Jump to content
supporting partner

Living with my bandit

Recommended Posts

Hi all - So its been a while since i've even logged into bandingtogether.com.au, but i guess i want to let people know how i've coped living with my bandit fiance.I have to start with, i couldn't be more proud of her, she's done and is still doing everything she needs to do get to her goal weight.We've had our ups and downs (mostly ups) and she's so much more happier than ive ever known her to be, she's more confident than ive ever seen her and much more comfortable with her body than ive seen her in the 4 years we've been together.She has had a couple of moments where he weight has plateaued and she's lost motivation, but for me that was a sign i needed to give her a little nudge, weather it be getting on the exercise bike or just going for walk with our son.The doctor has said she's doing really well, and we havent had any surgery related dramas at all, her scars have healed well, and i dont even notice them anymore, they may always be a reminder as to what was past, but there's no looking back for my little bandit.I feel that not only has the band helped her but its also helped me, helped me realise that i needed help with my own weight, i've never been big but i've always had a belly on me the makes me look 6 months pregnant, i work away and on site they provide fitness classes so ive been going to classes on a regular basis and eating a hell of a lot better than was (which is hard when you have a huge range of food to choose from every night) This is good because when im home my fiance cooks great food for us both and i eat it, im finding myself eating stuff i never would have thought id eat - and im learning to love it.If anyone out there is thinking about the surgery or if you're a partner of someone thinking about it - i recommend it, we thought long and hard about it for a long time and now - well the fact is i had my doubts but our quality of life style is so much better than ever before and for our little boy i think we made the right decision.If anyone has any question for me, feel free to ask.

She is lucky to have such a supporter in you :)

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Bless you.

I too am lucky to have a supportive partner and family. It really makes a difference.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

YES..I am also hoping that the commitment to a healthier me will rub off on my other half. He has been supportive in my decision to get a lap band - he could have been judgemental or freak out over the scars etc. But instead he focused on the positives, and basically left me to go and do what I needed.

 

He is classed as overweight/obese - but he is isn't what most of us would classify as FAT (just a BMI anomaly). He has skinny legs, wide shoulders - and what I am concerned about is the beer belly and moobs (man boobs). They are clearly an indication of other things that cause serious health issues (diabetes and heart related illness are in his family), and his motivation to address this is quite diluted. He wants the results but doesn't want to do the work. He is getting on a bit and he needs to be taking better care of himself before it becomes too hard. What is it about blokes that they think they are going to be invincible forever. Imply that they will be weak, at any point, and they are in denial - well mine is anyway :)

 

So how do you convince a bloke to:

 

  • Stop drinking so much beer
  • Take up strengthening exercises
  • Cure their obsession with peanut butter sandwiches, malteasers, chips and lollies.
  • Give up MANSIZE portions

I am setting a good example with food and drink in that I am cooking healthy meals for us, and I will have a drink with him - but 1 or 2 and thats it (and i note the calories in my diet diary tracker). But he eats faster than me (most people would east faster than us bandits), and is still hungry after dinner - so he goes and makes a peanut butter sanga and will have 3 or more beers almost every night (hahn super dry - so low card and only 99 cals in each).

 

He won't get as bad as to need a lap band  - but his BMI and weight are really not showing where his issues are.

 

Any suggestions?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Jaxy, I have a slightly different problem.  My husband has recently lost some weight as is now only a few kgs away from his ideal weight.  The problem is, he did it by basically starving himself over a few weeks.  Of course, the old habits creep in and he's now back to drinking Coke and snacking on biscuits and chips.

 

I had stopped buying any of those things for awhile (difficult over the holidays when we seemed to do nothing but snack), but he'd still go out and buy those things from the local corner shop.  His thing isn't beer, but wine.  

 

I think he's started to rethink his relationship with food to see that alternating bouts of starvation and junk food are not the way to go about it.  This is mainly due to my decision to have the lap band.   

 

He's really supportive...actually ecstatic that I'm doing something for myself (he gets frustrated when I put myself last).

 

I don't know how to get him to stop thinking about fads and trends and other short term diets.  He thought that we should get a fancy blender because he'd heard from a friend that having 'power smoothies' was the way to go.  Then he started talking about paleo diets.  I mean, I've gone through all of that thinking too...but I've come to realise that I need to just dial it down a bit...everything in moderation, concentrating on food that will give me the nutrients I need, not just the taste (texture, sugar hit, etc.) I want.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wish my hubby was supportive, he told me I was obsessed with the band the other day....ummmmm I probably am at the moment as ím having heaps of trouble with pain, reflux and no sleep :(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×