum the ready made ones that u have with chips. I even fooled myself that I was buying a packet of chips for my husband and finished half of them though over 3 days but still!! Increased for cuppa tea to 2 cuppas and 1 coffee too. I even had a piece of bread and a piece of crumpet this week grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr what am I thinking!!!!!! I am too afraid to have banana or fruits as it has equal amount of calories like cruskits and arent as yummy! .I even dared and had 3 pieces of raffello and 2 dairy milk chocies. Plus I have been too lazy to drink water, I had some good gym sessions and body hurt so much that i didnt go yesterday or today...what am I doing, falling into old bad habits again!! I need to ban certain foods from my house and I need to stop snacking. Only eat 3 times per day and go back to following Prof Obriens 8 simple rules! I dont think I chew enough and neither do I eat slow. My worst enemy, I MUST stay away from and never buy - Chips, Dips, Peanut butter/ butter/ nutella/ spreads, Bread, Rice, Chocolate ( Fererro n Rafaello). I should cook everyday - make at least a stir fry with tofu / lentils/ beans/ legumes etc. I must drink plenty of water and take my vitamins daily. Alright tomorrow is another week, I am going to go on optifast and try to lose the 1.5 kg I have to before 12th April when I see my surgeon again and he would like me to be 108 that day! so my plan is gym 4 times per week atleast. plenty of water, cook daily, eat exactly the amount n type of food I should..most importantly maintain a food diary! I will do it, I know I can!!!

sexyvic

sexyvic

 

6 weeks post Op - 1st target achieved.

15 March 2012 Today 6 weeks post Op , I have reached my first target of being back to my pre preg weight on my first day return to work. I weighed 111.8Kg on 18th Sept my 30th birthday, the day I think I got pregnant. Just before giving birth I weighed a whopping 130.2 kgs wearing size 24 and 26 tops n 2 black xxl tights, I was big and I wanted to take the last trimester off work so I stopped working on 19th March 2011. I had a normal delivery of my beautiful baby girl on 7th June 2011. I managed to lose weight and stabilise at 127.5 when I decided that even 6 months after giving birth I could not lose any weight, it was time to see Dr Dolan. Today 15th March 2012 - my first day back at work after having a year off maternitry leave. I wanted to get back to my pre preg weight so I can get into my work clothes easy! I am happy to report today I weigh 111.7Kgs and I am back inot my fav size 18 dress :-) This was my first target!!! I feel good and now I have to work towards achieving my next target of losing 12 kgs in the next 12 weeks so I am in double digits for my daughters 1st birthday on 7th June 2012. Its time to eat healthy forget the craving for ihot chips or diet ice cream or yummy cheese and only stick to what the dietician has said to eat. Dont forget to drink your water and take your vitamins too ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1st Dec 2011 I had the following in my introduction so I am now cutting n pasting it below to remind me how far I have come and I am here to win this battle :- Hi I am Vicky from Perth! I am 31 years old, married and have a 7 month old baby girl. I dont remember being big as a kid, almost all the photos I have of me till 13 show me I was quite the skinny happy kid. When I turned 13 and got my periods I started putting on weight plus I think I also had typhoid and lost a lot of weight around then. I was 61 kgs when I was 13. I have tried starving myself, no carbs, yo yo, only liquids, jenny craig, weight watchers, sureslim, xenical, ayurvedic medicine to lose weight, was in public list to have sleeve done in NZ for almost 2 years, optifast etc etc and all resulted in the following post diets i would lose a bit of weight n then put in back on even more : Age type of diet Weight 13 yoyo 61 15 only liquids 65 16 no carbs 72 18 yoyo 85 19 shakes n gym 76 20 xenical 81 21 starve yoyo 99 22 jenny craig n gym 74 24 weight watchers 95 26 ayurvedic tablets 97... CONFIRMED PCOS 27 yoyo metformin 105 28 sureslim 107 ...... been trying for a baby! 29 - 30 got myself in public list to have the sleeve in NZ waiting for it, optifast n gave up all diets 112 30- 31 yay was preg most of the year, weight on due date 130kgs had a baby girl normal delivery 122 31 - now put on weight post breastfeeding so right now 127.5kgs GETTING BANDED ON 31st Jan 2012 Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The doctor reckons I should aim for 75kgs, my hubby reckons thats the hottest he has seen me post jenny craig 74 and he will be soooo happy if i can stay at that rest of my life. I AM SO READY TO PUT AN END TO THIS WEIGHT LOSS STRUGGLE AND KNOW I HAVE THE TOOL TO LOSE WEIGHT AND MAINTAIN IT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE... WOW FEELS SO GOOD ALREADY! I CANT WAIT TO START MY JOURNEY TO BEING HEALTHY, FIT, HAPPY AND LOOK HOT )

sexyvic

sexyvic

 

Post banding week 4, first fill, long weekend away -week 5.

