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riverliver

The elephant in the room!

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I have just seen some recent photos of myself with my niece's 2 babies. I still look the same just like the elephant in the room! 22 kg down hasn't made an iota of difference that I can see. Am feeling really depressed am wondering if I lose the rest of the weight will I still look soo terrible. I feel as though nothing has changed, hardly anyone has ever even commented. I know women my age are invisible most of the time but we all need some positive reinforcement sometimes?

Does any one else ever feel like this?

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YES !!!!

As you say, women our age. Im 51 and I swear not even my own mother has noticed but I've dropped 1 1/2 dress sizes.................

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Hey Riverliver,

Yes I hear you. The only people that pay me compliments are my family. Maybe because they are the only ones that are aware of my journey. I think I am your age and yes you are right we do need encouragement as it is harder for us to lose the weight. I have set myself a target of 20kls and so far I have lost 11kls. I am able to fit into clothes I havent worn for 4 or 5 years so I know my body shape is definitely changing but I saw a photo last night and to be honest I could only see a small change. I am hoping when I lose the other 9kls it is going to make a huge difference. I have noticed I am fitting when walking. My husband keeps asking me where is the fire so I guess that means my pace has picked up. My main reason for banding was to get healthy and not put myself in a situation where i have heart/stroke issues so I am achieving that.

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Hey Riverliver,

Yes I hear you. The only people that pay me compliments are my family. Maybe because they are the only ones that are aware of my journey. I think I am your age and yes you are right we do need encouragement as it is harder for us to lose the weight. I have set myself a target of 20kls and so far I have lost 11kls. I am able to fit into clothes I havent worn for 4 or 5 years so I know my body shape is definitely changing but I saw a photo last night and to be honest I could only see a small change. I am hoping when I lose the other 9kls it is going to make a huge difference. I have noticed I am fitting when walking. My husband keeps asking me where is the fire so I guess that means my pace has picked up. My main reason for banding was to get healthy and not put myself in a situation where i have heart/stroke issues so I am achieving that.

Sorry fitter when walking.

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Sometimes, its not all good....I am 26 and have lost 47kgs, Im now a size 12...about half way through my journey all I wanted was for people to comment and tell me how well i was doing...NOW, its a bit of a hassle.....when you're big you really are invisible, all of a sudden I have people paying attention to me and Im not used to it! It actually starts to mess with your mind a bit, in that now I question whether people actually like me for me or for the way I look now...twisted, right??

I thought thin people had no worries in life! How wrong was I?!?!?!

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Hi all

i started my journey at 124kg and at 159 cm short

really no one noted my weight loss till it was between 21 and 27kg then it was like wow what are you doing i lost a total of 50kg

it will happen it just takes time keep up the good work

i put on 18 kg over 5 months till i had my band replaced

now on my second journey and have lost only 6 kg so far i am going slowerly this time and i am starting to get some comments now

so keep going

kerri :rolleyes:

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I am 52 and I was invisible till I lost my weight!! No one noticed till I had lost about 20kgs.

But take pride in yourself that are doing so well and losing weight.

Every day is a step closer to your goal and you will achieve it.

You are losing this weight for you !!

Keep up the good work :)

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Sometimes, its not all good....I am 26 and have lost 47kgs, Im now a size 12...about half way through my journey all I wanted was for people to comment and tell me how well i was doing...NOW, its a bit of a hassle.....when you're big you really are invisible, all of a sudden I have people paying attention to me and Im not used to it! It actually starts to mess with your mind a bit, in that now I question whether people actually like me for me or for the way I look now...twisted, right??

I thought thin people had no worries in life! How wrong was I?!?!?!

I absolutely understand what you mean, i'm 21 and have lost about 30kg. The attention is to the point of embarrasment sometimes. I know people mean well, but it does make me uncomfortable at times.

Not to take away from the O.P's point that encouragement is really nice, just saying it can be quite embarrassing as well.

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Are you still wearing the 'old you' clothes or clothing style?

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You know Gato, I think you may have a point! Being my age and of course not wearing tight clothing since I was about 20ish I do tend to dress for comfort .

I need to reassess my fashion sense even at my stage in life. Believe me I don't expect any miracles but I will try and be more positive and develop some sort of more forgiving body image :wub::ph34r: :ph34r: :ph34r: !

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Nothing wrong with dressing for comfort and I never think its worth buying something that you don't feel reflects 'you'. But ill-fitting clothes or clothes that scream "the only thing I could find in my size", are never going to make you look the best.

And the way you feel about your body and being photographed can be reflected in your smile, the way you sit, the way you walk, too. Oh, and maybe its time for a new style haircut?

