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Blog Entries posted by FreshStart2

  1. FreshStart2
    6-7 weeks post op
    Highest Weight: 108kg
    Current Weight: 92kg
    Total Loss: 16kg
    Highest BMI: 44.5
    Current BMI: 37
    Clothing Size: 16-18 and getting loose!

    Happy New Year everybody!! Well I just had the best New Year I've ever had. (Except the one when I met my fiance and lost my virginity...sssh!).

    We spent two nights down in Victor Harbour with friends who were visiting from Darwin and Perth. They have a pool, hot tub, sauna and tennis court at their place, so lets just say a fun time was had by all. There was cheese platters BBQs and LOTS of alcohol.

    Since I was fairly "good" over Christmas, I decided to let myself go for NYE, being good during the day (I had a pumpkin and feta salad for lunch), I indulged in the cheese and crackers, creamy pina coladas and a couple of handfuls of jelly shots! We left our son with his grandparents for the night so we could relax and have our first real night off as parents.

    We all dressed up in a "Bad Taste" theme, scouring the op shops for some terrible outfits. Had a lot of fun taking the piss and snapping funny photos. At some point during the evening we all ended up in the pool, I was so proud to wear my bathers this year, I'm a long way from a bikini body, but I didnt feel too self-conscious (may have been the alchohol) and my board shorts are way too big, they almost came off in the pool. We managed to squeeze 7 of us (two girls and 5 guys) into the small hot tub....and there were lots of roaming hands, which made for a laugh (nothing dirty). At some point during the evening, people were taking photos of the tower of jelly shots i had balanced between my boobs.

    So anyway, I really enjoyed myself. Probably a little too much.

    I'm avoiding the scales for a week, but I was 92kg yesterday morning, so I'm sticking with that for now. I had another pumpkin and feta salad for dinner last night, and baked beans this morning. Back on the bandwagon immediately and hopefully I can get off whatever I put on NYE in the next week before I weigh again. My next two mini goals:

    Crack the 80's in 3 weeks.
    Lose 4kg by the end of Jan so I can tick off 20kg lost.

    I am getting a fill to help me achieve this next Tuesday (as I realised exactly how much i CAN eat if I choose to). I think another ml or 2 could help. I'm going to get back to my morning walks, and try my hardest to be active during the day. I'd like to buy the dumbbells ive been wanting for weeks and start toning exercises for my arms. And Zumba start up again next week, which I'm really looking forward to.

    I also have to make appointments with employment agencies and hope that they can help me get a job ASAP. We have a wedding to plan this year and want to get our deposit together and start building our house.
    Busy year ahead. Goodluck everybody! xx

    Photo: Me and my fiance dressed up in our bad taste outfits.
  2. FreshStart2
    Start Weight: 108kg
    Start BMI: 44.5
    Start Category: Morbidly Obese
    Start Size: 18 bottom / 20 top

    Current Weight: 77.9kg
    Current BMI: 32
    Current Category: Obese
    Current Size: 14 bottom (loose) / 16 top

    I hate hearing the word diet now. It gets throw around too much. The dictionary definitions for "DIET":

    1. food and drink considered in terms of its qualities, composition, and its effects on health.

    2. a particular selection of food, especially as designed or prescribed to improve a person's physical condition or to prevent or treat a disease.

    When I use the term diet, I am just referring to the 1st description. A conscious long-term change to my eating habits, not a temporary 3 week obsession with calorie counting and starvation.

    I have just started the LCHF/Ketogenic diet. It is based around the principle of cutting out carbs and sugar, and replacing them with healthy fats. Avocado, nuts, animal-derived fats, olive oil, etc.

    At first I was really hesitant about giving this "diet" a go, as it goes against everything that we have been told about saturated fat. But what I've learned from doing research on this way of eating, is that previous studies about saturated fats and its affect on the body were based on people who were eating on a high/er carb diet. (I could be wrong, but I am still new to this and still researching and experimenting, this is just my understanding so far).

    My understanding is that I can either eat carbs, OR fats, but not both. I choose fats. Its tastier, and more importantly, it's working...for me. It won't work for everyone. I am going to be monitoring my bloodwork/cholesterol etc to make sure I'm doing the right thing and not harming my body. But so far I have lost 2kg in the first week, I have plenty of energy, no headaches, and I am enjoying YUMMY food. Its much easier to follow when you don't feel deprived.