So today I completed 5 weeks since my banding on 31st Jan. Just had a quick read at my first 3 weeks post banding blog and thought its a good idea to write about what happened next!... Well after 3 weeks, I was feeling pretty hungry and i noticed my portion size was increasing. I was trying to eat more frequently. I bought some corn criskits and had low fat feta cheese and avocados for lunch n dinner. For snack I would eat a cheese slice and sometimes two. I am a vegeterian and cheese is one of my big source of protien but i must admit i think i overdo it as it also has a lot of fat in it! my typical day was breakkie 1 weetbix with hi lo milk followed after an hour by a cuppa tea with equal n hi lo milk. lunch n dinner were cruskits with avocado n cheese and sometimes I ate lentil pancake or yoghurt with some rice n lentils etc. I am really focusing on eating more protein as I noticed a bit of hair fall. Its weird I didnt eat any or much veg or fruits. I find the texture scares me in trying after reading many stories here but I must include fruit n veg in my diet everyday!! Also I admit I still dont drink more water, arrrgh i have finally washed a big bottle n will drink atleast a litre no matter what!! I didnt drop much weight in week 4 - not surprised thanks to the cheese! We had a dinner out with some friends in my week 4 at a nice indian restaurant where I ordered dal makhani and ate a few pieces of paneer curry with the tiniest piece of nan, i was full. Must say its easier socialising when friends know about my band and they are so supportive and compliment and support me everytime! I also went to watch a movie with my hubby who felt guilty to order a pop corn but I insisted he did, he offered it to me a few times along with his sprite and then apologised for forgetting haha! I had a couple of popcorn and sucked the salt n butter out of them but was too scared to chew n gulp lol. I did enjoy couple of bites of a choc top though. Weird I never ate much ice cream but knowing it wouldnt be a problem going down I seem to pick it up more often, not good too much calories! Thursday 1st March came and I had my usual breakkie n lunch then off I went to my first fill visit to the surgeon. he was really pleased I had lost over 13 Kg! he found my port n put in 4.5ml and gave me some water to drink. I could feel the water going down slowly. I also felt like something was stuck at the back of my throat or tightened my throat too, felt v tired n low energy and still stopped to do my grocery shopping on way home. Next time after fill straight home n lie down! Doctor had put a band aid to stop lil bit of bleeding after the fill, I wasnt sure when to take bandaid out etc but I pulled it out without any pain after 2 days but weird though after day 3 that area became blue green for 3 days now and is slowly getting lighter, not sure what it means! I saw my dietician who gave me what to do from week 4 onwards plan, she was v helpful and answered most qs I have on my list. I was on liquids v8 juice, milk, up n go mainly from thurs afternoon till saturday evening. Doc said 3 days of liquids and a solid meal on sunday med size but dietician said to go on mushy after 2 days of liquids and by sat eve the tight feeling in throat had almost gone..It was a long weekend so we had planned a holiday to pemberton and walpole. i ordered for dinner an eggplant parmigiana and came with mashes potato I had a bit of it but was too dry n scared of it being looking too solidy as my chest felt a little tight ( thats exactly when I STOP) so i ordered a vegetable soup which went down fine and was yummy. forgot to say i am usually happy chappy on long drives, but I found myself feeling a bit of motion sickness when I sat at the back, not sure if this is related to the fill. I also had a cold sore and my daughter wasnt really her happy self due to teething the the entire long weekend, inspite of taking her to the doc before leaving! I was bit uneasy sleeping on sat night n felt like taking panadol may be I had a little too much of the soup but throat felt funny, was fine in the morning where I only had some strawberry yoghurt for breakfast with a cuppa coffee. For lunch we stopped on drive n i had a little bit of choc ice cream and 4 potatoa chips really chwed and went down fine, felt guilty eating it but i was out on the road and not much choice plus i dont wanna be anal n not touch junk at all, though i feel i should not even try eating junk! funny my hubby finished a whole big packet of chips and mom a whole big carton of choc milk on top of their ice creams. At times I compare to what others are eating to make sure i am eating v little n better quality food and that i am on track! Sunday evening we all stopped at mc donalds and i ordered me a mango smoothie but only had a few sips n it was way too sweet! i was offered a cup cake n ate a 1 cm piece lol n didnt like the taste anymore i used to love cakes before, i ate a couple of hot fries went down ok after a lot of chewing on it. came home after long drive n had cruskit with more than half of camembert circle ( again cheese arrrgggh), just seems like an easy choice and the same next day!! It was a friends bday today and i love how my hubby says u can share with me and i just have a bite or two. i did enjoy a cup of skinny latte during the movie we all went to see. we love socialising so its good to see i am coping fine so far and enjoying n not feeling left out. I have lost 14 kg but now I want to reach 20 kgs loss soon. I can see how i need to introduce exercise daily and drink more water plus time my 3 meals n pre plan them so they are ready. well thats the plan for the next week and I am sure this 4.5ml of fill will keep me fuller for longer and help me with the weight loss. Oh the highlight was wearing shorts on a hot day on my long weekend holiday. I felt so comfortable in my denim shorts!! it is all so worth it

sexyvic

sexyvic

 

I am a Bandit - my first three weeks!

