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Did you tell people prior to surgery or after or not at all?

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Just curious if you told friends and family prior to Sleeve surgery? Did you wait until after surgery to tell? Did you decide not to tell? If you dont tell people about the surgery, how do you explain the weight loss??? I don't want to tell anyone but I don't want to lie either, when people start asking questions????

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Beforehand I told:

My Hubby (obviously)

My bestie

My trainer

My shrink - I left her with a copy of my "worst case scenario directives"

My boss - wish I hadn't because she hasn't kept it to herself GGRRRR!!!

 

Since surgery I've told my mum; I didn't tell her before as I didn't want to worry her. Her only experience with anything like this was seeing what my cousin went thru years ago after the bypass surgery.... she struggles to this day to maintain weight and nutrition and my mum is SO worried for her! I've had a sleeve so it's different but still sounds pretty major when you explain what the procedure is.  My mum lives in QLD but came for a visit last week during my "mushies" phase so I had to tell her.  As I got to talk her through everything and she's seeing results, she's actually really proud of me and happy I've made the move.

 

As much as I love her, I didn't tell my sister as she has weight issues herself and is WAY too full of negative opinions about WLS. 

 

I didn't tell anyone in my wider social circle as I thought I had so many of my own feelings about the surgery that I didn't need to be managing everyone else's feelings too!  Funny.....  everyone I know seems to think it's ok to have an opinion about my weight/food/diet etc and I just didn't want to deal with their opinions/concerns.  WLS is a big move that has many challenges so I just decided to keep it mostly to myself.

 

I laid the "ground work" during the Optifast phase..... just casually telling people I was doing the meal replacement shake thing for a while and I've just kept up the pretence.

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It's hard to answer questions, especially when people start noticing that you've lost weight, I've lost 35 kg in about 7/8 months with the band and a lot of people are really starting to notice, and they want to know how I did it!! They all want the magic cure to weight loss so to speak, I tell them I work hard at eating better, eating less, eating more proteins and less carbs etc, all of which is true! But you still feel like you are lying, especially when they keep pushing. Good luck

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I told my best friend, my boss and one work friend. Haven't told anyone else, one work colleague has asked how i am losing weight and i just said i was eating less. My mum also noticed on skype (she lives on the other side of australia) that i was losing weight, told her i was seeing a new dietician that specialises in weight loss and that i was doing shakes for a little while and would then be focussing on smaller portion sizes. Unfortunately my parents always point out the negatives of things before even thinking about the positives, and they aren't the kind of people who i think would really understand wls. I currently don't plan on telling anyone else. Though i am a nurse and work with nurses and if i feel that i have to tell any of them i will, but only if any of them start thinking i have an eating disorder or something. I also have another good friend who i have considered telling, but like my parents i just don't think she will understand the whole wls thing.

In the past i did optifast and lost 40kg. I was extremely open about it, posted on facebook and everything. I did this coz i know a lot of people have negative perceptions about shake diets and i figured being upfront about it would prevent a lot of the negativity, and it did, everyone was really really supportive. Unfortunately a side effect of this was that all anyone ever wanted to talk to me about was my weight loss, it was like nothing else in my life existed and it didn't do good things for my head. Also had the problem of many people commenting on eveything i put in my mouth. I know everyone meant well but the pressure just all got too much to handle and didn't want to go through that again with the sleeve.

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I was originally very open with my family ( i have a terrific loving and supportive family, I am truly blessed), and my told my in-laws as well.. I did mention it to a few friends and my bestie was a bit negative at first and asked why did i just try to lose it on my own.. um hello, i did try! Anyway, to anyone who said that I said 'if i could lose it on my own, i wouldn't be considering surgery' and that shut them up! As it got closer to my surgery date I told more and more friends, all of whom were supportive.. Night before surgery I posted it on facebook for everyone to see.. I figured, why keep it a secret? What do I care if someone thinks I'm 'taking the easy way out'?? They probably thought worse things about my weight and if they want to be a negative about me taking a proactive and positive approach to managing my weight and health that that is THEIR problem.. IAlthough I am not shy of saying whats on my mind or confronting someone if they've been rude or negative so I can understand why some people would choose to keep it quiet.. it did enter my mind as well, 'what if i'm not successful, just like in the past and i end up not loosing weight' but I can't let 'what ifs' dictate my life..

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i told most of my family, kept it from some until we had meals together in the optifast diet then told them. told a couple of friends but told everyone ho'd listen once i was done lol, if they ask how i lost it i told them. i'm not shy :D

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I'm in the Pre-Opti Phase and due to be banded on the 18th June. I've only told my parents, my sister, my inlaws and two ladies at work. I'm not going to tell anyone else at this stage. As much as I want to - I don't

want to hear the whole "you don't need surgery" or "just eat better and workout more". Blah Blah Blah. Been doing that for years and clearly I need more help than that. Do whatever makes you feel comfortable :)

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I don't give a rats arse what people will think of me and how I lost the weight-I scream it from the rooftops and am very proud to be a sleever-I take the philosophy in life that the more people know about something the less likely they are to judge other people they meet with the same issue-so therefore why hide it-I'm big and ugly enough to stick up for myself and I guess the wave of sleevers to

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At the moment my Surgery is with 3 people my mum and dad &  manager due to time off work &, I have my Bypass surgery booked for July 25.

At the moment I dont want Mr negatrons telling me not too do it!! or try tell me what to do :).

