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Beth

Why Are People So Delusional??

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Looking at your profile pic, you're obviously a really attractive lady - and to top it off, now your a much slimmer really attractive lady - I'd lay money that she is sooooo jealous of your looks, and the fact that she doesn't have what it takes to lose weight herself !

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Anyway I saw the psychologist this morning and I spoke to her about the increasing number of people who now are pressuring me to not lose any more, even though I still have 20kg to go. She said most of them are just jealous and feel threatened by my success. I thought that the reminder of that might make you feel a bit more relaxed around this girl.

 

Take it easy and enjoy every bite of that salsa *hug*

I wonder if people get comfortable with us being a big size and have trouble associating us with a normal sized body. It's not really about us being too small but having their psyches adjust to the person we are rather than memories say we should look like.

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I would just do what Karin suggested and call her up on it. "Well that's a very RUDE thing to say. Why are you so concerned with MY food choices?. I follow my dietician's advice, and I am a healthy weight, so i dont appreciate you commenting every time I open my lunchbox, thanks. What I eat is none of you business.

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I wonder if people get comfortable with us being a big size and have trouble associating us with a normal sized body. It's not really about us being too small but having their psyches adjust to the person we are rather than memories say we should look like.

 

Interesting and I agree Von, people don't normally have issues with sizes of people they've just met, but if there's a change for the better.... Then some can start showing their own insecurities, like what's probably happened in this case I'd say.

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Ahhhh....see she's proof  you can eat too much salad!

S

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Ahhhh....see she's proof  you can eat too much salad!

S

 

LMAO - LOVE it Shorty!

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why are you allowing her to continue doing this?   just a thought. You havent indicated a problem with it to her so she probably doesnt realise its a bit rude and offensive. Sounds like shes using your lunch as a conversation starter - just not in a very good way.

 

Theres plenty of ways to tell her to knock it off without be offensive.

 

I dont think this woman is vindictive or evil - you probably just havent been direct enough with her.

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You're right, she isn't vindictive or evil. She makes comments about everything whether she's involved in the conversation or not. She's just nosey. So because she isn't attacking me personally I don't feel the need to reply. I just get frustrated by it, particularly as I grew up a diabetic child, and constantly had people telling me what I should or shouldn't be eating, even when they had no idea about what was acceptable for me to eat.

 

I have thought about saying something back, but it would just be mean. Out of respect for my work environment, I don't think saying something would be the right thing to do. If I'm feeling bullied or picked on, I know I can go to my team leader and they will take action. It's a huuuge part of the policy of the bank I work for to make sure co-workers feel safe and not picked on. So in the back of my mind, if I felt I was truly being targeted, that would be my course of action.

I just think this person suffers from a bad case of blabbermouth.

 

I'm just training myself to really get better at ignoring the thiings that aren't worth paying attention to if life, particularly when it comes to comments on my food or weight. There are select people who get to say things, everyone else can just get lost. I've spent too much of my life letting insignificant people affect my feelings. And I think it's working, because even when she says things like that I just don't feel worried about my food choices at all. There are two of her close friends in the lunch room on the same day I'm enjoying my salsa who are eating chips and deep fried schnitzel drowning in gravy and she doesn't bother with them.

 

Without sound rude, I definitely feel when people seem to go out of their way to comment on your life, it's usually some sense of jealousy or frustration that they don't have what you have, because they feel they deserve it more. I don't think she knows I'm banded, but I'm very open about it at work so there's no worry to me even if she does. It's just part of working on a floor with 150+ people... Gonna be a few you don't get along with!!

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I keep these things really positive; I just do a bit of reverse psychology and say, 'Oh Yum - I'm LOVING it! AND it works for me!' 

 

But if she keeps it up, just say 'OMG! Wait until I give you my new deep fried mars bar recipe!! You'll LOVE it too!'