I had the lapband on 31st Jan 2012. My mum arrived from NZ on 29th Jan 2012 to help. My hubby took 2 weeks off to help with my 8 month old who I think had no idea what was going on. I woke up early had a nice long shower and got ready. We went to the hospital, I was not allowed to even sip water from mid night but it wasnt too bad. My hubby forgot my daughters nappy bag with all her goodies and went back home. My mum, I and my daughter were chilling in the glengarry lounge, then I was called to do the paper work etc. In an hour my hubby came back to us with the nappy bag. We all walked to my ward, I shared a room with 4 other bandits. I was little nervous and tired. I told my hubby to take my daughter home as the room didnt have much space and told him to go rest at home with her. I wanted my mum by my side. She was there holding my hand and giving me the moral support, my mum is my rock! I was told at 6.30am when we reached the hospital that I am fourth on the list. at 10am I wore the stocking and the gown and told mum to take some photos of me, we giggled and that helped! I have never had an operation in my life before but I was calm and knew I have to get this done. At 11am i was wheeled to the theatre, I requested if my mum could come and they let her in all the way to the recovery area, where I had to wait for 15 -20 mins, thank god mum was with me so we were just chatting. Dr Dolan came and asked me whether I was ready and whether I have changed my mind, he said are you sure you want to do this and go ahead with this ? I didnt hestitate even for a second and was so confident, I said Yes I am ready! he explained that there will be 4 cuts then I will be in recovery in an hour where they will keep me for 20 mins and then send me to the ward to rest. I remember being wheeled into the theatre and saying bye to mum. I was told to move from one wheeled bed onto the theatre bed. Anesthetist whom I had met with before started looking for my vein and a lovely asian nurse was chatting with me asking me my profession etc then she asked me to breathe I remember breatheing, then the anesthist said take deeper breath and in couple of deep breaths ..that is the last thing I remember. Then I heard a nurse ask me how I was feeling and whether I was in pain and if so to rate it betweek 5 and 10. everything was a bit blurry, I just wanted to see my mum and be with her. I got two top ups ( must be morphine) and then after half an hour a lady came and took me to the ward. I just wanted to see mum and then I was at peace. oh and I did not like the bit oxygen mask, so they gave me a little wired one through my nose was easier. The first feelign as soon as you wake was " gosh what have I done, I could hear ppl who werent supportive in me having a lapband etc.. this si the down feeling of morphine I think.. not good. Mum was asking me how it went and I told her I am having so many negative feelings n thoughts i will tell you later pls. she just was holding my hand. In about 30 mins I wanted to get up and start walking I did not like that negative feeling so I asked a nurse whether I could walk she said u walked to the ward in the morning so dont worry i am sure u can walk, she took my oxygen off and told me to rest for another 15 mins as I had just come out from the theathre. Then after an hour I felt better, got up, saw my cuts and walked holding a rail with mum. Then used the bathroom and went to sleep. Again after an hour I walked and it got better. Then hubby came with my daughter around 5pm was so good to see them, I walked again with him this time and got more confident. I had asked for dry ice just before my first walk cos my throat was a lil sore. I kept sucking on the ice and felt better. Also drank few sips of water now n then.There was pain now and then at the incision site and being bloated tummy was a bit sore. I was given panadol sluble and other pain killer. I sent everyone home around 8pm, watched a bit of tv , read a magazine and walked couple more times at night as I couldnt sleep. Nurse gave me oxycodene which helped me to sleep, I showered in the morning and chatted with my room mates. One lady didnt look much big but she said there were heart disease in the family so she wanted to nip this in the bud now itself, the other lady had lost more than half her weight and was there for plastic surgery on her arms and the third lady was in and out cos she couldnt get water down since banded coupld of days ago. By 8am everyone was looking better and chatting and getting ready to go home. I was given liquified apple juice. I had a few sips was nice.My family came to pick me up and we came home around 10am, I remember feeling a little out of breath in the car and once we got home I rested.I had apple juice and water on day1. Then day 2 v8 juice n cranberry juice n water. Then day 3 did some clear liquids, veg broth, thin soups, thin smoothie, butter milk etc. It was nice to be home and I was able to feed my daughter, change her nappy etc. It was nice to be invovled but I just couldnt wait to hold my daughter in my arm but I couldnt lift weight for 2 weeks. Thank god for mum and my hubby. I asked hubby to go to work on day 3 itself as mum and I were managing fine at home with my little daughter. I made this homemade soup on day 6 and gosh i may have had a couple more sips than I should have and I had the most bloated uncomfy feeling, was burping, hiccups etc for a while. Itook it easy the next couple of days and all returned to normal. I had ordered my knife fork book, bowl , plate and vitamins but they didint arrive till a week post banding. anywho it was really good once i started taking vitamins, i had more energy to do everything. book looks good but i havent made anything from it yet. My appetite returned on day 10 but my day 12 again I had to remind myself to eat. just after a week my mom n i went out for a coffee, i couldnt sip more than quarter of it and got the rest take away, we took my daughter to the rhyme time in the library and walked for an hour slowly in the mall. good outing that was! the first 2 weeks on liquids was not too bad i also did sustagen and up n go. on day 13 I had my first social outing to a friends place for dinner they knew abt my lapband and she had made mexican, i nibbled on a bit of grated cheese from top of nachos for entre, water for my drink and for the mains i had some of the bean mixture soupy thing she had made with more v8 juice mixed,. it was lovely! i also had half a calipo ice block for desert yum! I really did not felt left out at all and we all did talk lots abt my surgery but that was unavoidable for first visit. Next day we were invited for lunch in the city and there was no soup on the menu gosh! I even requested but they refused so I ordered a penne pasta with more sauce and kept eating the cheesy sauce was full in about 5 mouth fulls, got the rest packed, even these friends knew i am badned so it was good. then i ordered a skinny late had a couple of sips n i was full so got the rest take away. i hate wasting food but am learning slowly. It can get a bit embarassing asking for doggy bags but i hate wasting food. I MUST remember to get my coffee in take away containers only though when i order it. week 3 mushy started and i enjoyed mex mix of mashed avocaod with weight watchers baked beans and a bit of chilli taco sauce was yuuum blended like a dip! I also had lentil soups, other soups with beans in them. We were invited to a picnic in kings park and I ended having water form the watermelon, cuppa tea, a tiny bits of mashed banana, mashed potato and couple of things from mums plate all mashed up n pureed in my mouth bfore it even went down. I had coupld of times the feeling of something sore in middle of my chest and learnt to eat slowly and chew more. Through out I couldnt drink a lot of water cos I couldnt figure more 1 mouthful every 10 mins as per the dietician .. anywho I am making more effort this week to drink water. On the weekend we had our close family over for dinner, my uncles knew abt my op n had sent me the loveliest flowers. I could eat a little bit of veg and cottage cheese and a yummy soup. I just didnt feel hungry and when everyone had wine i treated myself to a few sips of mango juice. After 3 weeks I also got my period which i had missed for 3 months! anyways these 3 weeks have been an eye opener when i see others eat i wanted to stop them eating so much and so fast, my hubby asked me couple of times whether its ok if he can eat in front of me, my mum is so big and she is also motivated seeing my weight loss. I have lost 13.2 kgs since I started optifast on 15th jan. I find it easier to walk, easier to get on the floor and play with my baby girl, I wore size 24 clothes and today I fit a size 20 jeans. my hubby keeps telling me how much weight i have lost and how good i look everytime, i love to dress up now! My friends have noticed how my face has gone much smaller, my rings fit me so well and It feels really good and everything is just so worth it! It feels awesome to have made a start on this journey and I am loving already and more looking fwd to my new slimmer healthier happier life

sexyvic

sexyvic

 

