Jump to content


  • Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won


Blog Entries posted by FreshStart2

  1. FreshStart2
    My poor step-mum who flew over from Perth to help out after surgery has been up all night vomiting. I think she has the gastro that's been going around and I am really praying and crossing everything that I don't get it as well! I'm so paranoid. As soon as the Chemist opens this morning I'm going to go and stock up on whatever I can get for it, and I might get some red cordial for me and my son to drink in our feeble attempt to avoid getting the tummy bug. I know if I get it a week after surgery, it's not going to be good, and I'll make sure I go to hospital if I start getting sick.

    So paranoid and worried now...

    On a high note, I'm not taking pain killers anymore. Tummy is still tender obviously but I think all I need now is the occasional De Gas. Going to try to drink a lot more water today, I didnt manage much at all yesterday.
    I had some delicious pumpkin soup for dinner last night, although it was either just a TAD too thick, or maybe I ate a little bit too much, because I was just a little bit uncomfortable after. Last night was a big eye opener for me, as I watched my fiance and step-mum devour huge plates of food, which I would have quite comfortably gotten down pre-band, as well as the entre bowl of soup they had with me beforehand. They did admit though, that the meal was larger than they expected and would have liked, but still, I only managed a couple of spoonfuls of soup before I wasn't interested anymore. It was a surprise. But I guess that's the whole point of the band isn't it! i really think the next few weeks will be interesting and show me just how much I was eating unnecessarily before.

    Thursday is my Post-Op appointment with Dr Anderson, so I'm looking forward to seeing my weight on his scales, and getting a good look at my incision scars. If nature can see fit to let my skin bounce back and not be saggy, I promise not to care at all about the scars! Even the stretch marks! Fingers crossed.
  2. FreshStart2
    I snuck onto the scales this morning before getting in the shower and I'm under 100! Only just, but just under is better than Just over. So to date my weight loss is:

    108kg: Final Surgeon appointment.
    106kg: Start of Optifast
    100.9kg: Surgery Day

    I'm not really scale-watching right now, I'm just focussing on healing anyway, but I am glad to have cracked the double digits!
    The pain isnt too bad today. I didn't need any pain meds before bed last night, and the only reason I took them this morning is because we were going to walk around a little at the shops, so I took my prodeine fort and de gas. The gas pain has decreased considerably, but it still hurts to laugh a lot, cough or sneeze, so I usually try to hold my tummy during that. ive been able to sleep a little on my side too, instead of just my back, so thats a good sign.
    My son is at daycare today so my step-mum and I went to the shops and we had "deluxe paraffin pedicures" so for an hour we sat in massage chairs and had some pampering It was quite nice to relax. And I bought some size 16 (yay!) three-quarter jeans, and a new singlet and shorts for bed.
    Still can't really lift anything too heavy, or push a trolley, but I have about a week before I need to. I'm not really loving the liquid diet whilst everybody is eating yummy food, I'll be happy to get onto mushies, but at least its not just optifast.
  3. FreshStart2
    So its the third day after the operation and my pain is becoming more manageable, I learnt quickly to keep taking my drugs. I have 2xprodeine fort and 2 de gas tablets at breakfast, lunch and before bed. They seem to help a lot with the gas pain during the day. Been able to more a bit more. The incisions are becoming a little itchy which is a good sign that they are healing. I'm running out of prodeine fort, however, so i will soon have to get onto the packet of Endone they also gave me. I'd been avoiding it because some people said it made them feel sick. But if I need it, I need it.

    I still can't tell whether I am starving hungry, or just have the gas pain? They are quite similar feelings. I'm also having some of those "what the hell have I done" moments. I have fleeting moments where I wonder if this is going to be one of ways I fail to lose weight again, but mostly I'm just sitting looking at the leftover spaghetti bolognese or lamb shanks my family is eating, and look to my up'n'go, and can't help thinking i got the raw end of the deal lol. I am currently sucking on a roast carrot from my hubby's plate, which i will spit into the bin when im done with it haha.

    All in all, I think I am recovering quicker than I expected, although I HATE feeling and being treated like a person who can't do anything. They wont let me lift or push or pull anything heavier than a bottle of water lol. I guess I just need to learn to relax and let them do it for now, because its not often I get to sit on my butt and do nothing.
  4. FreshStart2
    Day 2, Post Op. My incision wounds are still a bit tender, particularly when laying or sitting down. I'm having trouble distinguishing the difference between hunger pain and gas pain. The gas pain is quite bad at times, moving does help a little. My hubby has been pretty impressed and appalled at all the burping and farting trying to get the gas out lol. I had an optifast shake for breakfast, sipping half at a time. Ive also had a V8 juice. Finding it hard to sip water continuously throughout the day though. But I know I need to. Ive got a bit of a sore throat too, which I was told to expect.
    We went and did some food shopping (not for me obviously) and I felt totally useless. I couldnt push the trolley or even get my son in or out of the car. Couldnt even help pack the shopping bags into the boot. My Fiance has been amaxing, hes Being doing everything, dishes, washing, getting up to our son last night (which ive always done), even cleaned the bathroom. What would i do without him. My stepmum is flying in today for a week to help out so I will be able to relax a bit more looking forward to some girly shopping time!
  5. FreshStart2
    So yesterday was the big day. Sorry if my account is a little hazy or short.