    I dont expect other people to understand it. I still have trouble with the concept myself sometimes. Some people say that they got a band so that they could eat normally and not have to constantly worry about their "diet". For me this will never happen. I am not naturally skinny. I will never be able to eat whatever I want and not worry about gaining weigh. I don't understand how this could ever be possible after having been almost 50kg overweight. Its just a ludicrous idea, in my opinion. For the rest of my life, I will be watching the scales and watching what I eat to make sure I never get back to that weight. I just can't do it.

    Anyway, I have lost 30kg. I have 18kg left to go to get to my goal weight. Perhaps I could even lose another 5 after that if I choose to. But then I will be able to start slowly re-introducing carbs into my diet and experiment with how much I can eat to maintain a healthy weight.

    My goal to was to be a comfortable size 14 or smaller for my wedding. I think it's definitely achievable
  3. FreshStart2
    1 month post op
    Highest Weight: 108kg
    Current Weight: 95kg
    Total Loss: 13kg
    Highest BMI: 44.5
    Current BMI: 39

    Still stuck. Haven't lost anything in the last week or so. Very disappointed. If anything, I have put only 500g or so. Can only eat right and exercise (when it's not 38 degrees outside!) and hope that it will shift eventually. If I can't move at LEAST another kilo by Christmas I'll be really upset. Just 2 more kilos, I just want to move 2 kg by the end of the year, and I will be happy. At the moment I'm panicking a little on the inside, thinking that I'm going to fail at this. Maybe I'll just be one of those slow losers, or one that has to do 3 hours a day of excercise (god i hope not).
  4. FreshStart2

    I thought it was time for another entry.
    Its the 1st of April, I have 18 weeks until my appointment to give my measurements for my wedding dress. I'm setting myself a goal to lose 12kg by then. That's about 0.6-0.7kg A WEEK. I think its a reasonable and achievable goal. I would be happy with ten though, so I'm not going to be too hard on myself if I don't make 12.

    I have just bought myself a portion perfection bowl and plate, cuz ive been worried about my portions increasing. I have to have all my fill removed soon the have my wisdom teeth out under a general anesthetic. So in the meantime, I'm re-focussing on what im putting on my plate.

    Its been just over 4 month since my surgery.

    My start weight: 108 kg
    Surgery Weight:100.5 kg
    Current Weight: 81.7 kg
    Goal Weight: 60 kg

    My Start BMI: 44.5
    Current BMI: 33

    Overall I am so happy with my results so far. I feel much healthier, more confident in myself, and more attractive. So I've included some pictures of myself taken recently, just because I'm proud.
  5. FreshStart2
    Sorry if these first couple of posts arent very interesting, they are more of just a record of my journey.

    I had my second appointment with the obesity clinic GP yesterday. My fiance was home so he came with me for support. My stomach was in knots on the way there. Theres just something nerve-wracking about seeing a doctor about something so personal as a weight issue. I wasn't even that nervous to have a pelvic exam when I was pregnant!

    So inside, he went through my questionnaire about previous medical/weight loss history. He explained the process to my partner, went through all the risks associated with the surgery, answered the questions we prepared to ask, and did a quick exam (weight, blood pressure, heart check).
    Then he told us what we had to do from now. First thing is to check and see if our private health cover is high enough to cover surgery. We are going to Medibank today to see if we have to increase it, and check about waiting periods. I have my appointment with the surgeon (Dr Paul Anderson) at the end of this month, which will hopefully get me a date for my surgery.

    So nothing overly exciting, just another step on the road to recovery.
  6. FreshStart2
    8 weeks banded
    Highest Weight: 108kg
    Current Weight: 90.5kg
    Current Fill: 6ml in 10ml band
    Total Loss: 18.3kg
    Highest BMI: 44.5
    Current BMI: 36
    Clothing Size: 16-18 and getting loose!


    So I had my second fill today. Dr Sabine was very happy with my progress, having lost 10kg since my surgery day (in 7.5 weeks) and 18kg altogether. Since I have done well and didnt really feel like i needed one, he only put in 1ml. I've only sipped on water and up'n'go so far, but so far, so good. I'm really hoping that this will be my "sweet spot" since I felt great and not hungry before, but felt I was able to eat a little too quickly. I don't WANT a stuck or PB moment, but I feel like if it happens, it might help make me remember to slow down, and also to not let my portions size increase any, i think they have slowly been creeping up, even if it is just salad.