Two Days Before Lap BandSurgery

2 more days and I will officially be a bandit. There is a lot going on in my head but I want to write this so I can come read this post anytime if I ever feel down that I cant eat or have one of those why did I do this moment?! A letter to myself : Dear me congratulations only 2 days to go and you will be fine. You have suffered from Obesity for almost 20 years! you are only 31 years old and you have another 20 years of feeling good about yourself and being healthy. I know your relationship with food will change but only for the better. You have eaten everything you always wanted, never really thought twice except for when you did jenny craig and you have a 26 kg weight loss in 8 months! See what happens when you CHOOSE.. so think of this band as something that will help with your willpower, you will not go for foods which are bad cos I know how shitscared you are of getting stuck! No idea what it feels like but sounds like a pretty bad experience which I know I want to stay really away from. You have seen your mom, your aunts, your grandma, your big sis and everyone struggle with weight all your life. You are the first woman in your family to take such a big surgical step but why not, I dont want you to suffer like them with self hatred, self respect, health and happiness. You have really suffered from big huge, your feet hurt soo much past 4 years, you cant keep up with your friends n hubby walking in the mall, you have PCOS and the dietician said your body is fighting against you for the weight loss cos of it, you could never shop for clothes in nice shops where your friends did, on your 21st bday your bf help you wrap a tight belt around your tummy so it doesnt stick out, you are only 18 and ppl asked you whether you were pregnant, you got offered advice everywhere you went abt how to lose weight and reduce your tummy, no pants ever fit you right, gosh it was atleast good number of years before you ever bought pants with zip on them, the only thing you and yur partner of 12 years have look fwd to is eating out, dining out, enjoying life and partying! Lets face it from 18 till 31 you have a ball with the foods! You also never exercised guess you just didint feel like it or may be youd idnt have the time cos you were busy thinking where to go for lunch or dinner haha! You want to do this for your mother, you have seen how much she has suffered all her life, being teased, your dad making her feel like so small, how she hated her body but she is such a gem and found ways to shine, a bit like you isnt it ? Tired of people giving you those looks, tired of feelign so insecure about yourself that you couldnt stand if your partner would talk to a pretty skinny gal and yo would be so jealous n insecure. never told yourself you are pretty, why ?! you know you are but you couldnt gain that self respect cos you were never in control cos food came first and food controlled you!!!! even on your 30th bday you werent happy with the way you looked and how long ago did you even give up sucking your tummy in! You know this isnt a easy road but this is the only option you have, couldnt shift the 127.5 kg could you for good few months ? couldnt be motivated to do any diets cos u knw you wont last at it for too long n will throw in the towel... you know there is NO other option but this lapband. Yes sleeve would make life easy but then who knows what the future holds ?! you are NOT meant to be cutting a big chunk of your tummy out, you want to have more babies, improve your habits, gain that self confidence and self esteem and be soo proud of yourself. YOu were in a queuue to have sleeve done in nz for 2 years and your surgeon ins perth is also willing to do the sleeve on you but remember what Dr Dolan said : IF I WAS 31 I WOULD NEVER DO THE SLEEVE, BELIEVE ME YOU ARE CHOSING THE RIGHT SURGERY , I DO SLEEVES ON PEOPLE WHO ARE OLDER AND MAY NOT WORRY IF THEY DIDINT LEAVE 15 - 20 YEARS MORE, WHAT IF THERE IS EVER A LIFE THREATNING DISEASE AND YOU CANT FIGHT IT COS YOU CANNOT EAT MORE THAN THAT LITTLE SLEEVE HWO MUCH NUTRITION CAN YOU EVER PROVIDE WITH TAHT LITTLE SLEEVE TO YOURSELF OR YOUR BABIES TO COME, LAPBAND IS REVERSIBLE WORST CASE SCEARANIO YOU JUST TAKE IT OUT, YOU KNOW YOU GAVE YOUR 100% AND TRIED IT BEFORE EVEN THINKING ABT CUTTING YOUR BODY PARTS! Now you have a wonderful 7 month old daughter and Vicky you know you have to be a role model to her, she will eat like the way you do, be a really good model so she and you can be both proud of yourself! That she will never be teased for being fat like you did. you are making the most awesome decision and this decision is the right oen for you, dont you ever regret it, ever. you know this road is not easy but like i said you also know that you dont have any other option. worst case scenario you can always get the band out but why would you ever think of that, you dont want to go back to the no self control life, feelign so tired n lethargic and each day is so hard mentally and phsycially. What is Food, a source to give you energy, yes there are yummy versions of them but you are a smart cookie, you will find ways to make what you are allowed taste yummy. Believe in yourself Vicky you have let yourself come to this stage where you need this help but think of it as a blessing that you can get this tool to remain same weight at your goal for the rest of your life. be able to fit into same clothes 2, 4, 6 years down the line. You have been a vegeterian all your life, so kind to animals n your partner told you were fat cos you were a veg n not eating enough protein. see he has high cholestrol but you havent plus this band is veg friendly more than the non veg so this solves a reallly big dilemma you have bee going throught to convert to a non veg, no need. Be what you are and who you are and make yourself happy. You are doing this cos you want to life longer, you want to see your daughter grow up, you want to be there during her school days, her college days, her university days and on the day she gets married and helping her on the day she becomes a mom! You want to have many many happy memories ahead, so you chasing her in the park and photos of you in a bikini or a nice swim togs on a beach on a family vacation for her to treasure, you dont want to feel so huff n puffed all the time. you want to get on a bike n cycle and a motorbike without thinking will it take my weight. You want to jump on your hubby when he comes from work or when you are on the beach, you want him to carry you in his arms, you want to sit on his lap, you want to look fwd to making love... You want a change in lifestyle, you want happiness, you want good health and you want a lot of pride in yourself... yes Vicky this is the reason you are doing this surgery. Dont you ever doubt yourself and your decision. I am 100% confident you are making the right choice for you. ALL THE BEST DARLING. Love you forever.....ME.

sexyvic

sexyvic

 

Thank you! Thank you!!