    Thursday night I had my "last supper" with my fiance which was slow cooked herb and garlic lamb shanks, with mashed potato and steamed green vegetables. It was absolutely divine, especially after two weeks of Optifast! We had a beautiful night together and then set the dreaded alarm for the following morning.

    Got up around 5:30 yesterday morning, showered and got the little one ready to get in the car. We got to the Ashford hospital around 6:30am, so glad we were early because after we were done being admitted, the line suddenly got very long and busy at 7. The admissions lady gave me forms to sign, I paid my excess fee of $250, and I was given two wrist-bands with my name and DOB on them. We were then taken into a small interview room to speak with the Anesthetist, who discussed what was going to happen, where I would be going, what could possibly go wrong etc.

    Then a nurse came to collect me, and my fiance, who was still with me at this stage. The nurse got me changed into the sexy gown and painted my tummy with this pink stuff. Fiance was quite pleased that I had to strip naked and walk around nudie under my gown, the pervert Kept trying to poke me in the bum when she wasnt looking. She weighed me, took my vitals, and asked me a lot of medical questions. At this point our son was getting restless so my fiance went home to get him ready for a day at childcare, whilst I waited in a waiting room with a few other ladies, also waiting in sexy gowns.

    Finally it was my turn to be called. A nurse collected my bags from me, and put tags onto them so they didnt get lost. I was walked down a few corridors and was asked to climb into a bed where they rugged me up, put a surgery hat over my hair and asked me two more series of medical questions. They checked all my arm-bands and paper work and my surgeon and assisting doctor came over to say hello and explain would was going to happen. Then they left and the Anesthetist came over for another chat and place some needles into my arms. They wheeled me away into a lift and down lots of corridors and into a room where I was given an injection of some kind. The "gin and tonic" as he called it. The room started going fuzzy and I don't remember anything after that.

    To be honest, I don't even really remember waking up. I remember I was in recovery ward to begin with because they were waiting on a bed. I think it was almost lunchtime when I woke up. A few nurses came to check on me and talk to me, although what was said is a little hazy. Somebody then turned up to take me to the "high dependency unit" with a bunch of other people who were recovering from surgery.

    The nurses there showed me how to adjust the bed, call for them with the red button and access the things I needed. I remember asking one of them to call my fiance and let him know I was out and awake, although just as she was asking for his number, he came around the corner anyway It was about 1:30? I think. He didnt stay long as I was pretty groggy and very tired. My eyelids kept dropping as we were talking and finally he told me to get some sleep and he would come back with our son later so I could say goodnight. I went to sleep for a couple of hours. Instead of the compression stockings on my legs, I had these wrap things that would inflate and massage my legs. It was incredibly hot and itchy under there! and I asked to have a bit of a break from them for 10minutes around tea time.

    I was on a drip, on morphine as well and didnt have much pain at all. I didnt have any shoulder tip pain or nausea. After a bit of a nap, I sat up in bed and read my book for a while til my fiance got back. He came and went, and I went back to reading my book. During this time the nurses brought me water, soup, tea and this special protein juice to sip on. I got up to go to the toilet on my own and changed into my own clothes. I also had jelly at diner time but my son ate it, then vomited it up in my bed lol. Glad I didnt eat it! I wasnt all that interested in the fluids to be honest. I was starving most of the day, then had a couple sips of juice and soup and wasnt hungry anymore.

    The nurses kept asking how i was going, checking my vitals. I was given this breathing tool with plastic balls that i was supposed to make rise 6 times an hour. The first time I was asking to suck the air in, I started coughing and it was quite painful. It was supposed to inflate my lungs, and doing so caused a bit of strain on my wounds.
    They kept commenting how low my blood pressure was throughout the day and night, and at some point mentioned if it stayed so low they would think about doing a blood transfusion. I was ready for bed about 8pm, I shut my book and went to sleep. I have to say that I wasnt in a great deal of pain unless trying to sit up. They kept me topped up with the good drugs. I remember waking at about 10:30 to people running past my bed, I thought somebody might have needed urgent attention and went back to sleep. An hour later I heard the nurses changing shift, telling each other that "number 6 was gone". When my nurse came in to check my bloody pressure and offer me more morphine, I asked if somebody had passed away and she confirmed it.

    That freaked me out a little bit because it reminded me where I was. In a high dependency ward, post surgery, with low blood pressure. I'd be lying if I said I wasnt a little bit scared after that, and made sure I did the exercises on the breathing thing to inflate my lungs. The nurses woke me up about every hour during the night to check my blood pressure, at once point saying I need to put the oxygen back on as my stats were dropping. That scared me a little bit too. I think it was about 4:30 when they were happy my blood pressure was rising to a more normal rate.

    I think I woke up at about 6:30 this morning. I called the nurse to unhook me from everything so i could go to the toilet and get changed. I was offered a shower but decided to wait and do it at home. I drank my breakfast juice and sipped water whilst sitting up on my bed and reading my book until my fiance came to get me and it was time to be discharged. I spoke with the surgeon who said everything went very well, my liver was fine, he didnt mention anything about any hernia repairs. He also checked my wounds and was pleased that there is very little bruising. He told me to speak to the dietician before leaving, which i did. she basically just re-told me all about the liquid and mushy stages, then i picked up my discharge medications (Endone and Prodeine Fort, and Nutrichew multivitamins) and off home I went!

