Day One and the beginning of my renovation / spring clean begins. That is how I described it to the psych at my appt today. Interesting session including a tear.
Started Optifast and gag gag! 2 weeks is going to be a challenge. Had the bar this morning and ate it across b/fast & lunch. Did the pumpkin soup and practically vomitted on first mouthful so chucked it out. Did the cafe shake tonight and gosh it is sickly sweet.
That is my punishment for all the overly indulgent crap I have let pass through my lips.
As depressing as it is that have to resort to WLS, I am hoping can get through this month and be banded and recovered from surgery so can focus on weight loss and dealing with my head issues that need to fix for life so that adopt a healthier way of living.
I truly hope the band will give me the inspiration to get it right this time. I don't want to fail yet again. That is my biggest fear of all. Psych asked me if had any worries / fears and couldn't think of any - guess it was the ketosis haze as am feeling slightly vague. But apart from surgery fear of failing yet again is my biggest fear!
So at 104kgs and feeling my most disgusting and uncomfortable... have a massive job of shifting around 40 kgs!
I hope I can continuously find the inspiration I need here so that I can inspire others and find the motivation to see this journey to the end for the first and last time.
Aim is to never diet again but adopt a healthier way of life, which includes exercise (lord help me!). Anyway one step at a time.
20th August here we come.