Well I am getting a lapband in a week and what happens. We get an invitation to for a dinner on 6th Feb to a colleagues house, ofcourse we have decided we accept it and I will make a last minute excuse and not go! Also we decide its our turn to throw a lunch party to our close friends, usually we all take turns and I tell hubby lets get it over and done with cos it will be harder to host a party for the next 3 months post lapband. So a very intersting weekend! Hubby comes home tired on Friday night, we have a lot of cleaning, grocery shopping, cooking, washing the dogs a ton to do I have been on optifast since the last 2 weeks but more strictly since a week and am feeling pretty tired and yuck! IF I am not eating why the hell am I cooking and putting myself through so much!! But I am so glad I did as I learnt SO MUCH .. I had been starving for a week on optifast. I eat veges but with a lil cheese and chilli sauce or a stir fry but nothing satisfying! Friday night hubby has the stiry fry I made with his meats etc and I have a shake! We are both knackered, him from a full day at work and me from a full day looking after 7 month and fighting / stopping myself from eating. Saturday morning he starts cleaning the house buys a breakie but good boy eats it outside so I dont get tempted. I have a shake n feeling my worst 5 days of full on optifast v low energy levels! Saturday arvo we go for grocery shopping I am almost mourning as I am going through each aisle saying good bye to all the yummy treats I picked up from each aisle lol... no really wasnt a good feeling at all, like what if I am never able to eat these things what if it gets stuck.. and then the trolley is full of things we need for cooking for the lunch party!! everything I CANNOT EAT - chips, yummy breads, cake, ice cream n bla bla! We then went to the cheesecake shop to get desert. I pick the big choc mudcake for the party and a quarter cake I want to taste lol .. We get home knackered and I wanted to open each packet and eat everything from it!!My hubby stopped me from eating chips twice, my biggest weakness, he is so loving and kind, he has never askedme to lose weight or made remarks and i told him i dont know why i have to do this op when you love me the way i am, he said its all upto you and i am here to support you op or no op. but then he said after sometime May be you need this Op!I got SO busy cooking, that I forgot ALL about the hunger or needing or wanting food. I cooked n cleaned non stop for 3 hours. I was soooo tired at the end of it and SO proud that I am such an awesome cook my hubby kept telling me how everyone is going to love what I cooked! I had a little bit to taste n some chicpeas n went to sleep. Sunday friends arrive, house is cleaned, food is served, so busy entertaining and talking to all I hardly ate anything, my friends noticed i am not eating but we had 12 guests over so it wasnt hard to move around n talk to others. i told my friends about the op i am having, i am not worried abt anyone judging me and if they know its their loss, i know i am having op cos i have tried all diets in the past and am BMI 47 now with pcos.. I dont want to struggle like my mum who is 58 and 125 kgs my sister who is 41 and 90kgs. I am 31 right now and if I can do something about my weight with the help of band, I am going for it. worst case scenario if its a big hassle, I just get it taken out. I am only really worried about lack of energy or feeling down or food getting stuck. But I am sure if I plan well I can make everything that goes down easy taste yummy and healthy!!! my friends did say ..just go for it etc etc but I know they were concenrned especially how will I cope not eating etc for the rest fo my life they think I feel.. anyways they are like friend A 55kg, friend B 52kg ,friend Cmax 70kg and friend D max 62kgs. How will they ever knw what its like to be 125 kgs! well it the 75Kgs more than my ideal weight or 50 kg more than my doctors goal weight that I am carrying each day and not them! So I did what I had to, tell them and I am not going to think anymore about this. I will take each day as it comes, if we all get together and I cannot eat then simple I cannot eat but I can still enjoy their company, share jokes, watch movies and if they are true friends they will be there. But what I learnt was how they all ate... very conscious I dished up abiggish entree friend D said no lets start small and if we want we can have another portion, friend A skipped entree, friend B had some but focused more on protein I think, friend C is lucky born skinny but still no second helpings! everyone ate desert like a sparrow some only a small piece of cake and some skipped ice cream completely!! Well why didnt I ever learn to eat like this?!! was this cos I am greedy or watched a big mom dish up big portions ?!! I am sure ppl did this all along of my 31 years but I just never noticed how others eat... sadly I am sure they would have noticed how much I dished up and how many helping I repeated * ASHAMED* I suddendly feel like I am in control and its not hard work and I did ask myself today after i downloaded myfitness pal etc do I need this band ? Its as simple as calorie counter eat less and burn some calories and guaranteed weight loss! May be I gave up on all diets back in 2010 and could I have not started all over again and fresh ? I think answer is Yes..... but could I have mantained n lost 50 kgs I know the answer to that is most definitely No, would have taken me couple of years and I would had a plentry of days where I would just throw in the towel and eat like a hippo lol.. so yes I am getting the band cos I want to lose quite a bit of weight and MAINTAIN it for the rest of my life. My new stomach and my new habits there will be and so a new life and definitely a new wardrobe where I can buy expensive clothes knowing they will fit me for YEARS to come! I never buy anything more than $10 - $20 cos I dont know whether I would FIT in them for how long ... I am so looking fwd to not having my feet ache sooooooooooooooooo much, not having my back hurt sooo much, going to a normal shop to buy clothes / go to any shop and know they will have clothes in my size! My belly not hanging out and I dont having to wear gurdles or shawls or jackets to hide it., have lots of energy and not get tired, be able to walk in a mall for an hour without feeling like dead and wanting to sit down all the time, getting up and down with my little girl without a worry, be able to sit with my legs crossed like a lady showing off my heels and pedicure, be able to get up from the floor without the support of my two hands. be able to walk into my walk in wardrobe and find all clothes normal size and more importantly all clothes fitting me easily! , having regular periods and not checking whether i am preggers each month cos i dont have regular cycles, smile showing my teeth n dimples and not just huge chubby cheeks making my eyes look so small, having a lot more confidence about myself and my choices and most importantly having more SELF RESPECT! I am go gratefuul to be on this web site, as I read cases where ppl are SO upset cos they arent losing weight, ppl who are SO happy cos they are losing weight and got to their goal n maintaining it, ppl who say this is the best thing they have done, ppl questioning why they spent all this money doing it, ppl who have awesome self control, ppl who love exercising now, ppl who are honest and share their true feelings, ppl who are so human and share their slip ups, ppl who are so supportive of each other .... it only concludes that losing weight with or without band will always be a mindset - you can see it as a struggle or a challenge, you can make it till you reach goal n then give up or you can make it your lifestyle forever, you can stay in control or you can let go.. you will have the band but it will only be a tool but may be restricting you from eating too much but the mental fight will always still be the same. You will always need the will power, the inner strength, the self talk, the self motivation and band will prove to be a great tool. I am getting banded with realistic expectations and I thank all of you for sharing on this site whatever it may be you are going through. Lets all use this Lap Band to our advantage, lets all follow the rules, lets all turn our life around and lets all get healthy and happy

sexyvic

sexyvic

 

Its time to get serious..

