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BackinBlack

Stupid ignorant fool

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First time I have had a negative response regarding my journey and this was from a family member. Long history of me always being bigger then his wife, now the tables are turned, due to the band and she over the last two years has gained a fair amount of weight. She made a comment on FB regarding her weigh less soup and how she missed pizza or hamburgers, so I mentioned that there could be a weigh less pizza available if she really felt the need for one. Next comment was from him about lipo, to which I responded that WLS is far from lipo...

Really floored by that one to be honest as they know how long it has taken me to get to the point that I am today, although they aren't aware of the effort regarding exercise I have put into it. It's made me sad, mad and inadvertantly pushed me to eat with my head again today, as the insecurities have all come rushing back. One stupid comment and I am a basket case. I really wish ignorant pricks would STFU. Excuse the language but I am a little bit pissed off.

They say you can pick your friends but not your family, not a truer word was spoken. If he wasn't family I would block his stupid ass from FB.

Sorry for ranting, had to vent somewhere...

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I intend in those situations to simply go and look at myself in the mirror,and feel proud of what i have done. I am really interested in how people i know treat me as i loose my weight. At 90% lost you should be so proud.

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My sister said to me " well, now I have to go to weight watchers, I hope you're happy, you're suppossed to be the fat one, not me"!!

My response... Yes I am happy at 20kg down, and i dont really care if she goes to WW or not, thats her choice.

Its been a bit tense for a few days now.

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I feel you BackinBlack. My own best friend has distanced herself quite a bit from me lately. We were both 110kilos when I was banded. Now I'm 91 and she is just reaching 140 kilos. She stopped asking me to go clothes shopping with her and when I asked why she said it was because we couldn't shop at the same shops anymore (which is untrue since I shop at crossroads which starts from size 8).

And i expressed my concern about her weight and she got really mad. It came from a talk she started. Her doctor tells her she can't have children unless she looses weight and she's started on medication to prevent diabetes as she is very close to having it. Was she expecting me to say "what do doctors know? Do whatever makes you happy?"

Sorry to add my little rant! :)

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family or not, if his comments are hurting you and your success then block him even for a while maybe not forever, half of my family are blocked from my FB and will be forever as i dont ever want anything to do with them,.

what i am saying is do what is right for you, dont let people drag you down, as my brother tells me all the time people throw rocks at things that shine which is why i have it in my signiture to remind me.

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Backinblack,

They are only jealous of your success, If they knew they hurt you enough to eat, they would be happy with themselves..

There will always be people who will criticise your success, because it shows their failures..

You were the catipillar, now you are the butterfly...Don't let other people undermine your efforts, You know you have worked hard for this,

We who are banded, know that it is only a tool, and without alot of effort in controlling what we eat and excerising it would not work.

Be proud of yourself and your massive achievement, if they can't be happy for you, then that is their problem NOT yours.

Best of luck in losing your last bit of weight, tomorrow is a new day, become the person you want to be .....and stick it up em.....lol

Sammy.

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"so I mentioned that there could be a weigh less pizza available if she really felt the need for one. Next comment was from him about lipo, to which I responded that WLS is far from lipo..."

I can't see how you knew his comment about lipo was directed at you and your WLS to be honest. Are you sure it was?

But I also don't understand what you meant by your comment about a weigh less pizza being available either. So I guess I just don't get the whole thing!

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Well it was only me and her in the conversation until he piped up about it? Not sure who else it could have been directed at other then me, as they are both aware of the WLS. I was trying to make her aware that pizza etc are 'allowed' and that there are healthy alternatives to be had, rather then living on weigh less soup, but I guess it got lost in translation. She is the one insisting on dieting and 'beating me' (her words not mine), that was a previous comment made to me and I replied its a lifestyle change not a diet and that she is welcome to beat me as I am not in a race. I want to live a normal life without having to resort to 'diets'. Again, no response to that one...

Either way, I will be distancing myself from her dieting comments in future, will just refrain from offering any advice. Let her have her weigh less soups...

