Jump to content
nats1978

lapband and school aged children

Recommended Posts

I am being banded on fri and have had my 10year old daughter come home after school today and after the usual how was your day she reviled to me that her "best friend" had made some comments at school about me and my weight. Until 2 weeks ago (when we took her away for our family weekend) I had only ever heard of her not met her as the girls had been skyping and chatting on the phone constantly. I had met her parents a week b4 our holiday and they seemed nice... but over the weekend we had a few issues with this girl like swearing ,no manners , and a bit of an attitude to having to get out of the pool and what time going to bed and being a bit of a mean kid by telling my daughter if they didnt do what she wanted shed call her mum to pick her up and take her home.. thus my 10year old having no one to play with..(my 17 year old also took a friend).. we also had a issue of finding that she had taken (stolen)some go cart vouchers from the front desk...but as both girls were there I have no proof who did it (although when confronted my 10year old daughter on her own did return them).. basically how do I explain to my daughter that being this girls friend is not good for her and I hate seeing her upset that her mum is being called "sooo fat". And as much as I want to not get involved should I say something to her parents? I didn't tell them about the stealing incident as I had no proof who actually took them and dont know them well enough to have an idea how they would take it. So im feeling extremely guilty that my weight has caused my daughters pain and bullying. What do I do? (apart from go back to school in a few months with my not so fat body and rub it in this 10year olds face!!Now im sounding horrible)

Any advise would be great

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i had the same problem with my daughter she was only 9 she has just recently turned 10. i sat down with her and explained that the things her friend was doing were not nice and got her to really think about it, the mother of the girl is a real b**ch so i knew not to bother confronting her, one of my girl friends is having problems with her from the police. anyways this young girl is acting exactly like her mother. When my daughter realised that the stuff this girl was doing and making her do were wrong she went and found other friends, she told me she would rather be lonely then get into more trouble with this girl. i recently went to the school and the girl saw me and ran up to my daughter nad said wow you mum isnt as fat anymore, to which my daughter replyed what's it to you i love her any way she is. i almost cried hearing her say that. 

so talk with your daughter see what you can sort out with her, alot of hte times the other parent wont care even if you do tell them.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your weight HAS NOT caused your daughter's pain and bullying. The bully has caused it. If your daughter didn't have an overweight mother then the bully would have found something else to bully her about. That's how bullies work. You ARE NOT responsible for the ignorance and discrimination of others.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Unfortunately kids are very mean and usually they are a product of their environment ... Just have a down to earth conversation with your daughter like you already have and maybe say sway her into finding someone new to hang out with .. 10 Such a difficult age and a very different era to grow up in . I don't ever remember having to worry about the stuff that kids are facing these days and at 10 years old its way to young to have dramas .. but that's the way society had gone with social media and the Internet .. Not to sound. Negative but I'm glad I won't be around in 50 years to see what the world has become .. Bring back the good ol days of kids running outside safely and learning from the older generation .. Anyway good luck I do feel for you :). .. Just be the best role model for her and give her lots of love to get her thought the difficult times ....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A similar thing happened to me when I was about 13.

My mum rang my friends mum to sort it out, and it ended up being worse off.

No-one wants to hear that their child is the cause, and it will become a game of blame each others children.

I have no real advice on how to handle this with your daughter, and I'm sorry that you're going through this, but I would NOT ring the other girls parents.

My mum thought she was doing the right thing, but ended up making my school life absolute hell! And reality was, I was just as much to blame as the other girl

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×