It's amazing my relationship with food. I started the opti early to be all practive n optimistic with a shake a day and watched what i ate for the other 2 times. I started really enthusiatic with one shake and one hour walk but soon found to binge on the junk thinking omg I might not be able to eat it again in the fear it may get stuck lol... I would find myself after 2 shakes a day ask my hubby to take me to my fav indian rest for a meal saying this may be my last supper and i enjoyed it sooo much. then again doing 2 optis n having my fav cheese n onion toastie for dinner love it so much made another one...then again 2 shakes a day but home made tacos for dinner one night make it 4 tacos! I did 2 shakes yesterday and was so good but had headaches n felt weak so i had a can of coke cos I couldnt concentrate on a learn to use your dslr camera course then i was so dieing for some food n got some healthy entree from a tak away place with some nice spices in it .. soon to find we get a call from our friends to go to their fav pizza place, we are sorta new in perth and making friends slowly along the way.. so an invitation to go out and we jump up with joy.. anyways 4 slices of veg pizza n another can of coke later and i found myself pack rest of the pizza to bring home which i finished after we got home. did i like it ? i dont know! was i scared i wont get to eat again i dont knw? but fact is I ate it and since this morning feeling a bit of nausea! I had my last supper out today : breakfast at portofinos with my hubby. eggs benedict on a muffin bread with some asparagus n mushroom, quite healthy I think but not sure about the iced coffee! My hubby and I have decided we will not go out for a meal/ eat outside till 15 jan 2013! Even though i lost a couple of kgs last week today My weight is back to 127.5kgs. I cant wait for my first little goal to leave the 120s and be 119 I just put some pics of me prior to banding and I am so looking fwd to each pic of me from today as I know for sure it will be of me skinner, healthier and happier! I know this time its real ,from tomorrow I HAVE TO START THE OPTI for 2 weeks prior to surgery which surgeon would like me to though the stupid dietitician is only book for 20th Jan, but I will use the dietician to learn more about post banding and hope she will be happier to see I am already strictly on optifast when I see her on 20th Jan. Wow my surgery date is not far away...31st Jan, 15 days to go..YAY!

sexyvic

sexyvic

 

Struggles

Things I struggled doing since I started putting on weight : 1. could not zip up pants or jeans cos my tummy was biggish n rest of my body small so odd shape.. i bought a size 22 jeans 3 months ago and it fits perfect on my tummy but rest of it is SO big, I cant wait to have a decent pair of fitting jeans in my wardrobe. 2. I hated my wardrobe and then i loved it cos of yo yo I had clothes size from 12 to 26~! I had to get rid of all the clothes, cos i was tired nothing fitting me in my wardrobe, then pregger so got some big clothes..I donated all my clothes upto size 18. Currently own 18 - 26! But only wear the 24 and 26 dark tops with black tights 3 types of them I own. everyday! people commented how i always only wear dark clothes!! All tights have elastic band so work well. Although I think I am size 22 in most places except for my tummy may be size 23! 3. since clothes didnt fit me well, i spent most of my money on artifical funky jwellery, shoes and handbags. I donated all the shoes high heel as i used to struggle walking in them and wont wear them cos of sore feet guess my legs couldnt take my weight. I own just a good 6 pairs but good expensive 6 pairs I can wear for most occasions and bought 3 pair of sports shoes with an intention to do lots of walking and get fit! I gave a few old handbags too but then with all the awesome handbags i have i need to feel good to change them and match them with my outfits so i dont bother anymore..but I bought an expensive coach bag which i use daily! 4. I spent a lot of money getting my hair done, facials, pedicures n manicures. guess I couldnt get to my feet easily!! i have messed up my hair having variety of things done to it so right now gone for a short bob to start all over again! 5. I spent a lot of money on makeup and body lotions n creams.. I am donating all the old stuff now or will chuck it! 6. We spent an awful lot of money eating out each week....looking fwd to those savings. I was always filling the pantry now just before optifast I made it a point to empty the fridge and pantry! 7. I have gone to the stage of taking the size labels of all my clothes... new clothes cos i hated seeing XXXL or 24 or 26 on it! but couldnt accept how fat I had got! guess was fooling myself 8. I cant just drop on the floor and get up. Its a mission getting up sometimes and i am always hoping no body sees me getting up with my hands supporting the ground to lift my huge self off the ground. 9. I sat most of the times and developed vericose veins looking painful thing in the middle of my both thighs where the chair fits. 10. I had to ask for an extension to the airplane seats a couple of times last year but most of the times I am OK. But that fear of knowing whether you will fit or not is not good. 11. I spot myself as the biggest one in the room sometimes or in the photos taken lately. 12. My hubby has to wait n walk slow to keep up with me in the mall as my feet a lot after 20 mins of walking sometimes and I tell him i will sit down n he should go finish rest of the shopping. 13. I am almost scared to bend down sometimes and go on my knees like support my weight on my toes if u knw what i mean 14. FOOD is the only thing that gets me super duper excited and makes me happy. I hate the way I have let food control me and my mood and my happiness but then after a big or a nice meal I feel so tired n lethargic. There has to be things that make me happy other than food! 15. I am SO conscious of my belly sticking out most of the times! 16. It has taken a long time for me to accept that I have a problem! its called morbid obesity. No matter how fat I have been I could do aerobics, run , dance for hours, jump up n down, I never let my weight get in the way to have a good time. I even went the other day to the kids park and and used the swing and played on all equipment there!!! I was always told I have a fab stamina for my weight or size but I think over last 2- 3 years I have slowed down and have much less energy.

sexyvic

sexyvic

 

My BIG FAT Story!