    As I said, is a lot I dont remember. Besides the pressure in my chest from the gas build up, the pain was and still is quite managable. I went in and out of surgery with no tears. Home now, ive been sipping on V8 vegetable juice, has a small bowl of runny soup for lunch and am trying to sip as much water as I can to keep my fluids up. All in all, the surgery for me was a bit of a breeze and I'm looking forward to recovering properly and getting into a regular meal-plan tomorrow. Its hard because I feel like I'm just drinking ALLLLL DAY!

    Well thats all, I guess Happy to answer any questions if anybody has any. Goodluck to those heading into surgery soon!
  6. FreshStart2
    I'm going to be using this blog entry to document these two weeks prior to my surgery. I'll update or "edit" it every day to record my food, feelings, or weigh in if I want to. Its easy than having a new blog entry for every day. This is just for me so ignore it if you want to, but I thought it might also help people on Opti come up with some ideas for their evening meals instead of plain steamed vegies, which are no fun
    START WEIGHT : 108kg

    Day 1:

    Breakfast: vanilla shake, 200ml water, 1/3 cup mixed frozen berries.
    Lunch: vanilla shake, 200ml skim milk, 1/2 banana.
    Dinner: small bowl of stir-fry veggies with curry powder for flavour.
    Exercise: 45mins beginner Zumba.
    Feeling: very hungry between meals and cant even watch food ads on tv for fear of chewing husbands leg off. Trying to drink 1.5l water throughout day. Feeling a bit on edge by bedtime.

    Day 2:

    Breakfast: choc shake, 200ml skim milk, spoonful dissolved instant coffee.
    Lunch: choc shake, 200ml skim milk.
    Arvo Tea: 1 whole, fresh tomato.
    Dinner: making a tomato and grated vegetable sauce with garlic and herbs, to put over grated and cooked cauliflower. "Pretend spag bol".
    Exercise: None, but very busy day.
    Feeling: very tired and flat. Still hungry but managing to ignore it, even when cooking for hubby. Not ready to weigh in yet. Felt great after Zumba last night, finding exercise really effective in distracting myself from my rumbling hungry tummy. About to have a nap (its 3:30pm). Slight inkling of a headache coming on.

    Day 3:

    Breakfast: choc shake, 200ml skim milk, half banana.
    Lunch: Vanilla shake, 200ml skim milk, 1/3 cup frozen mixed berries
    Dinner: leftover tomato/grated veggie sauce over pan fried Barramundi.
    Weigh In: 104.5kg
    Exercise: 35mins walk, uphill, downhill and flat. Brisk walk (with pram).
    Feeling: Incredibly happy that I've dropped 1.5kg in 2 days! Considering it took a whole month for me to lose 2kg with just healthy eating and daily exercise. Feeling less hungry this morning than previous two days. Hubby reckons I've got the ketosis breath though, so may have to get some sugar free gum or mints to keep that at bay between brushes.

    Day 4:

    Breakfast: vanilla shake, 200ml almond milk, half banana.
    Lunch: choc shake, 200ml almond milk.
    Dinner: grilled fish and vegetable kabobs, cooked on the BBQ. (Having company tonight).
    Exercise: 35mins walk, uphill, downhill and flat. Brisk walk (with pram).
    Feeling: Pretty good this morning despite the hot weather. No headaches. Only a little hungry. Trying not to weigh myself everyday, only every 3 days...Wondering if I should find some different optifast flavours or get some bars to have for lunch, just for something different. May buy some next week.

    Day 5:

    Breakfast: choc shake, 200ml water.
    Lunch: vanilla shake, 200ml almond milk.
    Dinner: garden salad on a small side plate. Big glass of diet cordial.
    Exercise: none today because weather was stormy. Walked around the shops a bit and did some vigorous cleaning.
    Feeling: Pretty good, had a tiny sneak peek at the scales last night (after eating my dinner and drinking lots of water) and they haven't budged too much, so I'm going back to making my shakes with water instead of milk, and not adding any fruit to them, at least til I can shift a couple more kilos. I'm also going to go back to just having vegies for dinner, no fish for a while either. I wasn't even that hungry this morning when I made bacon and eggs for my fiance. Fiance thinks he can start seeing some loss around my middle and had a few comments last night from a friend we haven't seen in a few weeks. Winning!

    Day 6:

    Breakfast: vanilla shake, 200ml water, half banana.
    Lunch: choc shake, 200ml water.
    Dinner: Cajun Vegetable Soup (recipe in pre-op recipe section).
    Weigh In: 104kg
    Exercise: 35mins walk, uphill, downhill and flat. Brisk walk (with pram). 6.5mins on exercise bike.
    Feeling: a little disheartened. was hoping to lose a little bit more by now. Will be ramping up the exercise but other than that I may as well try to enjoy the next week 10 days by having my allowed fruit in my shakes. Not feeling hungry at all between meals now, as long as I'm drinking tea and water. Only "cheating" was a couple of pineapple cubes the other day.
    One of the good things about Optifast is that you learn to recognise real hunger and head hunger. If I'm really hungry I will go for my shake (if its time), and if I'm just sitting thinking about a slice of pizza, or a steak, I know its just head hunger.