    I couldn't be happier with my progress at the moment and I finally feel like I have found a tool to help me lose and KEEP OFF the weight. I think I've found what "works" for me, at least for now. I spoke to Dr Sabine about the rules and whether or not I should always have breakfast or only eat when I'm hungry, and he basically said he could tell me about lots of things that work for other people but at the end of the day, I have to find out what works for ME. And what's working for me is not having carbs (bread, pasta, rice, usually potato) after lunchtime. I also have the odd treat here and there, mostly leftover Christmas chocolate, and I'm still losing, so I'm happy. I know at some point I will plateau, but right now I have high hopes of reaching my goal weight before the end of the year. Or certainly before my wedding next year.

    I just really REALLY need to get a job so I can help pay for our wedding, and hopefully be able to put some away to have the arm skin removed later this year. But we'll see I guess. One step at a time!

    For now I'll just be happy to get to 88kg by the end of the month. That will get me to my mini goal of 20KG LOST! I'm going to reward myself by getting my hair done.
  7. FreshStart2
    3 weeks post op
    Highest Weight: 108kg
    Current Weight: 94.5kg
    Total Loss: 13.5kg
    Highest BMI: 44.5
    Current BMI: 39


    Just a bit of an update. I'm down to just under 95kg which I am SO happy about. I would really like to lose that 4.5kg in the next few weeks and begin the New Year at 90kg. I may have to start my exercise again. I have been lacking in energy lately, so adding my exercise back in, should help perk me up. I'm taking the Band Buddy Nutrichews morning and night, although I did have to set reminders on my phone, because I kept forgetting. My incisions have healed nicely but still have some sticky bandages on. Will leave them off next time they fall off. My port gets a bit tender still if i lay the wrong way or do too much lifting during the day...but I have a 1 year old so that unavoidable sometimes. And it still (hurts?) feels funny when I hiccough. But other than that, I have no pain at all. My tops and jacket are much loser and more comfortable, I'm down to a size 16 in Emerson (BIG W) jeans, and even they are starting to become lose, will have to get my belt out again.

    People are commenting on my weight loss, although they are aware of how much I've lost, because I announce it on facebook every couple of kilos lol. I'm just saying I'm continuing with Optifast, nobody knows about the band. I don't like talking about how I'm doing it because I feel a little dishonest saying I'm just dieting. I think my sister, who is also trying to lose weight, and doing a great job, is a little bit puzzled as to how I've lost more weight than her in a shorter time-frame. She is in the low 70s, so she doesn't have to worry about me catching up for a while, but I know when I do, she is going to get really nervous lol. I can't wait.

    I am due to get my first fill tomorrow, although he didn't say how much he was going to put in. My hunger during the day is almost nothing, and I'm still only eating just over half a cup at mealtimes, so I don't actually feel like I need a fill? I don't want him to put it in just for the sake of it. Having said that, sometimes I feel like I COULD eat more, but I'm listening to my body and stopping when I feel satisfied, like I never have done before. I'm learning it's okay and also sometimes NECESSARY to leave food on your plate. And now I have my dog back, I don't feel so bad about wastage, cuz he eats the leftovers.

    The only time I really struggle with head hunger is around 8-9pm when my little one is in bed, my hubby is away at work, and I'm just bored watching TV. Last night I struggled knowing that I had my famous homemade shortbread in the house. I ate two pieces yesterday. I'm not craving them this morning but I know tonight I will want one. Ive put them out of my immediate sight. Tonight if I feel like one, I'm going to make myself a cup of tea, maybe a low fat chai latte for that sweetness, and then see if I still want one. If I still want one, I'll turn off the TV and go and read my book. This usually works because I get so involved in the story that I forget about everything else, including sleep! lol. I refuse to throw them out or give them away because I want to train myself to resist temptation. There is also a bar of chocolate in the fridge that I admit, I haven't been that interested in, so I think its just the novelty of having these biscuits in the house, that I only make once a year. They are special and represent Christmas to me.

    I think another reason why we become addicted to some foods, is that they hold a special place in our hearts because they hold memories. Whether its the memory of Christmas as a child, or helping your mum in the kitchen, I think we all have special family recipes or foods that are hard to let go of. We just have to let go of the quantity and frequency, which is equally as hard.

    Alright well I'm going to go and get dressed, put the baby in the pram and go for a walk!! Get outside people!


