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Becstar

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Becstar last won the day on December 15 2013

Becstar had the most liked content!

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144 Priceless

About Becstar

  • Rank
    Veteran Bandit
  • Birthday 11/03/1983

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Adelaide
  • Band/Sleeve Status
    12+ Months Post-Op
  • Weight Loss Status
    40%
  1. Becstar

    Should I start over?

    Well I finally got to see the doctor yesterday and I felt like crying as I explained the situation, I hate that going to the doctor makes me feel like a naughty kid in the principal's office! But, with some insistence, I got him to agree to take all of my fill out. And I have to say that for the last 24 hours I have felt human again! Not a PB or stuck moment or chest pain at all and it's wonderful! The best thing is that I don't feel hungry either. I was worried that I'd have my fill taken out and I'd be ravenous, eating everything I could see, but I honestly haven't been. I had a thick chunky soup for dinner last night to ease into it and a serve of a risoni pasta dish today and some flavoured tuna, and everything has gone down perfectly, and has left me feeling satisfied. I'm not going to let my guard down though, now that I can eat properly, I'm going to be enjoying lots of veggies! The doctor said he wants me to have an x-ray in three weeks in case the band has slipped. I honestly don't think it was slippage that was the problem, I truly think I just don't need a very tight band. But I will hold off final judgement for a little while since the area around the band is probably still quite swollen.
  2. Becstar

    Should I start over?

    Hi all, I've got a bit of a problem and I want some advice if you'd be so kind as to help. I've been banded for nearly 2 years and I've lost 40kg but I've not lost anything since before Christmas. Once of the main reasons is because I'm pretty sure my band is too tight. It was too tight last year so I had some fluid removed, and for a while I thought things were better although I still had a lot of stuck moments but I just assumed that was my fault because I ate too fast or didn't chew properly or something along those lines. The thing is, it's just been getting worse and worse to the point where I can barely eat anything that isn't a fluid. I throw up every day and several times most days, and I feel like I have tried everything. I am almost never hungry except for the times when I just haven't eaten in forever (because sometimes I just won't eat because it's too hard to try) and even when I have liquids like soup or I can get down something a bit more substantial like tuna or mashed potato, I can only eat a small amount before I feel full. The problem is that I get so miserable and then eat chocolate, because that is the one thing I don't have trouble with (life is so cruel sometimes). Actually, not that I think about it, I have had problems with chocolate too! I have tried it all: eating slower, eating smaller bites, waiting up to 10-15 minutes between mouthfuls, chewing until my food tastes like sawdust...and I'm still having this problem! I'm actually craving fresh fruit and veggies and healthy balanced meals but I can't eat them! I have an appointment with my doctor next Friday and I think I'm going to ask him to remove all of the fluid so that my body can calm down and I can start over again. My doctor makes me nervous when I ask to have fluid removed and when I ask him how much he's putting in or out he gets a bit cagey like I don't need to know that. I feel like he might be against this idea but I feel like this is something I just need to do. Do you think it's too drastic to have my band completely emptied? Sure, it might mean I can eat more, but I'm not exactly losing weight right now so how much worse can it get? And you still have some restriction with an empty band, don't you? I would love thoughts, ideas, advice - especially if you've been through something similar. Thanks!
  3. Becstar

    Bandit Life at Christmas

    I love your attitude! I remember an ad once (I think it was maybe for weight watchers) where they said "Food is not the enemy!" and I love that idea. We don't have to deprive ourselves of the things we really love, we just need to learn to have them in moderation and really savour them. Good on you! I'm going to carols by candlelight tonight with a bunch of friends, and pre-banding I loved doing this sort of thing, taking a 'picnic' that consisted of mountains of cheese, dips, chocolate, chips and wine! This time I'm taking some cheese and dip to share, but it's a dip I've made myself and I'm taking a whole lot of cut up veggies and fresh summer fruit too. I'm only taking one chocolate thing and I offered to drive so I won't drink more than half a glass of wine. And absolutely no chips...because they are my kryptonite!
  4. Becstar

    dr goal vs your goal

    Thanks Missy Belle, that's good to know. I'm very wary of telling people what my goal is because I find a lot of my naturally skinny friends say things like "Oh don't go crazy and lose too much" which is usually code for "I'm happy for you, but it would hurt my pride a little bit if my 'fat' friend was skinnier than me." (Sorry...I know that sounds mean but I have a few insecure friends who still don't know I was banded because they always try to sabotage my weight loss!). But I am very cautious of ending up going too far the other way when it comes to weight loss and getting too skinny. I guess the 'secret' goal for me is more about the number and just wanting to see that 60kg on the scales, which is probably stupid, but it motivates me when I'm feeling down. I have been in this weight loss game for so long that I don't really take a lot of stock in the numbers anyway, I get that real feeling of success by other things, like going down a dress size, liking the way I look in an outfit, being able to cross my legs, having people compliment my weight loss etc.
  5. Becstar