    Day 7:

    Breakfast: choc shake, 200ml water, half banana.
    Lunch: vanilla shake, 200ml water, 1/3 cup frozen blackberries
    Exercise: just spring cleaning so far today.
    Feeling: Frustrated. Scales still haven't moved. I need to stop weighing myself. Have a pre-op appointment with surgeon tomorrow to weigh in, check in and pay for the surgery next week. Started cleaning the house in preparation. Starting to feel my collarbones again Been lucky I haven't had any headaches or felt ill from Opti so far. I think hydration is the key. Might try to go for my walk this arvo since I didnt go this morning.

    Day 8:

    Breakfast: choc shake, 200ml water, half banana.
    Lunch: vanilla shake, 200ml water, half banana.
    Dinner: small piece pan fried chicken breast, cup stirfry vegetables.
    Weigh In: 102.5kg
    Feeling: a little better now I can see the scales moving again. IF I can get down to 101kg by next Thursday, I will be happy. But after a little perspective, I'm realising that even though I'm not losing as much as I would like on Optifast, I've already lost nearly 6kg since my last visit with the surgeon and thats something to be proud of too I'm 10% of the way to my goal weight, so there's something to smile about.

    Day 9:

    Breakfast: Choc shake, 200ml water, 1/4 cup frozen mixed berries
    Lunch: vanilla shake, 200ml water, half banana.
    Dinner: small piece of Basa fish with paprika, pan fried. Cup of stirfried vegetables. Cup diet jelly for dessert.
    Feeling: having a hard day, food wise. having lots of cravings today, so close to cheating and eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich!

    Day 10:

    Breakfast: choc shake, 200ml water, half banana.
    Lunch: Vanilla shake, 200ml water.
    Dinner: small piece pan fried chicken breast, cup stir-fry vegetables.
    Weigh In: 101kg
    Feeling: so happy that in total, I have lost 7kg! Was hoping to get to 100kg before Thursday, being that its only Saturday, I'm now hoping I can lose another 2kg and get to 99!

    Day 11:

    Breakfast: vanilla shake, 200ml water, half banana.
    Lunch: choc shake, 200ml water, 1/4 cup frozen mixed berries.
    Dinner: small (palm sized) piece of Basa fish, pan fried. Cup of stirfried vegetables with tiny dash of sweet chilli sauce.
    Exercise: stopped exercising for now because I think I was burning too many calories to sustain weight loss.
    Feeling: Feeling great. Not much to report. Feeling a bit blocked up (sorry) so I might throw some Benefibre into my lunch shake.Okay I have cheated a tiny bit today..oops. I had a couple bites of lasagne at lunch and I added a tiny dash of sweet chilli sauce to my evening vegetables. Feel a bit guilty, but I'm only human. I wish I could see more of the weight loss in the mirror. But it's there on the scales so I'm hoping for a nice healthy looking liver come Thursday. Only 4 days to go! Yikes!

    Day 12:

    Breakfast: Choc shake, 200ml water, nutmeg and cinnamon
    Lunch: vanilla shake, 200ml water, handful of dried dates (softened in boiling water).
    Dinner: pan fried chicken with "roast chicken" spice mix. cup of veggies.
    Feeling: getting sick of waiting now. Just want the next couple of days to go really quick, but they seem to be dragging on and on.

    Day 13:

    Breakfast: vanilla shake, 200ml water, handful strawberry halves, stick of benefibre.
    Lunch: (woops, forgot to have lunch!)
    Dinner: pan fried fish with paprika, cup stir-fry vegetables
    Feeling: it's my last night on full Optifast. Tomorrow I will be having the shakes for breakfast and lunch, and then I get to have my "last supper" before fasting for surgery the next day I'm getting excited! and nervous. I guess I should pack a bag huh?

    Day 14: (LAST DAY OF OPTI, WOOO)

    Breakfast: choc shake, 200ml water, half banana.
    Lunch: Vanilla shake, 200ml water.
    Dinner: slow cooked lamb shank, mashed potato and green vegetables.
    Weigh In: 101kg, hasnt changed according to my scales at home.
    Feeling: Feeling incredibly excited to be done with Optifast, getting a little bit nervous about the surgery tomorrow. I've already had a phone call from admissions reminding me to be there at the hospital at 7. I'm really looking forward to my fiance coming home tonight and having my last supper, how I have missed food, carbs! I haven't even packed a bag, I'll have to do that later. I've got my lamb shanks in the slow cooker and vegetable & lentil soup on the stove, but despite all the beautiful smells wafting around the house, I'm not really hungry. I'm trying to stay really well hydrated today and tonight to prepare for surgery tomorrow.
  7. FreshStart2
    So we had a rough couple of days. My 14month old has either Scarlett Fever (says doctor), or Hand, Foot & Mouth (went around last week at his daycare). So he's been a very upset and cranky little person, not sleeping, not really eating and crying basically all day.

