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To Tell or not to To Tell????

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Kaz77

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Just another quick question......

I have made the decision not to tell anyone, the only people that know are my husband and my best friend. I am finding it increasingly harder to keep it a secret from family. WHats your feed back on telling people, I thnk I would only feel comfortable telling my immediate family if i haveto!!!

Is it important to have that support afterwards. I am just worried about people being negative about it, i just feel that i really don't need to hear any of that!!!

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I feel like i'm in the same position as you (minus the husband part).

I think if you feel comfortable only telling your husband/ bestie and having support from those 2 will be enough then leave it at that because in my experience people have been negative about it, no matter how close you are to them.

I am only freshly 24 and still live at home, so i feel the need to tell my mother about it (because im living under her roof) but i am SO anxious to do so, when i mentioned it before she told me not to even think about it and she didnt want to hear what i had to say. Im booked in for april and to tell you the truth im petfied of when to tell her! Im literally thinking the day before so she cant stop me or try take me off the private health insurance or something.

I am very sporty and i have told close friends from outside sport (who are bigger girls too) thinking they would be supportive and if anything they have been the most negative telling me im being too drastic and if i keep chipping away/ selling my soul to my PT then i will eventually drop it.

Its your personal decision but what ever you do have a back up as to why you are loosing the weight because i assume alot of people will be asking when u start dropping the KGs and its best to not feel like your getting caught out if you dont want them to know.

Good luck!!!

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I told most people as I am rubbish at mistruths and deception. I wasn't going to, but it all becomes complicated with eating out, friends, children, why you need surgery etc. I don't care what people think. I am doing this for myself as I have a life long weight problem and dont want the life long complications that go hand in hand with that. It is not an easy option, it is merely a tool to assist your weight loss journey and maintain the result once you get there.

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Hi Kaz77

When i decided to get banded I knew from the outset that the only people who would ever know that I was banded would be my mum, dad and my partner. I tried to hide it from my brother and sister in law (who is an absolute cow) and couldn't, they just saw how slowly i'd eat and quite often have to get up during the family meal to throw it up that I had to come clean to them. I have been banded coming on to three years now and the only people who know about it are the people I have mentioned. I think you need to tell the people you live with especially if it is your parents because in the end your actions will speak louder than words, I can vouch for that because my actions are what gave it away to my brother and that cow I have for a sister in law.

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Only one person not on this forum knows - a girl who suggested it to me, a fellow bandit. I hardly know her but love her to bits for it! The weight loss is gradual and people have seen I make better choices with food so don't question me. If I was questioned I would just respond with 'I am watching what I eat' and leave it at that. I don't need to explain to anyone.

I also work in a field that is not supportive of this sort of action. I didn't even tell family, it's not worth the grief I would get. The support from the bandits on this site has been incredible, there are so many beautiful and supportive people on here - I have all the support I need :)

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Initially only my husband and of course my GP and staff. I didn't tell my daughter (who lives 400km away) and she only discovered it because it's engraved on my medical bracelet (the bracelet is for something else). I thought she would tell me I'm nuts but she is a year behind our Admin guy and she had seen him lose lots of weight and actually put me on to this site. Other than that no one knows as my weight loss is very slow and gradual. Other than people I haven't seen in a while, it doesn't get noticed but I did get a few compliments when i went to a Christmas party where I used to work.

I guess I didn't want people to give me neg comments if I didn't lose "fast" enough. Also didn't want any horror stories about someone's 3rd cousin's husband's neighbour whose stomach exploded as a result of this surgery :)

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My parents, sis and best friends. Don't feel the need to tell anyone else. It's a personal decision and journey, and no one else's business in my case! Good luck!

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I decided to tell people because I love attention. I also did a heap of research and was prepared to fight any negative comments (like its a easy way out, ha!).

I decided to tell people because at least 70% of the people I know 'diet' at some stage during the year and I wanted people to see my success and know exactly why. I also wanted to have people question me "can you eat that?"

A friend of mine decided not to tell me about her sleeve and when she lost all the weight she just told people it was from healthy eating and exercise. It annoyed me because I saw her eating bad food often (even if it's only a teaspoon). It was months later when I saw the scars on her stomach I was able to put two and two together.

Overall support from my family and friends has been great (and why wouldn't it be, you chose your friends and family usually stick by each other). My friends don't mention going to fast food places around me cause they know I really don't want to. They know I prefer subway, or a nice cafe with a good chicken salad and they don't question why I don't finish my plate, in fact they pick off my plate all the time!

People have stopped offering me chips and soft drink when I'm over their house now. It's making 'making the right choices' a hell of a lot easier.

It's each person's own choice but I think you may need a pro vs. con list to work out which suits you.

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i'M HOPELESS at secrets so my friends all know. They have mostly been great, and very supportive. Like any 'crisis' it teaches who your real friends are.... as for family? Refuse to 'buy into' , their drama. We're stuck with them and I just tell the scaremongers that it's their reality, not mine. Good luck!

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When the time is right for you to tell , you will know. I didnt tell anyone at first, due to fact i didnt want to have to deal with negative comments and people trying to change my mind. Also its a very emotional time for bandits before surgery, as everyone still has thoughts of should i or shouldnt I, however now 5 1/2 months into my banded journey, i know I have made the right decision and feel strong enough to tell anyone who asks or who is interested.

It really is easier to socialise with friends and family if they know and i think it also keeps you motivated and accountable. But only when you feel the time is right, just worry about yourself for now and not other people, so do what feels right for you. I wish you all the best.

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I told everyone. Some reacted negatively but I found that when I actually spoke with them about what they thought the band was and what it actually was they were better.

I find that having everyone know works for me because it makes me accountable to pretty much everyone. I think if I didn't trust the people around me so much I probably wouldn't have told so many people.

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It seems to be a very personal decision but I told everyone and continue to do so, I'm a walking billboard for the banding procedure.

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Thanks everyone, i think that everyone has good reason or point of view and i am just going to go with the reason of, I will know when the time is right to tell people. Go see the dietician on monday and then back to my doctor, fingers crossed that he can get me done fairly quickly. Going to buy some Optifast and get started on monday, they don't sell it where i live so will have to wait till i head into Toowoomba until i can get some..

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For the moment the only person who knows about what I am planning is my best friend and she was very supportive. I haven't told my kids about anything yet but may do that after I see the GP on monday for the referral. If anyone suggested to me that surgery was the easy way out I think I'd give them an upper cut :) Just kidding!

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