To celebrate becoming overweight yesterday (obese again today of course. I'll be bouncing around for a while before I become permanently "overweight".) I thought I'd write a new blog. I'll say it straight up for those with more sensitive sensibilities ... this will have a LOT of TMI. If that's not for you, just look at the pictures and move on. For those a little more robust, read on.
So ... I knew when I began this adventure that I'd go through a lot of exciting changes. I knew I'd get fitter and stronger and healthier. I knew I'd become smaller and that my shape would change. I knew my skin would get saggy and I'd start to develop wrinkles. I knew people would treat me differently. I knew I'd be able to shop in the 'normal' stores for clothing. I knew I'd eventually only take up one seat on public transport. All these things I expected but there have been things happen to me that were totally unexpected.
Some of them pleasant, like being able to cross my legs and paint my own toenails again. My feet shrunk enabling me to buy a wider variety of shoes. (Even so, I tend to wear only two pairs of shoes day in and day out.)
Some things were just surprising. Like, I just stopped eating rice, pasta and potatoes and quit soft drink, AND, haven't missed them. I only eat bread when I'm out ... I don't buy it for home. (I buy mountain bread for wraps.) I've developed new food obsessions like dates, prunes, spinach, seafood and ricotta. Plain greek yogurt tastes like delicious sweet cream to me. I get cravings for hot chips.
Some of the changes haven't been so welcome however. They range from mildly annoying, like friends avoiding me because they've become the fat friend and don't like it, and a bloke I'd been seeing for a while beginning to see me less and less the smaller I got. Clearly he was only into big girls. I'd expected my boobs to shrink and had been looking forward to being able to buy regular sized bras. No such luck. I went from a 24F to a 16I. It's so far been impossible to find a bra in that size so I'm making do with 16H's. I'd expected my back pain to decrease as I lost weight but no such luck there either. It's actually gotten worse. My theory is it's because my boobs haven't shrunk in proportion to the rest of my body so I'm now carrying around comparatively larger boobs on a smaller frame.
Now ... here's a few very unpleasant things no one told me would happen when I lost a massive amount of weight:
- When I get in the bath now, whilst it's awfully lovely that my hips don't touch the sides, and it's somewhat amusing poking at my floating saggy skin, it's absolutely NOT pleasant that I don't have enough padding on my butt anymore so to sit up in the bath, rather than lay down, is really quite painful on my tailbone.
- I sleep in just undies as I find any other clothing too restrictive. Now, because my boobs are so unbelievably saggy, when I roll over I have to physically pick up my boobs and pull them out from under my body. If I keep losing weight I'm sure I'll be able to actually wrap my boobs around my body like a belt. Also, before losing weight, when I put on a bra it was a simple matter of just lifting each boob into place. Now I have to lift each boob into the bra, pull in my side boobs and then FOLD my boobs out from the centre. Ridiculous ! (But at least now I have separation between my boobs instead of that bloody awful squished together cleavage which was really just one more place to accumulate sweat.)
- Oh, speaking of separation ... no one told me I'd have to wear 3 bras to the gym. One regular underwire bra, then a pancake sports bra, then a crop top. I do this because if I don't separate these babies (with the underwire) and then squish them (with the pancake sports bra) when I do any kind of cardio my boobs slap together. LOUDLY. It's terribly embarrassing trying to pretend I can't hear that loud slapping noise and pretending to myself that no one else can hear it either ... from 4 suburbs away. Even so, I still get a bit of a swing and bounce going on. At least it's all visual now with no accompanying sound track.
- Another saggy skin issue ... I've had to modify my moves in the bedroom to avoid the distracting slapping of my belly against my thighs/the blokes belly and my arms flapping against my sides.
- I have a thigh gap. Yay huh ? Well, yes and no. Sure there's a gap at the top of my thighs and it's seriously fantastic that my thighs, for the first time in my life, don't rub together BUT, cause I've lost so much weight the skin on my thighs has drooped. So now instead of my thighs rubbing together, the insides of my knees bump together because that's where the skin has fallen to.
- Slowly slowly as I lost more and more weight, my map of Tassie began to reappear. That was nice. What wasn't so nice was noticing that with the combination of visible map of Tassie and thigh gap, I can now see my arse sagging down ... from the front. No one wants to see that.
- Whilst we're on the subject of my saggy arse, when I sit on a hard surface ... I don't even know how to describe it ... my butt cheeks fold up ... like, fold in on themselves vertically. It's uncomfortable, sometimes painful, and let's be honest ... a bit creepy.
- Finally, speaking of 'cheeks', it brings me to perhaps the most frikking awful and humiliating thing that's happened to me, and thank goodness it only lasted a few months and has now cleared up on it's own as I've lost more weight because I felt like I was going to literally lose my mind over it because it was so disgusting. I think it must have been a temporary transitioning issue. *big sigh*. I began to have problems with my weeing department. Apart from the fact that because I've lost so much fat which means my bladder isn't supported how it used to be (or some mumbo jumbo) I now occasionally have trouble weeing (I have to push it out sometimes and other times can only manage a slow trickle), I went through a period of a few eternally looooong months where ... man, I don't even know how to put this ... I'll just say it straight out ... I lost so much weight that EVERYTHING has become saggy to some degree and my (as my family politely refers to them) vagina cheeks, lost some of their once fullness and temporarily became somewhat saggy to the point where every.single.time I wee'd they interrupted the flow in a way that made me spray urine all over the tops of my inner thighs. I tried sitting different ways, I tried holding my thighs up out of the way of the spray, leaning forward, leaning back ... I was disgusted and extremely upset because I thought it was a permanent problem. Thankfully it cleared up on it's own and I can wee like a normal person once again but for those few months it was so awful.
Despite a few less than desirable changes as I've lost weight I wouldn't change a thing. Well ... I might change that spraying wee over the tops of my thighs thing if it were at all possible, or just have future me tell past me that it was only temporary and not forever. It would have made it infinitely easier to deal with. I've no doubt I still have more surprises in store as I continue my adventure. Hopefully predominantly good surprises.
Anyways ... here's some photos I took yesterday to celebrate and commemorate becoming "overweight". As my son would say, "Feels good man."