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jen16

I approached some new people at my bariatric appointment..

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I did something today that I normally wouldn't do...

While at the hospital waiting in clinic - I saw a young guy (couldn't be older than 20 maybe younger?) with his mum who was about to start the whole banding experience. Quite frankly he look quite scared, so I approached them while they were waiting also and let them know there was THIS great support group website/forum that I have found so much help with as there is such a lack of support post banding through the public system. I told them that it's JUST people sharing their experiences, however it's great to know your not alone when certain things happen and its the first time.

I told the mother "I'm sure you'll be a bit like my mum & there's so theres a section with recipes when you run out of ideas" - (as I can't physically stand long enough to make anything at the moment due to my OA and nerve damage, not even a cup of tea, mum does my food for me. She is registered as my carer as most days I can't even dress myself).

I hope I did the right thing? Would you do this?

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I'm happy to have general conversations with people in waiting rooms but it would feel like an invasion of my privacy if someone in the waiting room wanted to provide advice or make assumptions about me or how I was feeling or what would be useful to me or even why I was there.  Even if everyone is there for the same reason, I think its good to respect people's privacy and just ignore the fact that you know why they are sitting in the same waiting room as you.  That's what I prefer anyway.  But maybe they approached you and asked for information?

 

Oh, and it may not have been a mother and son, they may have been partners with a 25 year age difference. 

And not all women prepare food for other people.

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I do see and understand your point Gato and your quite right.

When I approached the pair I respectfully introduced myself and did excuse myself for interrupting them while they were waiting. But I wanted to let them know there was this great site available because since becoming banded, I don't think there has been a day I have not looked at the forums, and there is a serious lack of support when being banded at the Alfred hospital. You either have to wait till your appointment which is not always every 4 weeks, due to how many people there are, it can be up to 7 weeks! A simple question would only be able to be answered if you had an appointment (for which bariatric doctors are only there once a month!) or went in to emergency. They not even have a full time bariatric nurse! All due to lack of funding. It's simply saying" your not alone".

I'm often engaged in conversations in waiting rooms, as I was today at my appointment.

The pair were sitting just behind us, and from conversation that was OH, it was quite clear it was mother and son. About 40mins later we ran into them down stairs and the mother seamed greatful for the information I had given her. When we were upstairs in clinic she asked me questions about the surgery, and HOW I FELT before the operation, how did I go with the optifast phase, how did I feel after the operation etc so I imagine if I was not sitting in the block of chairs and chatting with the people in that block, I assume I would of been chatting to these to people who were in he next block of chairs.

I DO try and be respectful of people who don't want to engage in conversation. Some days and I've been through it myself, I've just been to ill to speak or I'm in too much pain but its and because of my health problems especially my breathing ones - many conversations are started that way (I sound like Darth Vader).

I think this site is such a wonderful place, so I don't know how people can find it, if they have not been told about it, especially if like myself and the person who told me about it and many others are secret / silent bandits.

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I would definitely talk to them...not as an evangalist though...you can generally gauge where a person is at if they are with someone and chatting...you can usually work out their level of interest in what you have to say pretty quickly. I would definitely recommend this website to anyone curious about or interested in WLS.

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I remember being at CBS a couple of months back and they were running REALLY late.  There was about five of us waiting and we all figured we were banders and struck up a conversation.  It was fantastic because we were all at different stages along the way - someone had had theirs four years, another only four weeks! - and it was great to hear all the different perspectives and offer advice to the newbie :) (who was asking for it, so that was fine).  I don't always get chatting to people there but I always find it really wonderful when I do.  And if it's appropriate I always sneak in a mention of this place! haha.

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I dont find it so much here, but back in Scotland you would be hard pressed to sit in any waiting room in silence. Especially if there were some people around the baby boomer age. So I love blethering away to people I don't know. However, we are packed in a bit tighter over there, and generally you will meet someone who knows someone you know. Not great if you are operating in stealth mode!

 

I am very conscious that things are a little different here. But I think it is the manner in which you start the conversation that matters. Friendly and confident, and not pushy, I find normally works. But i don't always do it. Depends on the mood. However if someone started a conversation with me - I would generally be quite happy about it.

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Good on you Jen, I think we all need to take a community approach in all aspects of life. It doesn't hurt anybody to have a chat in a waiting room and they can take it leave your advice. I'm always up for a chat, it takes nothing to be friendly and you never know you might end up making new friends.