    So I got 5mls put in, which seemed like a lot to me. But so, far I'm not having any problems. it was back to liquids for a day and a bit, I'm supposed to be on purees, but after some apple puree went down fine yesterday, I've tried some cottage cheese and chilli tuna and it seems to be fine as well Definately can feel the restriction as I filled up quite quickly, but remember to stop when I thought I should, even though there were only 2-3 baby spoonfuls left. So far things are going quite smoothly, and I can only hope it continues when I make it onto normal solid food tomorrow. I'm looking forward to real food again. Healthy food mind you, but real food
  8. FreshStart2
    My poor step-mum who flew over from Perth to help out after surgery has been up all night vomiting. I think she has the gastro that's been going around and I am really praying and crossing everything that I don't get it as well! I'm so paranoid. As soon as the Chemist opens this morning I'm going to go and stock up on whatever I can get for it, and I might get some red cordial for me and my son to drink in our feeble attempt to avoid getting the tummy bug. I know if I get it a week after surgery, it's not going to be good, and I'll make sure I go to hospital if I start getting sick.

    So paranoid and worried now...

    On a high note, I'm not taking pain killers anymore. Tummy is still tender obviously but I think all I need now is the occasional De Gas. Going to try to drink a lot more water today, I didnt manage much at all yesterday.
    I had some delicious pumpkin soup for dinner last night, although it was either just a TAD too thick, or maybe I ate a little bit too much, because I was just a little bit uncomfortable after. Last night was a big eye opener for me, as I watched my fiance and step-mum devour huge plates of food, which I would have quite comfortably gotten down pre-band, as well as the entre bowl of soup they had with me beforehand. They did admit though, that the meal was larger than they expected and would have liked, but still, I only managed a couple of spoonfuls of soup before I wasn't interested anymore. It was a surprise. But I guess that's the whole point of the band isn't it! i really think the next few weeks will be interesting and show me just how much I was eating unnecessarily before.

    Thursday is my Post-Op appointment with Dr Anderson, so I'm looking forward to seeing my weight on his scales, and getting a good look at my incision scars. If nature can see fit to let my skin bounce back and not be saggy, I promise not to care at all about the scars! Even the stretch marks! Fingers crossed.
  9. FreshStart2
    This is just a quick one to help motivate myself. Last week after getting home from our trip to Brisbane, I committed myself to "clean eating" and excercise for the next months, until I begin Optifast. Over the weekend, I've forced myself to do a minimum of 30 minutes excercise every day. I'm no longer using my son as an excuse not to go to the gym or whatever, I bundled him up in the pram and we went for a nice walk. I've been forcing myself to drink more water. I've put up inspirational posters on the walls and fridge to keep my mind on track.

    There are several around the house and they say:
    "Do not reward yourself with food, you are not a dog" and has a picture of a puppy eating.
    "Losing weight is hard, maintaining weight is hard, staying fat is hard. Choose your hard".
    "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" has a girl in a bikini on it.
    "Just 30 minutes each day", has a picture of a girl running on a sunset beach.
    There's a picture of a slim girl in underwear with an apple, standing next to a fat girl in underwear holding a huge block of chocolate.
    Another has a picture of a glass of water and says "6 glasses" to remind myself to drink water.
    and my favourite one is all words, it's by the front door and says
    "It will hurt. It will take time. It will require dedication. It will require willpower. You will need to make healthy decisions. It requires sacrifice. You will need to push your body to it's max. There will be temptation. But I promise you, when you reach your goal, it's WORTH IT".

    Whether you agree with these quotes or images or not, they seem to be helping keep my mind in the game and pushing me to do those things that I struggle to do. Im not a water-drinker, and I do find excuses not to excercise. Its good to have the visual reminders around the house where I can see them every day. Hopefully they'll inspire something in others.
  10. FreshStart2
    1 week post op
    Highest Weight: 108kg
    Current Weight: 98kg
    Highest BMI: 44.5
    Current BMI: 40


    So it's one week since my gastric banding surgery. I saw the clinic GP this afternoon and weighed in at 98kg. So I have lost 10kg since 1st October, 8kg since the beginning of Optifast (in the last 3 weeks). Happy with that!

    Today was the first morning that didnt hurt to get out of bed or bend down for something, so I'm healing well. The GP took out the staples from the incisions, and they are a tiny bit itchy, but it didnt really hurt, it feels like plucking hair out. I didnt get to look at them or take a photo before he put the sticky dressings back on.

    I've still got a pretty impressive bruise from when I was knocked out and in theatre. Jealous?

    Not doing too bad on liquids, not drinking NEARLY as much water as I should be. Have been drinking an optifast for one meal a day, an up'n'go for one meal, and I usually have soup for dinner. In between I'll have V8 juice, some drinking yoghurt or a small milo custard. Soooo looking forward to mushies, but the first week of liquids goes very quickly, and to be honest the first couple days you're so uncomfortable, you aren't that interested in food anyway. Well I wasnt.