Hi I am Vicky! I am 31 years old, married and have a 7 month old baby girl. I dont remember being big as a kid, almost all the photos I have of me till 13 show me I was quite the skinny happy kid. When I turned 13 and got my periods I started putting on weight plus I think I also had typhoid and lost a lot of weight around then. I was 61 kgs when I was 13. I got a complex with my weight and started getting teased at school sometimes for being the chubby one. One girl was so mean she would say oh get ready here comes the earthquake! I have a sister who is 10 years older than me who was 23 then and only 55 kgs! I turned quite the tomboy and let her be the pretty one. My mum was always big and I have seen her struggle with her weight all her life. I got teased by my brother once when I was 14 he laughed so much and said your tummy looks so big. I started yoga and began my yo yo diets! I lost a few kgs. I remember passing out at the shops cos all I had was liquids for about 10 days, lucky the shopkeeper knew my family. My Dad bought me a really nice pair of jeans but the zip wont close thanks to my tummy! I was SO upset! All along boys really liked me.. Anyways I had my first serious boyfriend and on my 16th bday he got me 16 gifts, 16 cards etc n he started turning me from a tomboy to a beautiful girl. I used to be super jealous of him and other girls cos I didnt think I was good enough.. though he was so loyal. We got engaged in Oct 1996 and I was 65 kgs. We got married in Aug 1997 when I was 17 and he was 23. He had chicken feet and I was 72 kgs! I never knew how to cook but I learnt it all for him and cooked 2 meals a day everyday! I worked hard for a year and got myself back to 65 Kgs. Our marriage didnt work out and we seperated Nov 1998 I was 69kgs then. Skinnest I remember myself but always had the belly which I would suck in all the time haha! Seperation was a struggle and hard time for me but I knew from the word go it was all over and not meant to be. Even though I was hurting inside I decided to move on. Feb 1999 I decided life has to change and I will be happy no matter what I was about 75 kgs. I joined the gym at my Uni, joined some dancing classes at Uni, partied and studied at uni and worked for long hours in the evening. This is when my relationship with food changed completely I no longer cared for myself or to eat good nutritious food, I just did what was easy and cheap.. potato chips, potato wedges at uni for lunch,noodles for dinner etc and then save up to spend big on the weekend going out for yummy indian dinners. I lived in a hostel/ flatmate situation from feb 99 till dec 2003. I always had a lot of attention from Men, I think i am pretty and cute and fun to be with. In year 1999 I had some good times with male friends who really liked me and I loved the attention! Dec 1999 I met my now husband while at uni. He stood by me throughout my messy divorce and to be honest it was quite a messy relationship with him too, he had his own struggles! I always loved him and he always loved me and thats what has got us through everything...LOVE! TRUE LOVE! I started putting on weight after I met him cos I loved the fact that he was there for me and I was happy most times. we moved in together just after 4 months, he started living in my hostel and once we started flatting in 2000 with another friend.. we started putting on weight. Lived on take aways, potato chips and noodles and weighed 99 Kgs on my 21st birthday. 2001 was the hardest year for me, thsi was the year I got divorced and was the year I had many many ups n downs with my bf and also stress from my studies at uni. I joined Jenny Craig on 1st Jan 2002 after a friend who lost 30 kgs! I paid $500 to join even though I was a poor student but 2002 was the best year for me. I graduated in 2002 and I lost 26 kgs and came down to 74kgs So eas on Jenny craig. I travelled around the world after graduation and came home to my now four year bf about 15kgs heavier..I was 79kgs when my bf proposed marraige in July 2003. I started yo yo ing again to lose weight for my Dec 2003 wedding. I stopped carbs and most days stopped any solids completely and lost 10 kgs. I made a beautiful bride 81 kgs on my wedding day. I was happy. After the wedding we started from scratch financially or with a loan you can say, I was doing 2 jobs and I remember eating a lot fo bread with butter n cheese on it or avocado on it. I think bread and noodles are my enemy its not that I like it but tis always there lots of it and gets polished off. I was 97 kgs in June 2004 when we went on our honeymoon to the gold coast. Yup 16kgs in 7 months, no surprise thanks to the YOYO and no carb diets! I joined weight watchers when I got back but I could only be on it for 5 weeks I didnt like it much or you can say I didnt follow it cos I didint want to play $19 each week just to go get a weigh in arrrgggh! meanwhile i stopped my second job and replaced that with a business plus a full time job during the day. Yup hardly cooked once a week and takeaways and eating out every other day or easy foods like bread n noodles.. it makes me feel YUCK just thinking about it now! What was I thinking, I love to cook why didnt I ever cook regularly ?! May be its hard cos I am a vegeterian and my husband loves his meat but I dont cook meat and if I cook veg he eats but the veg he likes is not healthy at all so cant be bothered coooking for one thats my excuse I think... but really how bad is that!!YUCK! YUCK! We bought our first home in 2006 Jan and I loved cooking in the kitched but not for now as we sold the business and I replaced my evenings to studying fulltime MBA and working full time in the day. Dont think I still cooked much and it got harder with assignments n lectures so eat out 3 meals a day everyday! YUCK! I went to exchange study for 3 months and my husband who was also doing the MBA with me did it all on his own for 3 months. I was big at the business school but not so big must be 102 kgs and lost a bit of weight in those 3 months doing the ayurvedic medicines to lose weight I think I went down to 95 kgs. Then hubby joined me at my exchange study when we both completed our MBA and travelled around the world for 3 months, eating drinking and making merry. what a fab time we had )))))) yup came back home 10kgs heavier. I was 105 and then got a project overseas for 4 months I was big then and had missed my persiod for 3 months but not preg I decided to join a weight loss program there with the endocrinologist who said my prolactin levels were v high and may need an artifical inject to have a bleed/period but the same day he was going to give it I got my period thank god! I may be pcos and put me on metformin, i also follwed nutritionist and personal trainer followed that for 2 months and came back home to NZ at 98 kgs, felt skinner wore high heels got my logn hair dyed and wore nice clothes. Metformin healped me to stay same weight and lose more in Dec 2007 I was 91 kgs thanks to metformin! but then i started getting headaches and I stopped and went back to not cooking much n take aways n eating out but this time no excuse only 1 fulltime job but a motherlaw at home whom I hated! I went for a check up and scanned proved i had PCOS and hubby low sperm count which explained why we couldnt get preg for a year after trying!!! I put on n was 107 again on my 28th bday in Sept 