Today is day 4 of Optifast. I haven't had anymore shakes since I started, I'm living on the bars. I've been pretty good at sticking to it, I guess. I had Tafe on Thursday night and my lecturer chucked lollies at us to "keep us awake" and I didn't want to speak up and say no thanks I'm on a diet, so I just took them and ate them, naughty naughty. Oh well.
Last night I just couldn't face another sweet bar so I made some cabbage with garlic and had a lean steak, I hope that is okay because it was the BEST thing I have EVER tasted hahaha. I had to do the grocery shopping today and I got abit unhappy because I know what the next 3.5 weeks holds for me. I know I'll only be able to drink this and that and that upsets me! I know I need to stop thinking about food so seriously. I mean that's why I'm in this position, because food is basicly my life! Everything revolves around food. I hope I can change my mind set!
My mums support of me is abit up and down, I don't know if I'm too sensitive or if she's just being a bitch. I talk about how fat and disgusting I am and talk about how I can't wait to be a normal size and she tells me to shut up because she's sick of hearing it. Being fat consumes my life. I'd liken it to my thinking about how fat I am as many times as a man thinks about sex. So, it's kind of a big deal, to me anyway. I don't think theres many people who understand the extent that being fat rules my life.
So I am excited and am wishing away the next four weeks so that I can be pain free and onto mushies!
Peace, Love & Decaf Coffee,