    I've had vegetable and lentil soup, my cajun vegetable soup, homemade pumpkin soup, and tomorrow I'm making the potato and leek soup from the "Knife, Fork & Band" book.
  11. FreshStart2
    3 months post op
    Highest Weight: 108kg
    Current Weight: 86kg
    Total Loss: 22kg
    Highest BMI: 44.5
    Current BMI: 35
    Clothing Size: 14-16 (but still wearing old 18 clothes, weightloss isnt cheap!)

    I'm nearly halfway there! Just 2 more kg and I will be at 50% lost. This is my first blog entry as a "Yummy Mummy" instead of the not so yummy mummy I was before. I feel like I am well on my way to feeling like a new, attractive and fitter woman, and I feel like I'm earning that title, whether other people think I'm yummy or not. My hubby does so thats the main thing.

    I've just done 7.5km on the exercise bike after a few days of slacking off. I've got Zumba tonight so I'm nice and energised for that now. I dont have a lot to say other than I am very happy with my progress so far and even though I often lose motivation when my hubby is home or I plateau, I get right back on the horse and get on with it. Everyday is a new day to try and do better than I did the day before.

    My mum is flying over to visit for 3 weeks next month and I'm excited to go and try on wedding dresses. I would have loved to get down to 80kg before doing that, but I think thats a bit out of reach. I wanted to lose 6kg before Easter, I've dropped 2 of those, so just 4 more kg to go

    Bring it on!!
  12. FreshStart2
    Hi All,
    Just keeping up appearances (for myself more than anyone else).
    Yesterday I finally went back to my band GP for a fill. Whilst  have (generally) been doing well on Optifast again, after a bad week last week, I realise that when I am "bad", I am eating way too much for somebody with a band, as well as getting those hunger pangs between meals. So I bit the bullet and decided I need to be utilising my resources like I did in the beginning of my journey, and start seeing my band doctor regularly again for accountability.
    He put in about 0.75ml - to make an even 6ml. I didnt look at my weight as I only weigh once a month now and it's not weigh day! But I WILL be going back in a month's time to show him the progress I have made, and perhaps get another half a mil put in.
    Gym-wise -
    I took a naked selfie (from the back) after the gym the other day and realised I should be focussing more on my weight training than cardio - particularly on toning those areas that bother me.
    My stomach bothers me and I know I need to build my core strength with planks etc to help reduce that, but for now my focus is on my back! I genuinely HATE those rolls under the bra strap. In my limited 45minute gym time each day, I'm now focussing on the leg press (squats for my bum and lower back muscles), kettlebell deadlifts (lower back muscles), and lat pulldowns/support row machine (for my upper/side back muscles). If I focus for now on those areas that both me the most and see results in a few weeks (months), I can then move on to other problem areas such as my stomach and inner thighs.
    Has anybody  ever used a waist trainer and had any joy with it? I'm tempted to try it to train in but feel like it might just bee another money-making weight loss gimmick that you dont actually need. Might provide some back support though if I am to focus on those exercises.....
  13. FreshStart2
    Okay I don't know why I'm doing this. I've barely even started this journey and I definately have "Last Supper Syndrome". I can't stop eating! I literally just want to eat ALL day at the moment, even more than I did when I was pregnant. I was not like this prior to my lap banding consultation! I never just graze all day BECAUSE I know I have weight issues.

    Its so frustrating because I know I should be cutting back my food and preparing myself, not pigging out and possibly putting on more weight I'll have to lose later. Is my brain telling me "oh well, you're getting a band so you'll lose it later anyway"...?? Thats not really any excuse. I think it's also because my partner now works away from home, and he's not here to watch my eating and keep me in check. When the cat's away, the mouse will EAT all the cheese.

    I'm thinking about saving up over the next couple of weeks to get a gym membership, hopefully getting out and doing some excercise will be some motivation to slow back down and eat like a normal human being again. Should I start Opifasting now? Even though I don't have a surgery date or anything yet?

    I know what I have is head hunger and not real hunger but I just don't know what to do right now to stop it. Especially when the in-laws (whom i live with) stock their fridge with chocolates...literally a whole drawer in the fridge full of chocolate...wtf
  14. FreshStart2
    Okay, so Thursday is was raining and miserable outside so I didnt put bub in the pram and go for my walks. Today it started off cold and crappy but by the end of the day, it was definately nice enough to go for my walk. But I still didnt. I've also been binge eating the last two days. Nothing TOO bad, but still bad enough to make me feel guilty...