    Non Scale Victories (NSVs)

    Oh I thought of another one, though sorry if it's TMI. For the first time in my life I have a regular, stable menstrual cycle! It doesn't really feel like a victory when it's happening, but I keep reminding myself that it's happening because my body is healthier.
  6. Becstar

    Annoying rolling knickers

    Oh I realise that toning only increases the size of muscle cells, but I've read that toning during weight loss can help the skins elasticity. Obviously with nearly 100kg to lose I'm not going to be able to get rid of all of it naturally, but I still want to do everything I can. I asked my surgeon about excess skin at the very beginning and he said that some people don't get much excess skin, but most people I've come across do have the excess skin so I'm assuming that's what will happen with me too. I just hate the idea of more surgery and what it's going to cost. Although it won't be for several years yet so I suppose if I start saving now I should be set!
  7. Becstar

    dr goal vs your goal

    When I first booked my surgery, I asked my surgeon what my weight loss goal should be and he was basically like "Oh don't worry about that too much right now, let's just focus on you losing weight." Which kind of annoyed me, but since my beginning weight was 162kg, I suppose he just wanted to get as much excess weight off me as possible? I can understand the doctors not being as goal-weight focussed as us because let's face it, for us bandits, the goal weight is personal. When I pushed him, my doctor did agree it would be good if I could get down to 100kg, but like so many others I thought "Screw this 40-50% crap - I'm going all the way!" But since I had so much to lose, I decided to break my weight loss up a bit. My first goal is to get down to double figures (under 100kg) and then My second goal would be my ultimate goal weight. After researching as many healthy weight charts/calculators as I could get my hands on, I decided my ultimate goal weight would be 65kg, which is pretty much right in the middle of the healthy weight range for my height, this should give me a BMI of about 23. However, I do sort of have a secret (or not so secret) special goal of 60kg (BMI 21.3) which is the lower end of my healthy weight range. I figure that once I get down there I'll have a better idea of what works for me though
  8. Where abouts are you? If you look in the state categories you should be able to get some more specific info about surgeons. I've had my band for 16 months and I will be honest: being a bandit is hard. There have been times when I have cried with frustration at the struggles I've had with my band, but I would not give it up for the world. I have never been able to lose more than about 13kgs (and believe me, I've been trying to lose weight for about 20 years) and never made a weight-loss effort last more than five or six months, but since getting my band I've had slow but steady weight loss for nearly 18 months and have lost over 40kgs. It has given me so much hope about my future when I had all but given up. Having the band is certainly not a stop-gap measure, it is a whole new way of life. If you do your research, follow all the advice of your medical practitioners and take advantage of all the support you can get, you can find a lot of success. That's probably the most important piece of advice I can give: use the support of your doctors, dietitians etc. Adjusting the band to the right tension can be a delicate, frustrating and awkward process so it's important to keep talking to your doctor, keep going back for check-ups and knowing what you should be feeling. Everyone here is really friendly and supportive so feel free to ask lots of questions and got through the topics on the boards. Good luck!
  9. Becstar

