Life has been a whirlwind for the past few months, so much has been happening in my personal and professional life and I feel as though tonight I have hit my limit and consequently I am channelling this anarchy into my blog for relief and your enjoyment or at least some night time reading.
A few months ago I returned from my usual Saturday morning Step class absolutely exhausted, I went to bed and slept for 4 hours, woke up, ate and then returned to bed for another 4 hours, again woke up, ate and returned to bed for the night. Exhaustion.
I eased up the exercise which has led to a complete absence of all physical activity as I just don't have the energy and have stopped calories completely until I see my doctor next week. 12 months of severe calorie deficiency has finally taken its toll. I really wanted to hit my ultimate goal of 60kg by now but that is on hold and I am maintaining at 63-64kg.
The band and I are becoming increasingly less fond of each other and I am fed up with the dietary limitations and unpredictability so my fingers are crossed that a surgeon will agree to revise me for all sorts of reasons when I see him next week, fingers crossed!
Work has been completely insane for the past few months as well which has substantially affected my functioning, now that Christmas holidays are here I am looking forward to establishing a new routine after I move to my new spot and become acquainted with my new town and workplace- got to find the gym.
I am really struggling to find peace with my new body at 63-64kg, I'm already wanting to have my tummy and thighs done. No thanks to superficial, moronic, self indulged boys not men - one of whom told me I needed to lose weight from my legs! Something I already felt true and didn't need to be said!
The plan is so see the doctor, get a revision - hopefully band to bypass in one, find my energy and get running again and get hot just to prove to these idiots. Then save for a new tummy!!
Just be yourself; you are wonderful
13 months since my journey began and I've ditched over 38kg.
I'm noticing lots of stretch marks and loose skin which is losing it's elasticity.
Also my head is not believing the mirror - I'm struggling to accept a positive attitude towards myself - who'd have thought that it'd be so hard??
WOW! What a year it has been.
It's just ticked over to my 1st fit-versary - a term I coined to celebrate the anniversay of the day I decided to get healthy. Here are some accomplishments I've achieved since September 2014....
- Running: I joined my school's running group this year. If you had told me last year that I'd love running I would've laughed at you!! So far I have completed 3 races!! 2x 5km runs (local run and Orroroo) and then 10km in the Gold Coast. Planning is underway for 2016 so stay tuned.....
- Sports in general: This year I have tried to give everything a good go, leading to my first Grand Final ever playing AFL in Broken Hill. I've also dabbled with social basketball, gotten back on my bicycle, bushwalking and finally getting good use of my gym membership.
-My buddy the band: We have a love-hate relationship at times, it certainly hasn't been easy and it really is a tool not the solution. I'm still learning to live with it, I make mistakes and get frustrated but I am committed to never going back to where I was.
- Most importantly, I feel in control of my life, I'm so healthy and really am very happy!
Picture below: Left:Footy Ball June 2015 @ 66.9kg Right: Basketball Ball Sept 2014 @101.8kg
Other photo: stoked to have completed the 10km Gold Coast run 2015
I hit rock bottom at 24 years old, 158 cm tall and 101.8 kg a size 18 - 20... I was disappointed that I'd let myself go. It's not that I was living in a cloud, I have always been aware and conscious of my weight, I had tried to exercise and lose weight which I could never sustain.
That day, early September 2014 I decided that was it, it was time to change my ways before I faced a premature death. I was sick of being the fat one!!
I have been deeply inspired and supported by a wonderful friend, it was not long after this day I rang her and said that I wanted to have a band put in. She never judged nor criticized me for she herself had walked the same road.
The first picture is me at 96 kg, I'd lost about 6 kg prior to that photo being taken.
I was banded on 16/12/14 at 77.8 kg. The second picture shows my incisions 1 day after surgery and the third picture reveals how faint my incisions are 14 days post operation.
I've had a marvellous recovery, started walking quite early on and have (not so) gradually increased the intensity to now include light strength training, cycling and long walks!!
Today, on the 30/12 I weigh 75.3, I'm very excited that I'm (only) 13 - 15 kg from an ideal weight of 60kg - haven't weighed that since early high school I reckon!
Here's to a happy and healthy 2015 and beyond!!