    So I've temporarily fallen off the wagon. I'm doing a U-Turn. Tomorrow I WILL go for both my morning and afternoon walks (provided the weather permits) and I will get back to drinking lots of water and getting enough protein so I don't feel hungry all day.

    For so long Ive avoided exercise, but since ive been doing it everyday, missing two days, or even one, just feels wrong now. I'm craving it. I feel guilty if I dont do it. I guess thats a good sign.

    Ive also realised I cant buy diet mousse or creme caramels as my good treat. I bought 4 the other day and i ate like 3 in one day. So I'm back to making my "muscle mousse" out of chocolate protein powder. it gives me that semi-sweet fix, is healthy and doesnt make me want anymore after. So that will be my dessert for a while. No more buying treats in bulk because I obviously dont have the willpower to stop after one. I have however, stopped craving the icecream that is in the freezer.
    Another good sign?

    So anyway, the point of this blog entry was just to document my setback and move on. Back to the grindstone tomorrow. Off the couch and onto the pavement!!!! Who's with meeeeeeeeeee?!
  15. FreshStart2
    So its the third day after the operation and my pain is becoming more manageable, I learnt quickly to keep taking my drugs. I have 2xprodeine fort and 2 de gas tablets at breakfast, lunch and before bed. They seem to help a lot with the gas pain during the day. Been able to more a bit more. The incisions are becoming a little itchy which is a good sign that they are healing. I'm running out of prodeine fort, however, so i will soon have to get onto the packet of Endone they also gave me. I'd been avoiding it because some people said it made them feel sick. But if I need it, I need it.

    I still can't tell whether I am starving hungry, or just have the gas pain? They are quite similar feelings. I'm also having some of those "what the hell have I done" moments. I have fleeting moments where I wonder if this is going to be one of ways I fail to lose weight again, but mostly I'm just sitting looking at the leftover spaghetti bolognese or lamb shanks my family is eating, and look to my up'n'go, and can't help thinking i got the raw end of the deal lol. I am currently sucking on a roast carrot from my hubby's plate, which i will spit into the bin when im done with it haha.

    All in all, I think I am recovering quicker than I expected, although I HATE feeling and being treated like a person who can't do anything. They wont let me lift or push or pull anything heavier than a bottle of water lol. I guess I just need to learn to relax and let them do it for now, because its not often I get to sit on my butt and do nothing.
  16. FreshStart2
    I snuck onto the scales this morning before getting in the shower and I'm under 100! Only just, but just under is better than Just over. So to date my weight loss is:

    108kg: Final Surgeon appointment.
    106kg: Start of Optifast
    100.9kg: Surgery Day

    I'm not really scale-watching right now, I'm just focussing on healing anyway, but I am glad to have cracked the double digits!
    The pain isnt too bad today. I didn't need any pain meds before bed last night, and the only reason I took them this morning is because we were going to walk around a little at the shops, so I took my prodeine fort and de gas. The gas pain has decreased considerably, but it still hurts to laugh a lot, cough or sneeze, so I usually try to hold my tummy during that. ive been able to sleep a little on my side too, instead of just my back, so thats a good sign.
    My son is at daycare today so my step-mum and I went to the shops and we had "deluxe paraffin pedicures" so for an hour we sat in massage chairs and had some pampering It was quite nice to relax. And I bought some size 16 (yay!) three-quarter jeans, and a new singlet and shorts for bed.
    Still can't really lift anything too heavy, or push a trolley, but I have about a week before I need to. I'm not really loving the liquid diet whilst everybody is eating yummy food, I'll be happy to get onto mushies, but at least its not just optifast.
  17. FreshStart2
    And when I say deflated....I mean I look like a deflated balloon.

    I'm really having issues with the loose skin drooping from my arms, thighs and belly. oh and of course..the boobs! I'm so happy to be losing weight but when I look in the mirror or have bare arms/legs, I cant help getting a little sad about the way my body looks. And I can't help thinking how much less I would weigh if the loose skin was gone.And how many dress sizes would I go down if it was removed. I can stand topless in front of the mirror, and pull the skin up and away from myself and see a nicely shaped little body underneath all that horrible skin (and some fat still).

    I really thought that losing all the weight would make me feel fantastic about myself but I guess there are still hurdles to jump through. I haven't lost as much as some other people on here, just 30kg, and I still have 18kg to go, so it will be interesting to see how I look at the end.

    I admit, I havent done as much toning as I could be, but I honestly don't believe that it would fix the problem anyway (maybe a slight improvement). And I cant afford to have the skin removed. With a wedding next year, trying to save for a house deposit and wanting to have another baby in the next year or two, I just cant see cosmetic surgery as a viable option in the near future.