As the others have stated, tomorrow is another day, shall hop back on the treadmill and do my thang, thanks guys :)

On a side note, Suzyk, sorry to hear about your friend, having starting my journey at the 140kg mark and being borderline diabetic, your story struck a cord with me, maybe direct her to this site and let her have a read through some of the topics etc. The gallery is definately a good motivator (I know it was for me at the time).

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lol you know what to say to people who say "oh now i have to join weight watchers to beat you, you're supposed to be the fat one"?

Say "okay, let's see who can lose 10kg first". If they want to make it a competition...LET EM! it will only motivate you to do better and bring them down a peg. Its not to make them feel bad about themselves, but it might shut them up, and hey, if you both lose some weight, it's a win-win right?

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Why is it so hard for people to be happy for your when they see you've lost weight. Whenever I saw someone loose weight I used to ask how and why and everything I could and congratulate them. I envied them and made sure they knew it. They gave me inspiration and a challenge, I never wished bad of them. And trying to loose weight for years, I know how hard it is to get one killo off, or ten.

BackinBlack, I think you need to step up for yourself and use it as motivation to just loose more. Make stupid comments like cheapest lipo you've every gotten. Seriously who has $15K for a one off fix? And Lipo is instantaneous. Not gradual.

Wish you all the best and hope you get back on track again.

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Hey there BIB-go back and look at the pic you posted of yourself a few days ago. No one can look at that without seeing a beautiful woman. Turn it into a lid to cover a box full of your insecurities and just unfriend this a family member. There will always be jealous people in this world and the more I read on here about the hurtful things that family say the more I am glad that I'm a secret bandit!

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Unfortunately people are free to choose how they act :( its sad but true. I hope you just forget the comments he sounds like a douche, and you know how and what you have done to loose the weight. Maybe the best victory is to look and feel your best! It's the biggest stuff you, you can give. Jealous people will always just hate on what they can't do themselves.

And Suzy if she is a real friend she will come around. It's hard to be happy for others when your miserable. Just keep trying and maybe have a chat about how yOu feel. It's worth it if you want her as a friend :(

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It is sad when people make negative comments.

But the only power negative words have over you is the power that you give them. I don't mean to play down the hurt you felt, but if you have a little confidence in yourself and the success you have had so far you can ignore his jibe. Even if his intention was to put you down, you don't have to accept that. You know the difference between WLS and LIPO and you know all of the hard work you have put in to get to the place where you are now. Be proud of that hard work and be proud of that success and don't let one mans ignorant comment get you down. :)

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Yeah, I know I shouldn't be hurt by it, but to me its like he is downplaying all the hard work and effort that has gone into my journey. I am proud of what I have achieved, but he circumvented that pride by undermining the method at which I got there, if that makes sense.

It's the ignorance with comments like that which make me think twice about telling people I am banded, such a shame as there are other people out there that could potentially benefit from that knowledge and use it themselves to take the next step to losing weight (be it band/sleeve or bypass). Now I don't mention it at all, I just tell people I eat less and exercise more. Easier that way.

Anyway, I will just ignore those comments and move on in future. I have found once people have made up their minds about the method being the 'easy way out' its almost impossible to change their point of view. :(

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Im going to tell people im eating less and excercising more as well, which wont be untrue. It will probably come out one day and if it does and I get asked why I kept it a secret, I'll be honest and say "because I wasn't looking for anyone elses opinion about it, and some people have trouble keeping it to themselves, so it was easier not to tell anyone".

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Well, after yet another altercation, this time regarding a political stance, I have been unfriended. Saved me the trouble of having to do it myself. Was going to bring the entire mob over next year for a holiday here in Australia, now I might just use that money on myself for that tummy tuck :P

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WOW What a fabulous revenge!!!!

And the best bit is it hurts no-one.

Be good to yourself

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Turn those negative comments into a positive. I have always found inspiration from people who try to put you down. Especially from people who are themselves overweight. Their comments should be the incentive you need to lose weight. Find the power you need from their unkind words. They don't realize that they have done you a favor by being so mean. And, it is ok to unfriend him on Facebook. xox

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If they live OS at least you wont have to run into them regulary

Befor your last comment I was thinking... Maby he was making a negitive comment towards his wife. But you know his personality better that me. He sounds quite nasty

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