    He seems much better today, except for the spots and rash, seem to still have spread a bit further. But I'm just hoping, now PRAYING that I'm not going to come down with any symptoms in the next few days. I'm so close to getting my band, its all paid for. If they postpone it now, I will be devastated. I'll have to wait til January because I'm not prepared to have it done any sooner to Christmas.
  8. FreshStart2
    Okay I'm halfway through Optifast and I'm finding it okay so far. It hasn't been the nightmare that I was expecting from hearing other people's comments. I dont mind the chocolate or vanilla shakes my surgeon gave me, I'm not feeling sick or getting headaches, although I do get a bit dizzy when I stand up too quickly. I'm using the toilet enough, plenty of number 1s cuz I'm drinking SO MUCH LIQUID lol. Its like being pregnant all over again. (sorry TMI).

    Cravings. Yes I've been having them. But I know I only have them when I'm bored, like in the evenings after I've had my vegetable dinner and my son has gone to bed. They have been easy to ignore because I just dont have any high calorie food in the house. But I must confess to having a tiny lick of the peanut butter on my sons cruskits, or half a baby spoonful of his mashed pumpkin.

    Tomorrow I'm checking in with the clinic GP to pay for surgery and weigh in, make sure I'm sticking to Optifast etc. I'm going to ask him about whether or not I can have a "last supper" the night before my surgery, as sort of a celebration for getting through two weeks on shakes and veggies, and maybe have a couple things I might not be able to have post-band, like a bread roll. Now I don't intend to pig out, I'll stick to my small plate, but it would be nice to eat a real meal with my hubby before starting another 2 weeks of just liquids. I'm thinking of a roast dinner I don't think some lamb and vegetables would totally ruin my liver for surgery.

    As I mentioned in another post I'm really looking forward to getting this over with and losing the weight, but I'm a little afraid of what it could be like to be "slim". I don't know how to BE a slim person. I've always been the funny, fat girl, the friend but not the girlfriend, and dressed for comfort, not fashion. Obviously being engaged now, I don't have to worry about being the friend anymore But how to dress? As a young mum, I don't feel like I can wear what other 22 year old may be wearing right now. I'd love to be able to wear a miniskirt or some short shorts in summer, but I don't want to look like a tarty mum. But then I also want to feel young and happy and healthy and dress my age. Its a tricky one. I guess only I can make the decision to try and pick clothes that feel comfortable AND look good.

    I'm also a little scared of how other people might treat me because I've lost weight. If they treat me with jealousy and disrespect because I've used a band to lose weight, it will piss me off. If they treat me better, then I think I will be annoyed or upset that they couldn't appreciate me for who I was even when I was big. What I get some male attention? Ive never had it before, and I love my fiance with all my heart, but I would be lying if I said it wouldn't be nice if guys thought I was attractive. I'm not looking to meet anybody of course but it would be nice to get hit on occasionally to boost my self-confidence. I just hope my fiance could take it as a compliment to his good taste, and not as a threat.

    I guess this whole journey is a bit of an emotional mine-field, and with my surgery date drawing closer, I'm having to deal with my feeling about the future, the possibilities. Maybe I'm worrying that I'll have a bit of an identity crisis. Or maybe I'll just be the healthiest, happiest version of myself that I've ever been. Who knows. I probably should have hunted down a psychologist to discuss these thoughts with, but my surgeon only required a dietician visit and I didnt think I'd need one. I'll keep it in mind post-op if I'm having any difficulties. At least I can put my thoughts into my blog and get it out that way.
  9. FreshStart2

    My hubby comes home from work tonight, and it's my last night before starting Optifast in the morning.
    I'm also seeing the dietician tomorrow so I guess its kind of a celebration, about my fresh start

    So we're going to have yummy San Choi Bow for dinner, put the little one to bed, get drunk on rum while we put on a movie and not watch it
  10. FreshStart2
    Hello All,

    I start Optifast next Thursday so I have been enjoying getting in the kitchen and cooking the last few days. Now I havent been scoffing down maccas and chocolate. But I have made a yummy vegetable pizza, and tonight a yummy vegie quiche. I even treated myself to some stickydate pudding and custard the other night. I guess these are my last meals. Not that I cant have them later, but...well...we'll see i s'pose.

    I've started stocking up on things I'll need post-op. I got some V8 juice boxes, some benefibre and some up'n'go vive (thanks to whoever told me about the lower calorie version).

    I'm going to start making soup during week two of Opti and freeze them. I still have to buy some de-gas and a chewable vitamin. and maybe some liquid nurofen. I've got enough Opti for the two weeks (i think) but i guess I should get some more for after the surgery. Anything else I need?

    One thing I do need is to send in my hospital forms!! I will fill them out tonight and send them tomorrow! I will, I will.

    I am getting incredibly excited. Its nearly here. I'm not really looking forward to the actual Optifast, but more so about the period of weightloss from then until....well for the foreseeable future. I found some size 16 black jeans that I bought and never fit into, so I'm hoping to be able to fit them by christmas. I'm an 18 now so I dont think thats too much to ask. I'm also really looking forward to buying some new underwear, ive noticed mine getting looser lately. Bring on the new wardrobe!