 

I will deal with the rest of them later  :rolleyes:  I already struggle with nosy people wanting to know everything thats happening in my life this ones mine:)

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I told my fiance of course, and my parents. I specifically asked my fiance not to tell anybody, especially his family. As far as I know he has only told his work supervisor who was nice and just a bit curious. Otherwise im glad nobody knows. Makes it much easier to go through in private

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I havent told anyone anything, i was sick with the 'flu' for a week. All people know is that im working out and eating properly hence the weight loss. I dont think its peoples business.

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I am very, very lucky to have very supportive family and friends, so my parents, brother, aunties and uncles and very close friends know. I figured they would all know eventually anyway. It hasn't been there reactions I have had to deal with but explaining what Lap Band is exactly to them.

 

I also found out when telling people that they would say, 'oh yeah, I know someone else who has had that done'. So the was when I realised it was a lot more common than I first though!

I also have asked them all to not tell other people, I will do that when and if I am ready to. It just depends on the level of trust you have with each person and if you want to tell people.

 

It's your life, your body, your decision. Tell what or who you feel comfortable with.

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Only my parents, sister, brother and SIL knew about the surgery.  Told others after I returned to work or they figured it out themselves.

 

I'm happy to tell if they ask.  Everything has been nothing but supportive of my decision.

 

I get a lot of patients at the surgery ask me about the procedure and I've given them my surgeons details.  Not sure if they have actually gone to see him, but if they do, I should get a commission LOL.

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Hi all, thanks for all your feedback. I am a few weeks pre surgery and only my Husband knows what is going on. I just don't want to deal with everyone else's opinion and advice before the surgery. I am being selfish and focusing on me at this time. I am sure I will tell family in the future, but for now i am just trying to stay sane and focus on getting through the next few months. Only a few weeks to go, starting to get a bit nervous now.

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There's a huge difference between "selfish" and "self-nurturing" matie, which is the first step on the path to a better healthier and happier you!

 

Nerves are totally normal as this is a huge undertaking, but every step will teach you something and will be totally worth it!! Focus on the positive and imagine how fabulous you are going to feel in your new bod :D

 

Hi all, thanks for all your feedback. I am a few weeks pre surgery and only my Husband knows what is going on. I just don't want to deal with everyone else's opinion and advice before the surgery. I am being selfish and focusing on me at this time. I am sure I will tell family in the future, but for now i am just trying to stay sane and focus on getting through the next few months. Only a few weeks to go, starting to get a bit nervous now.

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I am only telling hubby and my sister. As far as rapid weightloss questions.... I will tell people I'm staring the optifast diet about a month before I go not surgery because it would make sense the weight would drop off on that diet:-)

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I have only lost 11 Kg since starting optifast so the weight loss is not too obvious, yet.

Told the GLW, daughter, MIL (who lives with us) and my GP (who suggested it)

I did tell 2 really good friends (couple) who have bought me random food at outings in the past, mainly to avoid future awkward situations.

One person has figured it out.

 

One person is incredibly dogged in trying to find out why I went to hospital!

The rest of my friend and associates haven't noticed and therefore haven't asked.

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I've only told my Hubby, my bestie and my sis - not telling anyone else - it's none of their business and I don't want to be told that I should just try harder - I've tried for long enough and this is going to make ME happy, and more to the point, healthy!

 

...I may tell my parents once it's done but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it!

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I am 3 mths banded and still only my husband and one boss of mine knows. I have managed to keep it under wraps easily. The initial weight loss was due to 3 of us at work each trying a different diet - mine was Opti. I actually initiated this little challenge and the girls took it up happily. they too lost some weight and were so wrapped up in thier own diet challenges i flew right under the radar. I have lost around 14kg but have hit a brick wall with loss for nearly a month now, so it is all so easy to keep private. Actually I visited our daughter in Dubai, met up with our son in Budapest and have had many BBQ's and dinners out with friends and I have got through with no one even taking a bit of notice.

I sometimes feel we over think things and if you just act normally, but "on a good diet plan" in front of your friends and family they really are not that interested in how much you are putting in your mouth. Keep them talking and they will just not notice.

Next fill in a week. Hoping this gets the weight moving again. Right now I am at what I would consider a maintenance level as no major loss, however no gain so that is good I suppose.

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I told my husband and mum before hand! My children and immediately after wards! I'm five years down the track and have still only told a handful off close friends! I just don't want them watching me and thinking every time I go to the toilet during and after a meal that I'm going to throw! I did tell one friend who I thought was a close friend and was tipping the scales at 120kg+ she turned and told me I'd taken the easy cheats road! Bull crap I did, my decision was easy but well researched and informed and it was hard work! Jealousy is all I can put it down to! I just wish I'd found this forum earlier! It's been so helpful with my recent issues!

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I told hubby, bestie, a banded friend and a very overweight friend who was very depressed about her wight. When people ask how I have lost it I tell them " it's vey boring I'm afraid. Diet and exercise. I have a dietician who sets my meals" which s 100% true. I sometimes feel a little guilty when people tell me I inspire them, but if I can inspire them to make a healthy hide then great.

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I just told my husband and my sister one day I was very unwell and told a so called friend at the time not she hasn't been a true friend and she has told others so be very careful when you tell sad you can't trust friends!!

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I just told my husband and my sister one day I was very unwell and told a so called friend at the time not she hasn't been a true friend and she has told others so be very careful when you tell sad you can't trust friends!!

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