2008. I joined Sureslim but didnt have much success and stopped it after 4 months cos the weekly weigh ins were not working n I had only put on weight each week or was the same. I was ready to give up on ALL DIETS. I think my body was tired of trying for a baby, of losing weight etc. I started travelling from work in 2009 and spent the whole year travelling from work staying in 5 star hotels and eating out and coming home on weekends to have feast out with the hubby n quality time still no sign of baby .. i started getting a bit desp! one of the ladies in the hospital health project I was doing told me abt SLEEVE surgery public list that NZ is trying. I went to the GP got the referral told her I had no luck in losing weight and I have pcos and I want a baby my BMI was 42 and I qualified. I saw the surgeon and met the challenge of losing 10 kgs went from 112 in Feb 2010 to 102 in April 2010 that was satisfactory weight loss to prove you can do it and have the sleeve so i finally was in waitlist to have the SLEEVE. May 2010 I got job offer to move to Perth with the same company and my hubby also got job with my company and we decided to move to Australia. They said my op would be in Sept 2010 but I was moving so they put me on hold. Lucky for me our move to Perth was a lucky one and I got pregnant on my 30th Bday. I was 112 kgs. Had a rough first trimester, then we bought a house and my parents came to help with delivery and we had a baby girl in June 2011. I was 130kgs at 36 weeks and after baby went down to 122 kgs but then put on 3 kgs after i stopped breastfeeding. I was 126 kgs when I took a 3 month break travelled with baby to nz, canada n usa to show baby to inlaws n family. I had a good time. When I was in NZ I saw my surgeon n nurse for sleeve queue they said I can have it in Feb - March 2012 throught the public system. I was so tired of waiting!! Anyways came back home to Perth 19 Oct 2011 and went to the gp for my daughter and heard two ladies chat abt surgeries they had. one had lapband and the other had sleeve. I joined in conversation and found out I can have sleeve here. I had never heard of lapband before ever. She told me ask yur gp for referral n go to kevin dolan in joondalup he is good. so i did that and got an appointment with kevin on 1st dec when I saw him I was 127.5 kgs , 163 cms with BMI of 47! DANGEROUS! He said if I want more kids I should have lapband. I had no clue what it was and we do want more kids for sure. So I signed up to ahve the surgery on 31st Jan. Meanwhile I did lots of research on lapband heard a lot of good n bad things and then got a call from NZ to say my surgery will be on 10th Jan 2012 in NZ for Sleeve and to see dietician on 15th dec. WORST time from 13 dec till 4 Jan when I asked to be rebooked to see my surgeon in perth as his office was closing early for xmas and I asked receptionist if i wanted the sleeve when could i have it she said 5th april was the next avaialble date. I kept thinking this sleeve is haunting me and thats why i have this call ?! Anyways I had to opt out of public NZ sleeve cos losgistically it was not possible though i could have made it work but i didnt want my daughter to be away form her dad on her first xmas and i didnt want to spend another anniversary away from him and not ring in the new years with him. but I was so scares I would regret opting out n not getting the sleeve. I got depressed over it and cried for days n was sooo down that I had to go see the GP on 31 dec to get some medicine for depression as i didnt feel like doing anything n all i thought was abt the sleeve i had missed out in nz. But when I got the meds I was told that you cant stop ti can had v v v bad withdrawal and that scared me enough to even take one pill though i paid $30 I did not take them and I have no intention to take any depression pills NO WAY! I HAVE to go back to work due to financial reasons on 7th april when my daughter will be 10 months old and i dont have a choice so no way i could get the sleeve on 5th april. I rang many other surgeons in perth and got their rates n brochures but they were all expensive 2.5 - 4.5 K which I know we cant afford right now so I knew I will have to have the band for 1.5 k is all we can afford honestly right nwo with me on maternity leave and I want to spend time with my daughter and heal at the same time with the op and not rush to work. anyways to cut a long story short I saw Kevin on 4th Jan who was so lovely he said do what makeas u happy sleeve or the band. I can do both on31st jan for you for the same cost. But he talked sense into that sleeve is irreversible and i am only 31 and want more kids. He told me the plus n minus of both ops and how it is same result in 2 year at the end. I have been in a hurry all my life and am hurry again to lose weight and is the only reason why i wanted sleeve plus quality of eating not getting stuck but then i have knwon ppl in NZ who had sleeve and put on weight again cos of bad eating habits n cos they can eat anything again but just small quantity. I have NEVER CHOSEN food. I always ate crap for the last 12 years of my life and hardly ever got myself in a healthy cooking and healthy eating routine so chances of me putting on weight are v high after the sleeve. Once sleeved u cant even do the band on it plus living without 80% of my tummy for the rest of my life doesnt sound right at all. So after all there was a good reason why i didnt get to nz for the sleeve and after talking to kevin and kylie whose one parent had sleeve n other band and how she opted for band cos she is so young n our chat I was just convinced I want a lapbadn and I made the decision to have the lapband and NOT the sleeve and this is MY DECISION and I WILL NEVER REGRET IT cos I had the option to have either and I chose the right one.. after wards my surgeon said twice belive me and trust me you are making the right decision to have the band. TRUST me he said again in the end. I walked out of his office a very happy person, well happiest I have been in the last month for sure. I have had my blood test today and the lady who did my bloods also had the lap band and she said isnt it wonderful to ahve the tool inside you to be able to lose weight anytime. So I just have to follow the rules properly and I know for sure this LAP BAND is going to work for me and I am going to make it work no excuses. The doctor reckons I should aim for 75kgs, my hubby reckons thats the hottest he has seen me post jenny craig 74 and he will be soooo happy if i can stay at that rest of my life. Well I always aim high and I think I always dreamt about being 55 kgs like this actress i used to like cos I have never been there even as a teenager! But then I know if I can get back to 65Kgs I would be truly happy. My ideal weight and my final goal will always be to be 55kgs. I want to be realisitic and take small steps so I think I would be on top of the world if I can be in 2 figures i.e 99 by the time I start work on 7th April that is a weight loss of 28kgs in 3 months, then further 10 kgs loss n be 89 Kgs on 7th June my daughters first birthday, then 15 kgs loss n be 74 kgs on my 32nd bday in Sept which I really want to spend in Bali or Japan as I couldnt do it on my 30th Bday Wish me luck, love and a lot of happiness with my BAND )))

sexyvic

sexyvic

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