    EDITED: I forgot to mention I took some selfies in the mirror last night, wearing my underwear. Front and side views, I cant do back and I dont want my hubby to take them lol. I don't know how much weight I'll have to lose before I'm happy with look at my body like that, but I know a few areas that particularly annoy me. The fat rolls underneath my bra. My lovehandles and tummy, and my upper arms. Now obviously everything could shrink a little bit, but these are my problem areas. I think I'll be reasonable happy with my legs and bum after about 15-20kg lost To be honest there isnt much bum there, so I wouldnt mind learning some exercises to help shape that a bit.
  11. FreshStart2

    I did my first Zumba class this evening and I'm so glad I did!! I just loved every minute of it.
    Sweat pouring down your face, the burning in your extremities, getting the moves wrong and feeling like an idiot. It was all good.

    The room was dark. Just coloured laser lights, with no mirrors. Mostly older ladies or a couple of what looked like 13 year olds. There was nobody else my age in the beginner class so I wasnt embarrassed at all lol. We all looked silly together
    I guess the real test will be when I move up and try out the normal Zumba class, but I wont be doing that for a while. I'll stick with beginner for now, and up until after my surgery recovery of course. Maybe next year I'll work up the fitness to do the next level.

    So thats my new Thursday night fun fitness. I guess I can always use the same songs and practise the moves on my own at home for now. They can be a bit tricky at first, some of them, particularly swapping legs or directions etc quickly. But I guess as I learn the routine, it will become more natural.

    Anyway I really recommend it as a fitness possibility, and don't wait until you lose weight! Do it now. I was going to wait and I'm so glad I didnt. I cant wait to be a size 14 so I can buy some of the cool Zumba clothes!

    TTFN xx
  12. FreshStart2
    Okay. I'm doing it. Next week so I don't chicken out. I'm after new, reasonably cheap ways to exercise to keep myself from getting bored and losing motivation.
    Monday when my son goes to daycare, after my morning walk, I AM, I WILL go home, have a quick shower, grab my bathers and head to the leisure centre to do some laps in the pool. I've never done it before but it will be a nice change. I love being in the water, I just hate being in bathers. Hopefully there wont be too many people there on a Monday morning!

    Thursday night, I am going to leave my son with my hubby for an hour and go and check out my first Zumba class! I'm excited but nervous. I am glad that it's only going to cost me $10 a week. I don't know how much people pay for their gym memberships, but at least this way I can just pay as I go, and I'm not locked into a contract or anything with a gym.

    I might need some encouragement and motivation when it gets closer lol or I might chicken out. I have to tell my hubby (and you all) to keep myself accountable.
  13. FreshStart2
    Okay, so Thursday is was raining and miserable outside so I didnt put bub in the pram and go for my walks. Today it started off cold and crappy but by the end of the day, it was definately nice enough to go for my walk. But I still didnt. I've also been binge eating the last two days. Nothing TOO bad, but still bad enough to make me feel guilty...

    So I've temporarily fallen off the wagon. I'm doing a U-Turn. Tomorrow I WILL go for both my morning and afternoon walks (provided the weather permits) and I will get back to drinking lots of water and getting enough protein so I don't feel hungry all day.

    For so long Ive avoided exercise, but since ive been doing it everyday, missing two days, or even one, just feels wrong now. I'm craving it. I feel guilty if I dont do it. I guess thats a good sign.

    Ive also realised I cant buy diet mousse or creme caramels as my good treat. I bought 4 the other day and i ate like 3 in one day. So I'm back to making my "muscle mousse" out of chocolate protein powder. it gives me that semi-sweet fix, is healthy and doesnt make me want anymore after. So that will be my dessert for a while. No more buying treats in bulk because I obviously dont have the willpower to stop after one. I have however, stopped craving the icecream that is in the freezer.
    Another good sign?

    So anyway, the point of this blog entry was just to document my setback and move on. Back to the grindstone tomorrow. Off the couch and onto the pavement!!!! Who's with meeeeeeeeeee?!
  14. FreshStart2

    For the first time in my life I'm finally understanding the balance between calories consumed and calories burned through exercise. I'm completely addicted to "My Fitness Pal" and going for my walks every day I'm also looking into prices at a nearby leisure centre to see about making time for swimming each week.

    Today (Tuesday) is my "treat day" of the week, so I walked the 10-15mins (brisk walking) up to the shops, grabbed a couple vegies from the fruit&veg shop and had my treat. A chai latte and a small piece of cheesecake from Michele's (I did have to share the cake with my son lol). So to balance out my treat day, I extended my morning walk by another 10-15mins and walked the LONG way back home. I'll also be going for another long walk this afternoon. I think its important to have the treats every now and then, as long as I still do the exercise to burn off the calories.

    Thursday is the day I've picked to have a break from exercise. Only because it is rubbish day and it's too hard to navigate all the bins on the footpath with the pram. So on Thursday I will be monitoring my calories more closely and eating exceptionally well, as I wont be burning any calories that day.

    Monday's my son is at daycare so my walks are quicker, not having to push the pram. So I'm thinking about extending my walk again on those days. Then I'd like to come home, grab my bathers and go to the pool for some laps.