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I think it's hard for 'normal' people to relate to what it's like have a banded stomach - I too would have been astounded to see a grown person surviving on what I was surviving on. There's definitely an element of jealousy - especially among women who struggle with draconian diets, exercise, boot camps...meanwhile I was perfectly content with a small tin of tuna and losing more weight in a week than they did in a month. And initially, I wasn't even exercising. Hell, I'd be jealous too. But I was always open about the band; I didn't want to make people (especially ones who struggled with their weight) feel a sense of failure thinking I was somehow adorned with miraculous will-power. I wasn't and never have been, hence the band. Most people understood and were supportive...except for my (ex) best friend. It's usually those closest to you than can turn the sourest. 

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Grrrrrrr...... Painful woman........ I would look at her meaningfully and say, "could you please repeat that" and when she does just shake your head. Put this one in her place. My meal times are sacred. Don't let her take away your enjoyment of food.

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I think it's hard for 'normal' people to relate to what it's like have a banded stomach - I too would have been astounded to see a grown person surviving on what I was surviving on. There's definitely an element of jealousy - especially among women who struggle with draconian diets, exercise, boot camps...meanwhile I was perfectly content with a small tin of tuna and losing more weight in a week than they did in a month. And initially, I wasn't even exercising. Hell, I'd be jealous too. But I was always open about the band; I didn't want to make people (especially ones who struggled with their weight) feel a sense of failure thinking I was somehow adorned with miraculous will-power. I wasn't and never have been, hence the band. Most people understood and were supportive...except for my (ex) best friend. It's usually those closest to you than can turn the sourest. 

 

Sorry to thread steal - but this is something that I am actually really worried about. a few year back when I was on a health kick and doing well one of my closet friends got super sour and competitive. I will be getting sleeved when she is 7 month pregnant so will hopefully losing the majority of the weight while she is getting bigger. I don't know how to tell her :(

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A real friend will support you. She will be wrapt up in her new world with bubs she prob won't even notice to start with. Just remain really positive, try not too dwell on your weightloss too much and turn the conversation back to her and bubs and one day she will just realise you look amazing.

I don't mention my band unless I'm out and people comment I don't eat enough or someone says your looking good. I just crack on and do it. It's no one else's business. Xx

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I had a guy at work who is very overweight keep telling me I was eating the wrong food, not enough blah blah.  Meanwhile he would brag about his "salads" which were coleslaw drenched in dressing, potato salad drenched in dressing and creamy pasta salad drenched in dressing.

 

So I calmly got the My Fitness Pal App out and scanned the barcodes of his salads and told him the caloric value of his lunch and other nutritional gems like sodium, fat, etc that the app gives you and then worked out the value of mine.  I then said you know I've learnt a lot about nutrition recently if you'd like any pointers let me know and I'm happy to share my wisdom, especially as I've lost half the weight I plan on losing.

 

He's not said a word since, but has stopped with the creamy pastas which I take as a victory as he is seriously on the verge of a heart attack.  We have voluntary health checks at work and they told him go straight to a cardiologist do not pass go do not collect $200 but he hasn't really taken it seriously.  He thinks his blood pressure tablets will help... 

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t_elle - the guys an idiot, you don't stuff around with the heart. my hubby died of a heart attack. He was 45, a fit and strong panel beater, had lost a bit of weight (he a bit round the middle) and he had lowered his cholesterol by changing his diet.

 

Re: the annoying woman. I would honestly just say (in the nicest not sarcastic way) that you have an issue with me what is it? I don't appreciate your comments on my food etc.

 

She needs to be put in her place and I do not think it has to be done in a mean way. If she keeps saying something after you told her how you feel then going to your team leader might be an option. She might not get to you but maybe someone else might feel bullied but not confident enough to do something about it. I think women can be so nasty and horrible to other women. It is sad as we should be lifting each other up and supporting each other. Its hard being a women.

 

Re: friend and the sleeve. If she is worth anything she will support you otherwise she really isn't a good friend.

 

peace

 

ps - how do I put on a ticker. I did a search and it came back with nothing?

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