    Annoying rolling knickers

    I have a pair of the city chic ones and they're pretty good, they sit up quite high - almost to my bra so I think that helps. I've seen the Dr. Rey's at Target but I'm thinking they were too small for me? Does anyone know how large they go? I might have to duck into target to have a look this arvo. I've recently noticed that my jiggly bits are extra-jiggly now that I've lost a significant amount so I'm going to have to wear shapewear more often I think. I'm figuring that excess skin and a body lift will be an eventual post-goal inevitability, but I would like to do everything I can in the meantime. Have people had success with toning exercises?
  10. Ha, so I just had a look and the last time I wrote a blog entry on here was July of last year! Yeah...I've been away far too long but since coming back here this week, I can't believe I stayed away so long! I'd forgotten how good it is to talk to other bandits and to have people who understand what you're going through and are actually supportive! So, quick update for anyone playing at home: It's been 16 months since my band operation, and despite some very slow progress, I have lost just over 40kg which is almost halfway to the 98kg I need to lose to reach goal. I've also returned to full time study this year, which has taken up most of my focus and sanity but overall is a good thing because I'm focussed on a new career that I absolutely love. I'm still ever the worst critic of myself, so as proud of myself as I am with my progress (and believe me, I am sooo proud), I can't help but feel a little disappointed that it's taken me 16 months to lose that weight. But my mantra at the moment is "It doesn't matter how slowly it comes off, as long as it stays off for good!" The wonderful thing is that I can actually tell I've lost weight, mostly through the fact that my clothes are all getting too big on me! My biggest problem has been getting the tension/tightness/adjustment of my band right. For most of this year, I've struggled with being able to eat properly, keeping food down etc. Being the self-saboteur that I am, I spent most of the year assuming it was just my fault, that I was either eating too quickly, not taking small enough bites etc. I even had my doctor take out fluid twice but my band was still inconsistent and getting almost unbearable in the last few weeks. So yesterday I went back to the surgeon, got another 0.5ml removed and suddenly it's like I've seen the light! Almost instantly, I could eat an entire meal (well a small serving but solid food all the same) without any problems. I ate chicken and broccoli curry with salad and a very small piece of naan (I tore a little piece off my nieces naan) without anything getting stuck. I almost wanted to cry I was just so happy! I also noticed that through my months and months of trying to fix myself, I've actually developed good habits in eating slowly and chewing well, which is a lovely by-product of all the stress I've had with my band. What's really been getting me down lately, is that with all my issues with my band being too tight, I haven't been able to enjoy the lovely healthy foods I love like fresh fruit, salad and meat. Now, I feel like Christmas has come early as I think about all the lovely, fresh, healthy meals I'm going to make. I know that this new freedom with food is going to mean I'm open to more temptation, but not being able to eat healthy, solid food has shown me how much I crave good food, so I hope that will help too. So that's me, 16 months on and after a year of struggle with my band, I finally feel like I'm back in the game and ready to tackle the next stage of my weight loss. I'm currently 119.5kg and my goal is to get under 100kg by the two year anniversary of my banding operation which is July). I'm also going to focus on toning up because my wobbly bits are getting too wobbly to bear now! I'm just a wee bit excited!
  11. I've cracked 120kg! Less than 20kg to double figures!!! This is the smallest I've been in nearly a decade :D

    1. missy_belle

      missy_belle

      well done Becstar!

    2. JouJou

      JouJou

      Well done Bec! Keep up the great work.

  12. Had 0.5ml taken out of my band today and it's like I'm a whole new person! I was actually able to eat solid food tonight (chicken and veggies) without anything getting stuck! Wish I'd done this months ago!

  13. Becstar

    Cymbalta, has anyone been on it?

    I'm on cymbalta, have been for about 7-8 months or so and I'm very happy with it. I take it for anxiety and depression. It's the 4th antidepressant my doctor tried and is by far the best. I've had the best results without side effects. However, different medications have different results for different people so this is really just my experience. I do know that you can't come straight off it, you have to wean off it gradually, but that's something your doctor should go through with you.
  14. So glad I'm going to see the doctor tomorrow. Haven't been able to keep solid food down all day - definitely too tight!

  15. Becstar

    Has anybody ever considered a stylist?

    One thing that I always prided myself on was my ability to dress well even when I was at my biggest (162kg). I am a costumier so it's part of my job but due to my little 'talent', choosing outfits was always something I was good at and enjoyed, although, as my shape is changing, I'm finding it a new challenge - but one I very much love! It's so exciting watching my new figure take place and I think I might actually be a natural hourglass, at least I really hope I am, it will be so much more fun than if I'm a pear (let's just keep our fingers crossed that the boobs don't shrink too much!). I think understanding your shape and dressing to your best advantage is so super important, I despise that attitude of 'oh I'm overweight so it doesn't matter what is wear,' and I always feel sad when I see overweight people in baggy, shapeless clothes because I think it makes them look worse. But I suppose it also reflects that lack of confidence we all get from being overweight and uncomfortable in our own bodies.
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