    Thursdays I also want to put my son back into swimming lessons, so that will be a little bit of extra exercise for me too

    I think I'm going to make myself a weekly timetable and schedule in my exercise to make things easier. I'm finding it much easier to MAKE time to excercise, rather than just going when I feel like it. I'm not trying to lose weight at this point, just preparing myself to make the lifestyle changes necessary to lose and maintain a healthy weight post-op.
  15. FreshStart2
    This is just a quick one to help motivate myself. Last week after getting home from our trip to Brisbane, I committed myself to "clean eating" and excercise for the next months, until I begin Optifast. Over the weekend, I've forced myself to do a minimum of 30 minutes excercise every day. I'm no longer using my son as an excuse not to go to the gym or whatever, I bundled him up in the pram and we went for a nice walk. I've been forcing myself to drink more water. I've put up inspirational posters on the walls and fridge to keep my mind on track.

    There are several around the house and they say:
    "Do not reward yourself with food, you are not a dog" and has a picture of a puppy eating.
    "Losing weight is hard, maintaining weight is hard, staying fat is hard. Choose your hard".
    "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" has a girl in a bikini on it.
    "Just 30 minutes each day", has a picture of a girl running on a sunset beach.
    There's a picture of a slim girl in underwear with an apple, standing next to a fat girl in underwear holding a huge block of chocolate.
    Another has a picture of a glass of water and says "6 glasses" to remind myself to drink water.
    and my favourite one is all words, it's by the front door and says
    "It will hurt. It will take time. It will require dedication. It will require willpower. You will need to make healthy decisions. It requires sacrifice. You will need to push your body to it's max. There will be temptation. But I promise you, when you reach your goal, it's WORTH IT".

    Whether you agree with these quotes or images or not, they seem to be helping keep my mind in the game and pushing me to do those things that I struggle to do. Im not a water-drinker, and I do find excuses not to excercise. Its good to have the visual reminders around the house where I can see them every day. Hopefully they'll inspire something in others.
  16. FreshStart2
    I just booked in to see the dietician two weeks before my surgery date. I've got my Optifast ready to go when the time comes. Its still more than a month away but I finally feel like things are happening, after 6 months of waiting. Not to mention years of being the funny fat girl. Dont start the pity party, cuz Ive had a happy childhood, high self esteem and a devoted fiance. I have hidden talents and know im a good person and a great mother. But deep down theres always that wish that you could change just one thing about yourself. And for me its always been my weight. I always thought if I could just be a size 12 like most of my friends, my life would be perfect. Now im grown up and im not naieve enough to think that life is ever 100% perfect, but i know i can work hard to get as close as possible, and thats what the banding is for me. Its my chance to gain control of my hunger and weight gain. Im so excited and now when im out shopping, i cant help looking at clothes I'll fit into one day
  17. FreshStart2
    Hi! So after having my surgeon appointment on Monday I finally have a date! I'm having my band on the 15th November. Im feeling so great. We then left for our holiday to Brisbane on Tuesday and we've been having a ball at Australia Zoo, Carrara Markets, and Dreamworld today. My hubby picked out a really nice bather top that i bought for myself so ive been feeling great. I think im just so excited and looking forward to the next few months of weightloss, that my whole confidemce and outlook has improved already. I dont even care about my fat arms showing in our holiday photos. Cuz im having fun and enjoying life with my hubby and 1 year
  18. FreshStart2
    Hi everybody.
    We're all moved into our own place, which has been great. But i seem to be having a bad run with my health. In the last month, my son got conjunctivitus, which I then caught. Then I got food poisoning one night from defrosted frozen leftovers. Then I developed the (probable) Carpal Tunnel. And this week my flu-like symptoms and gunky eye have returned for an encore of Conjunctivitus. Im going to my surgeon on Monday to get a date for my banding surgery, so Im really anxious for everything to settle down beforehand. I dont want my surgery postponed If I get sick right before
  19. FreshStart2
    Yay! Finally, after 5 rejections, we've finally been accepted for a rental. I'm ecstatic!
    As of Monday the 6th Aug, we move into our new house and away from the in-laws! I'm beginning my new healthy eating plan in preparation for my banding im looking forward to doing my own shopping and preparing beautiful healthy meals, trying out some new recipes.
  20. FreshStart2
    Really just for my own record

    I have my appointment with the surgeon on Monday, so I went and had my pre-op blood test this morning.
    My doctor never said anything about having to fast beforehand, so I was a little annoyed when I got there, to be told..."oh you've eaten this morning? Did you know these tests require fasting?"

    Uhhhh NO! Did them anyway, so we'll see if he's satisfied with the results or if he'll make me do them again. Would be handy to have all the information, but I cant blame him entirely, I had enough blood tests when I was pregnant to know I should have asked if it was required.

    But anyway. Its done. I'm taking my Medibank forms with me on Monday to get him to fill them out. Hopefully he can convince Medibank to reduce my waiting period. I know everybody says "October isn't that long", especially knowing that some people have to wait a couple of years for their bands.

    But I feel like I really need this now. I live with my in-laws, I can't seem to get a job, I have a young baby that needs me, and my partner works away. Sometimes I feel like my life is on hold and I need to do something for myself for once.
    I'm the type of person who constantly needs a project. If I cant have my own house t work on, be with my partner, or be in the workforce, then I need to be able to work on myself. I'm my new project. When my partner gets home next week, I'll get him to take some starter photos to put up.