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No-one noticed with me until I had lost over 25 kilos. Mind you I was that bloody scared it would stop, reverse or something I was too scared to buy new clothes, One time I took a gigantic pile of clothes to the repairers and spend over $150 getting pants taken in and tops adjusted (a little bit) and belt straps put on things - favourites - to be on the safe side. When I hit 30 kilos gone and even modified clothes didnt fit I finally started buying a few things (and got some from kind people on here on two occasions) and THEN people noticed. So the 30 kilos mark plus more fitted clothes. I was actually quite glad because it seemed like it had been much slowed than it was due to the clothign thing so the comments werent too stunned. I dont like it if people seem stunned (as it makes the point it seems to me, "thank God you've lost lots of weight as you were repulsive before"or at least that it how it seems to me!)

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Hi Riverliver,

You said it yourself, 22 Kg down makes no difference you can see. Well believe me that is not what others will be seeing. 22Kg down is great in anyones language, WELL DONE!!! Remember, any decent person will be waiting to make sure they do not cause offence by commenting too soon. I, as a bloke, am very careful making a comment about someones weight just in case I say the wrong thing. It doesn't mean I've not noticed. (I'm very good at foot in mouth!!!).

Ultimately it is not about others and what they think, it's all about you and your loved ones.

Keep up the great work, I love following everyones progress. It inspires me to do better.

Regards,

Martin.

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Firstly well done you.good job on losing 22kgs.

I know what you mean about being invisible. I am also somewhere between old and young and its only in the last probably 3 weeks that I am starting to feel different. I think you can't tell and then all of a sudden one day you look in the mirror and something seems to have shifted.

As far as people noticing I am so used to being invisible that I get quite confused when I get attention especially from the opposite sex. Also my hubby is a big bloke and gives off that hands off aura, so I was really a bit uncomfortable recently when I went on a course witha group of middle aged guys and got some interest. Mildly amused was how I would put it.

I have not lost nearly as much as you, but as I say, all of a sudden one day it will happen. It did for me.

Maybe try the new haircut etc and see how you go.

Katy

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I think is all about perception and permission. How we saw ourselves and how we see ourselves now. I was so self conscious, convinced people were looking at me critically. But you know most people are preoccupied and it was not just about me.

River you and I have sort of similar loss and goal and I have given myself permission to feel really good and I believe it reflects in the way I dress and carry myself. Given I now believe people were not preoccupied with my weight it does not surprise me if they do not notice. If they do its a bonus but not my expectation.

I hope this does not sound like I am up myself because I am truly writing here from my heart. Just hope head and heart meet some where in the middle:)) as I have had a heavy week.

So chin up..hug yourself and give yourself permission to celebrate the great work you have done and the beautiful person you always have been.

Cheers

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I think is all about perception and permission. How we saw ourselves and how we see ourselves now. I was so self conscious, convinced people were looking at me critically. But you know most people are preoccupied and it was not just about me.

River you and I have sort of similar loss and goal and I have given myself permission to feel really good and I believe it reflects in the way I dress and carry myself. Given I now believe people were not preoccupied with my weight it does not surprise me if they do not notice. If they do its a bonus but not my expectation.

I hope this does not sound like I am up myself because I am truly writing here from my heart. Just hope head and heart meet some where in the middle:)) as I have had a heavy week.

So chin up..hug yourself and give yourself permission to celebrate the great work you have done and the beautiful person you always have been.

Cheers

Just my last thought on the matter. Our losses whilst they sound grand in the scheme of things are subtle. Like "gee my jeans are loose today" and

you know what that is a great sign. With family and friends if we are lucky to see them often our losses are so subtle they cant see it happening.

It like a child growing if you see them every day it will their growing out of clothes you will notice first. If you haven't seem them for 6 months...wow

look how much they have grown.

Hope my back yard wisdom and analogies help to make us all feel better about our losses.

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I really like the fact that some wise and thoughtful words have been posted here. Thanks to you all.

Jill

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For what it's worth it took me to loose 30kg before anyone made a comment - my husband said at the start it will be the second 30 that people notice and he was right.

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After loosing 20kg I actually had a woman at work say to me "oh yeah, now I can see it. Before I couldn't really tell that you had lost the weight". That kind of annoyed me because I had been feeling really good about it. But I find even myself that some days I can look in the mirror and see every kilo I've lost and other days I just see every kilo I have left to go.

I highly recomend the mini makeover option (new clothing style/ new haircut) Even if other people still don't notice (and stuff them if they don't) it will make you feel better :)

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I didn't have anyone notice until I'd lost 25kg+ and then only when I threw out all my massive clothes and bought some new ones with a better not so baggy fit :-)

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