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Hi All, I haven't actually logged onto this site for god knows how long. Years. Once upon a time...I was 112kg at my heaviest. Size 18..almost 20 if I'm 100% honest. It was 12months after my first child was born, and I was heavier than when I was pregnant with him! I underwent the gastric banding in Nov 2012. I stuck to the rules, ate the right foods, in the right portions, and did the right exercise. I managed to shed 37kg over the next 18months, to my lowest ever weight of 75kg (size 12), and I couldn't have been happier. I couldn't seem to get under that to reach my goal weight of 65kg but I was happy anyway. Unfortunately when I went back to fulltime work, an admin role, the weight started to creep back up. Juggling working fulltime as a FIFO mum was exhausting and I was become much less active. Sitting at a desk all day, indulging in the staff birthday cakes or treat lunches. I became complacent and put on about 10kg the first year I was there. Fast forward to Oct 2016 - I gave birth to my second child, and began a year-long battle with severe post-natal depression. Unfortuntely this resulted in the breakdown of my marriage as well, another reason for me to comfort-eat and not wanting to get out of bed. Between my depressive symptoms, having fill taken out (and not put back in) for my pregnancy, and various medications I was on, I piled the weight back on and I've found myself more or less back where I started. It's been a really rough 12 months. My youngest is now 18months old. Unfortunately I am separated (although not giving up hope), and I'm learning how to put myself first for a change. I joined a gym close to work late last year, and I go (amlmost) every lunchbreak for an hour during the week. I joined ParkRun - a 5km run (or walk) every Saturday morning, and I want to start learning how to run! My goal is to just beat my time every week, even if it's only by a minute. I applied and enrolled into university, something I never got to do after highschool, and come July, I will be starting a bachelor degree in Psychology. I'm so excited about this and see it as an investment in my future. I also am considering moving back to my home-state (WA) to be with my family again, after 7 years of living in Adelaide with my husband. I am hoping we will work things out and he'll come with me, but I'm preparing to go on my own (with the kids) if he won't. All of the above sounds like a lot to handle at once but I'm determined to make it happen. It's going to be the year of ME, and I'm trying to find myself again. I'm following my heart, feeding my mind and trying my hardest to regain my fitness. I'm starting over today on Optifast, 3x a day for 12 weeks for that kickstart I so desperately need. I'm also planning to make an appointment and reconnect with my banding doctor, have a bit more fill put in and work with him to lose the weight again. Most importantly, I've rejoined this community to find the support and encouragement I've been missing he last few years as I struggled to control my weight on my own. This is Day 1....107kg, size 18