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I'm not the kind of person to start conversations with people I don't know but I usuallyjoin into one that has started.  Generally speaking I think we can all gauge quickly how people are reacting to us. I don't think you did anything wrong though. :)

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Thanks, I'm glad most of us at on the same level/page.

As Kazbo and Summerlovin' said - you can gauge whether someone is up for a chat or not and if they were interested in what you had to say. I too would certainly advocate this place as I wouldn't know 3/4 of the stuff I know now without people like yourselves sharing your experiences.

I just thought that 1) how would one find a place like this without being told about it... And if you did find it via a search engine would you have wanted to know that there was this support group already here up and running (thanks Dave :) ) before trolling the search engines?

2) with further public hospital cutbacks, I know from my position as a public patient... Between appointments; (which can really vary. the doctor may say see you in 4 weeks but there may be no appointment available for 7 weeks) you have pretty much have NO SUPPORT. NO ONE to ask questions to, no dietary consultations... Nothing. The bariatric doctors only work 2 days a month at the major public hospital in Melbourne. It's ridiculous. Something's gotta give.

I don't feel bad for doing what I did. I don't regret it either. I approached a young individual who was with his mother (who was just like my self many months ago..) and let them know there's this amazing website that is Australian based, and since having WLS myself, it has been a so valuable in not only answering questions I may have had but answering questions I hadn't even thought of yet. It's just a place where people that have something in common share their experiences but its also a place to know your not alone (especially if you have a hard day/week/month etc). To have the lady ask me a bunch of questions after sharing this, only confirmed that they wanted to know more, especially from a patients POV.

I do hope either mother or son join the site.

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I personally would not have done it, and if someone approached me my guard would be up big time and i would not be too responsive. M

I found the forum through google when i wanted support.

But thats me, and you're you- everyone is different.

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I say good on you jen. I personally would not have approached anyone like that, but had i been on the receiving end, i would have appreciated a chat with somebody with the experience and would have gone home to immediately look up the site. Or done it on my phone lol

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Good on you Jen. I'm sure if they were opposed to it, they'd have let you know either verbally or via body language and if they did, I'm sure you'd have not continued.

 

I'd be more than happy to hear helpful ideas from someone ahead of me in the journey.

 

I think in this day and age we examine things waaaaay too much. The PC thing drives me crazy.

 

Recently I was called back in for a mammogram after there was something not right about the first one (I crapped myself), I sparked up a conv with the other women waiting and we were all gossing and cracking jokes for ages. Sure helped to pass the time and we were all in the same boat. One woman who was crappin more than me actually said how nice it was that we'd lightened the mood.

 

I also understand everyone's different. C'est la vie.

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Hi Jen, Just wanted to let you know that it was nice of you to introduce yourself to us and appreciate your willingness to help and advise. You did so in a way that was genuine and respectful. Not sure what we are doing yet and will keep this forum in mind should we need it. Many thanks :)

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Hi Jen,

Just wanted to let you know that it was nice of you to introduce yourself to us and appreciate your willingness to help and advise. You did so in a way that was genuine and respectful. Not sure what we are doing yet and will keep this forum in mind should we need it.

Many thanks :)

Thank you!

I questioned whether I did the right thing or not, but only you can tell me that, so thank YOU. I wish you both the best in the future, and hope to see you around either at the hospital or on the forums. Good Luck.

Jen

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Jen, IMO you did the right thing. You were trying to be friendly and helpful.

You can easily tell if someone doesn't want to talk to you and back off if need be.

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Jen16 I agree you did a lovely thing :)

I was approached at CBS by a lovely man too he was really reassuring. I think he could tell I was shitting myself with nerves lol! I actually felt like I was going in for a job interview and it must have showed. I even ended up touching where his port position was lol. :)

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Oh wow! Haha I wouldn't have gone that far, but to have majority of people say I did a positive thing, then to have the people I spoke to actually comment here on this page and say thank you as well, makes me happy. :D

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don't think Id approach but if I got into a conversation in a waiting room and the person seemed approachable about stuff Id ask if they had any internet contacts re the band. I gather that some people are very private. So far I usually am alone in the waiting room at my doctors. sometimes see people leaving as I'm coming in

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