    Having a lot of trouble this week with motivation. Ive been slacking on exercise cuz I just can't find it.

    Not really looking for any solutions here, just need to put my feelings in print and get it all out off my chest.
  18. FreshStart2
    So I had my first consultation today. It wasnt at all like I expected. There was no judgemental/biased GP waiting to tell me that lap banding was a last resort and I should really attempt other ways to lose weight first. He didnt make any negative comments about my weight or BMI, in fact he almost forgot to weigh me at all! I barely had to say anything, he said it all for me and made me feel very comfortable that its not something to be ashamed of. I just have the info pack and questionaire to fill in and another appointment in 2 weeks! Can't wait! Even happy with the cost of the procedure, I admit I thought it was going to be a LOT more. He told me the process would take 6-8 weeks to get in for surgery. Happy with that! Just hoping that my surgery will fall on a week when my fiance is home from work to look after me and my son. Fingers crossed.

    Hope the next 2 weeks go quickly. I just can't wait to get started.

    Starting Weight: 106kg
    Dr Goal Weight: 69kg
    My Goal Weight: 65kg
    Current BMI: 44
  19. FreshStart2
    I just booked in to see the dietician two weeks before my surgery date. I've got my Optifast ready to go when the time comes. Its still more than a month away but I finally feel like things are happening, after 6 months of waiting. Not to mention years of being the funny fat girl. Dont start the pity party, cuz Ive had a happy childhood, high self esteem and a devoted fiance. I have hidden talents and know im a good person and a great mother. But deep down theres always that wish that you could change just one thing about yourself. And for me its always been my weight. I always thought if I could just be a size 12 like most of my friends, my life would be perfect. Now im grown up and im not naieve enough to think that life is ever 100% perfect, but i know i can work hard to get as close as possible, and thats what the banding is for me. Its my chance to gain control of my hunger and weight gain. Im so excited and now when im out shopping, i cant help looking at clothes I'll fit into one day
  20. FreshStart2
    Okay I'm halfway through Optifast and I'm finding it okay so far. It hasn't been the nightmare that I was expecting from hearing other people's comments. I dont mind the chocolate or vanilla shakes my surgeon gave me, I'm not feeling sick or getting headaches, although I do get a bit dizzy when I stand up too quickly. I'm using the toilet enough, plenty of number 1s cuz I'm drinking SO MUCH LIQUID lol. Its like being pregnant all over again. (sorry TMI).

    Cravings. Yes I've been having them. But I know I only have them when I'm bored, like in the evenings after I've had my vegetable dinner and my son has gone to bed. They have been easy to ignore because I just dont have any high calorie food in the house. But I must confess to having a tiny lick of the peanut butter on my sons cruskits, or half a baby spoonful of his mashed pumpkin.

    Tomorrow I'm checking in with the clinic GP to pay for surgery and weigh in, make sure I'm sticking to Optifast etc. I'm going to ask him about whether or not I can have a "last supper" the night before my surgery, as sort of a celebration for getting through two weeks on shakes and veggies, and maybe have a couple things I might not be able to have post-band, like a bread roll. Now I don't intend to pig out, I'll stick to my small plate, but it would be nice to eat a real meal with my hubby before starting another 2 weeks of just liquids. I'm thinking of a roast dinner I don't think some lamb and vegetables would totally ruin my liver for surgery.

    As I mentioned in another post I'm really looking forward to getting this over with and losing the weight, but I'm a little afraid of what it could be like to be "slim". I don't know how to BE a slim person. I've always been the funny, fat girl, the friend but not the girlfriend, and dressed for comfort, not fashion. Obviously being engaged now, I don't have to worry about being the friend anymore But how to dress? As a young mum, I don't feel like I can wear what other 22 year old may be wearing right now. I'd love to be able to wear a miniskirt or some short shorts in summer, but I don't want to look like a tarty mum. But then I also want to feel young and happy and healthy and dress my age. Its a tricky one. I guess only I can make the decision to try and pick clothes that feel comfortable AND look good.

    I'm also a little scared of how other people might treat me because I've lost weight. If they treat me with jealousy and disrespect because I've used a band to lose weight, it will piss me off. If they treat me better, then I think I will be annoyed or upset that they couldn't appreciate me for who I was even when I was big. What I get some male attention? Ive never had it before, and I love my fiance with all my heart, but I would be lying if I said it wouldn't be nice if guys thought I was attractive. I'm not looking to meet anybody of course but it would be nice to get hit on occasionally to boost my self-confidence. I just hope my fiance could take it as a compliment to his good taste, and not as a threat.