    Anyway, thats my rant over. Seeya later.xxx
  21. FreshStart2
    Sorry if these first couple of posts arent very interesting, they are more of just a record of my journey.

    I had my second appointment with the obesity clinic GP yesterday. My fiance was home so he came with me for support. My stomach was in knots on the way there. Theres just something nerve-wracking about seeing a doctor about something so personal as a weight issue. I wasn't even that nervous to have a pelvic exam when I was pregnant!

    So inside, he went through my questionnaire about previous medical/weight loss history. He explained the process to my partner, went through all the risks associated with the surgery, answered the questions we prepared to ask, and did a quick exam (weight, blood pressure, heart check).
    Then he told us what we had to do from now. First thing is to check and see if our private health cover is high enough to cover surgery. We are going to Medibank today to see if we have to increase it, and check about waiting periods. I have my appointment with the surgeon (Dr Paul Anderson) at the end of this month, which will hopefully get me a date for my surgery.

    So nothing overly exciting, just another step on the road to recovery.
  22. FreshStart2
    Okay I don't know why I'm doing this. I've barely even started this journey and I definately have "Last Supper Syndrome". I can't stop eating! I literally just want to eat ALL day at the moment, even more than I did when I was pregnant. I was not like this prior to my lap banding consultation! I never just graze all day BECAUSE I know I have weight issues.

    Its so frustrating because I know I should be cutting back my food and preparing myself, not pigging out and possibly putting on more weight I'll have to lose later. Is my brain telling me "oh well, you're getting a band so you'll lose it later anyway"...?? Thats not really any excuse. I think it's also because my partner now works away from home, and he's not here to watch my eating and keep me in check. When the cat's away, the mouse will EAT all the cheese.

    I'm thinking about saving up over the next couple of weeks to get a gym membership, hopefully getting out and doing some excercise will be some motivation to slow back down and eat like a normal human being again. Should I start Opifasting now? Even though I don't have a surgery date or anything yet?

    I know what I have is head hunger and not real hunger but I just don't know what to do right now to stop it. Especially when the in-laws (whom i live with) stock their fridge with chocolates...literally a whole drawer in the fridge full of chocolate...wtf
  23. FreshStart2
    I'm happy to say I seem to be over my LSS, at least for now! Im back to making the healthier choices i used to. Since living with the inlaws, its been hard to resist their goodies that inhabit the fridge and cupboard. But today I've gone back to swapping!
    • chamomile tea instead of coffee
    • avocado on toast instead of cream cheese.
    • cruskits with hommus instead of a sandwhich
    • banana & rice milk shake instead of iced coffee
    • sparkling mineral water instead of soft drink
    • carrot sticks instead of crackers or chocolate

    When I move out I plan to make a lot more changes but in the meantime I'd love to hear about the foods you swap for something healthier.

  24. FreshStart2
    So I had my first consultation today. It wasnt at all like I expected. There was no judgemental/biased GP waiting to tell me that lap banding was a last resort and I should really attempt other ways to lose weight first. He didnt make any negative comments about my weight or BMI, in fact he almost forgot to weigh me at all! I barely had to say anything, he said it all for me and made me feel very comfortable that its not something to be ashamed of. I just have the info pack and questionaire to fill in and another appointment in 2 weeks! Can't wait! Even happy with the cost of the procedure, I admit I thought it was going to be a LOT more. He told me the process would take 6-8 weeks to get in for surgery. Happy with that! Just hoping that my surgery will fall on a week when my fiance is home from work to look after me and my son. Fingers crossed.

    Hope the next 2 weeks go quickly. I just can't wait to get started.

    Starting Weight: 106kg
    Dr Goal Weight: 69kg
    My Goal Weight: 65kg
    Current BMI: 44
  25. FreshStart2
    My name is Leanne and I'm a 21 year old (new) mother of a 6 month old baby boy. I've struggled with my weight my whole life, and hadn't been under 100kg for at least 3-4 years. I met my fiance about 3 years ago and started immediately on a weight loss regime, determined to look good for him and feel more confident about myself. It worked! For a while... I'd lost about 10kg going to Healthy Inspirations, exercising in their gym and having diet consultations.

    Then around Christmas 2010, I fell pregnant. That combined with all the yummy treats of Christmas, there went all my hard work. I stopped going to the gym for fear of over-doing it, I gave into pregnancy cravings and put all the weight back on. After the birth of my son six months ago, I had Implanon inserted into my arm, to avoid any more "lovely, surprise" pregnancies.

    Six months later, I am heavier than I was when I was 9 months pregnant. It's a horrible feeling to get on the scale and see that. I've thought about Lap Band surgery in the past, but thought it was too far out of my reach financially, not to mention I was embarrassed and didnt think I was 'there yet'. I think when you become a mum, you spend so much time taking care of everyone else, that you forget to look after yourself, and now that I'm over that 100kg mark yet again, I need to take action now and prevent it from becoming something I put off whilst I raise my son.

    So this weekend, I made the decision to enquire about it and spoke to my partner (hesitantly), hoping for his support. He was fantastic, told me he loved me how I was but he could see that this is something I needed to do for myself, for our relationship, and for our son. So, tomorrow I begin my phone calls to get an appointment at an Obesity Clinic nearby. Wish me luck!