    I guess this whole journey is a bit of an emotional mine-field, and with my surgery date drawing closer, I'm having to deal with my feeling about the future, the possibilities. Maybe I'm worrying that I'll have a bit of an identity crisis. Or maybe I'll just be the healthiest, happiest version of myself that I've ever been. Who knows. I probably should have hunted down a psychologist to discuss these thoughts with, but my surgeon only required a dietician visit and I didnt think I'd need one. I'll keep it in mind post-op if I'm having any difficulties. At least I can put my thoughts into my blog and get it out that way.
  21. FreshStart2
    Hi everybody.
    We're all moved into our own place, which has been great. But i seem to be having a bad run with my health. In the last month, my son got conjunctivitus, which I then caught. Then I got food poisoning one night from defrosted frozen leftovers. Then I developed the (probable) Carpal Tunnel. And this week my flu-like symptoms and gunky eye have returned for an encore of Conjunctivitus. Im going to my surgeon on Monday to get a date for my banding surgery, so Im really anxious for everything to settle down beforehand. I dont want my surgery postponed If I get sick right before
  22. FreshStart2
    Hi! So after having my surgeon appointment on Monday I finally have a date! I'm having my band on the 15th November. Im feeling so great. We then left for our holiday to Brisbane on Tuesday and we've been having a ball at Australia Zoo, Carrara Markets, and Dreamworld today. My hubby picked out a really nice bather top that i bought for myself so ive been feeling great. I think im just so excited and looking forward to the next few months of weightloss, that my whole confidemce and outlook has improved already. I dont even care about my fat arms showing in our holiday photos. Cuz im having fun and enjoying life with my hubby and 1 year
  23. FreshStart2

    I love all of the responses to my blog posts, I feel great knowing that there are people out there who think of me as a role model or something to aspire to. But I want to make sure people know that by no means am I the poster girl for lap banding. I'm not perfect either, and I'm not always disciplined. At the moment I have plateaued again and I lost the last 2 kilo by doing Optifast for a week.

    The other day I took my son to the play cafe and I had a huge piece of caramel cheesecake.
    Earlier this week I was up at 3am getting him a bottle, and while I waited for his bottle to warm up, I ate half a chicken sausage in the fridge. I wasnt even hungry, it was just there.
    Yesterday I ate two pieces of banana bread with passionfruit cream cheese.
    When my hubby gets home I usually lose the motivation to do exercise for about 4-5 days.

    I don't want people to feel discouraged by my posts or like they are doing something wrong.
    We all slip up from time to time The important part is to just put those slip ups behind you and keep going.

    You can do it!
  24. FreshStart2

    I've lost 30kg, and that is fantastic, but I still have 10-18kg that I want to loose to get to a healthy weight.
    Whilst I have been doing exercise and changed my eating habits dramatically to lose this weight, I don't think that I have probably put 100% in, and still managed to lose.

    I think I've now reached the point where I will have to really work my butt off exercising to shift the rest of the weight, and the notion of that is pretty daunting. As a stay at home mum, I can do workouts when my son goes for his nap, but it can be hard for me to remain "active" throughout the whole day. There's only so much washing and cleaning and playing you can do before you just sit down and watch Peppa Pig on TV. And if you do managed to get in one whole "active" day....you have nothing to do for the rest of the week. Especially with the weather being quite cold and often wet.

    I've been doing LCHF for weeks and weeks now and only lost 2kg in the first week.

    I think I have to start counting calories....yuck.
  25. FreshStart2
    Okay. I'm doing it. Next week so I don't chicken out. I'm after new, reasonably cheap ways to exercise to keep myself from getting bored and losing motivation.
    Monday when my son goes to daycare, after my morning walk, I AM, I WILL go home, have a quick shower, grab my bathers and head to the leisure centre to do some laps in the pool. I've never done it before but it will be a nice change. I love being in the water, I just hate being in bathers. Hopefully there wont be too many people there on a Monday morning!

    Thursday night, I am going to leave my son with my hubby for an hour and go and check out my first Zumba class! I'm excited but nervous. I am glad that it's only going to cost me $10 a week. I don't know how much people pay for their gym memberships, but at least this way I can just pay as I go, and I'm not locked into a contract or anything with a gym.

    I might need some encouragement and motivation when it gets closer lol or I might chicken out. I have to tell my hubby (and you all) to keep myself accountable.