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Hello everyone,

 

My lap band surgery is booked for January 7 2015 with Professor Paul O'Brien. 

 

I am having a friend take me to the hospital and pick me up once I'm all finished. I haven't told anyone about the surgery except my father, who lives overseas, and am reluctant to tell my friend the real reason I am getting surgery... Do you think it will be possible to get in and out of the hospital without my friend finding out I'm having lap band surgery?

 

I know how silly this sounds, that I should just be happy I am finally getting the surgery and not keep secrets. However, having been judged for years about my weight, I don't really want to be judged for having weight loss surgery.

 

What are everyone else's thoughts and experiences? Thank you.

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Its a very personal thing. Only my husband and mother know, and one close friend who lives in the same town as me who has her band in 4 years ago, I really needed their support, but if you feel you will cope solo then go for it I say.  Congrats on your date.

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I agree with Zen. It's such an incredibly personal and for me, emotional journey. My hubby, mum, dad and sister kniw and my boss and that's it. I'm telling anyone. I've told my colleagues that I'm having my hernia fixed!

I'm booked in for January 19th!

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Tell her it's a small gynae procedure, or a hernia repair. You'll be on shakes before and after the surgery, so when the weight loss becomes noticeable, tell them the shakes worked well for you.

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hey twink I actually had a small I cm hernia which was repaired at the same time, so I will go with hernia repair should anyone every tweek, which I doubt they will.

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Yeah, you'll be fine.  My son picked me up from the hospital and he had no idea.  He heard 'women's issues' and he didn't want to know about it!

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I reckon "gynae" is a good cover because any sticky beaks generally won't ask any more, unless they want to tell you all about their prolapse. (Urgh).

 

If you work in healthcare I'd go with Hiatus hernia repair: it is a very similar operation in terms of incisions and post op pain, fluid diet etc. Just tell them you had terrible reflux. That's what I went with and no-one turned a hair.

 

Interestingly I'm now at the point that when people ask me what I have done to lose so much weight I tell them I had WLS. Especially if they are also bigger people, as I reckon at least some would be considering it. With my medical friends I tell them it's evidence-based weight loss, and they're free to look up the evidence for themselves! Some of my colleagues have worked it out: "hiatus hernia' surgery followed by weight loss and an odd scar (the port).

But yeah, at the start I didn't want anyone to know.

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I had my surgery on Monday and the only people who know are my husband and a close friend. I am also very sensitive about it and feel that until I'm well on my way, I don't want anyone to know.

I may or may not end up telling more people, I'll just play it by ear.

But there seems to be loads of fantastic support here which is so helpful.

Prof. O'Brien did my surgery too :-)

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I know how you feel! I'm a secret bander and only a few people know and I am happy keeping like that and it's been 3 or so months and I haven't had an issue with it still being a secret at all. Good luck all the best x

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I don't think she will find unless your friend goes into the hospital. Nurses or doctors or even the ward may tip them off. My relatives found out my sister had a lapband when she was in hospital for an unrelated event and the nurse or doctor blurted that it wasn't lap band related.

 

I wouldnt say to your friend - pick me up at this time, as delays always happen. I'd just say, "is it okay if I call you when the procedure is over" and explain that it could be between x and y time.

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I agree with the above hiatus hernia story. Also, given the date of your surgery, with your upcoming weightloss you could even say it's your New Years resolution to lose weight so you're kick starting it with shakes and then going to halve your portion sizes once your stomach gets used to the small portions of the shake diet.

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I have told my Mum and brother (was hoping that he could come over from Sydney seeing as he isn't working and I thought that he still had heaps of frequent flier points, but he wasn't keen on coming - geeze I'd give hiom or one of his kids blood, a kidney or part of a liver if they needed it...) that I have ovarian cysts again, and  that may need to be operated on (again), and that I'll know more when I see the surgeon...

 

Kind of a white lie, but kind of true.  I had 3 removed in June (turns out they were stuck together between the ovary and the fallopian tube and had only shown up on the scan as one cyst so the surgeon got a surprise!), and now have 2 cm follicles on both ovaries (I think that is courtesy of the Mirena IUS put  in for endometrial hypertrophy at the same time) and will ask the surgeon doing my sleeve if he could please remove them if they are still there seeing as the other ones played up for > 25 years...

 

I am going to get a taxi to and from the hospital as I am having a sleeve and will be in for a couple of days and (hopefully) the hospital won't insist on someone picking me up.  I found it hard recently getting friends (neighbours) from my street to take me to Emergency ( 5 mins away and to just drop me off) with chest pain "Oh, we are going out in the afternoon"  "oh, I haven't had a shower yet", so don't want to ask.

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I had my surgery with Prof O'Brien as a day surgery (was first off the rank at 6am) and caught a cab home that day around 3pm with no issues.

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I didn't want a lot of people knowing there are only a small group of people that know at work and in my friend circle and still a lot of people that don't know.

I don't want to broadcast it.

If it comes up when I am out eating and drinking with people then I may tell someone if they ask what's going on, but I do get a bit embarrassed about it.

Especially when you are refused a doggy bag at a restaurant and are refused so you have to pull out the whole "I have had weight loss surgery and can't eat my meal!!!" comes up :(

but a small price to pay for feeling good :)

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Hey everyone!

I'm the same, not really planning on telling anyone other than my close circle of friends and family.

I don't plan to tell my boss though cos he's such a blabbermouth. All my boss is going to get is, I'm going on sick leave for 2 weeks! 

Mizmizzy1 I really appreciate what you had to say about the restaurant, that's what I'm worried about, but I guess you just have to say it an move on. I feel like, for me, it's going to be disclosed on a need to know basis. 

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Totally get why people would want to keep this secret. I have gone the opposite, everyone at my work knows and my family/friends.

 

I have just found it so much easier not to hide things and nobody asks me why I'm eating such small meals - they all know and people are very supportive making positive comments about my weight loss and questions about how things are going. I am really excited about how my 'hotness' is improving so it's nice to be able to talk openly with people about the success.

 

It hasn't even occurred to me that people would be negative about it but if they are that is their problem not mine and I'm pretty confident I would put a stop to their narkiness if it ever came up.

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I tell everyone and still do and I've never ever had a single negative remark, then again I'm 6 foot 1 with size 11 boots : )

I've even had some gym shirts made up so to get the message out there and just recently at the gym a big guy approached me to ask about the band.

It's time to have some new shirts made up cause these ones just hang on me now.

post-6750-0-34903000-1421336473_thumb.jp

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I tell people on a need to know basis, there's only one girl at work who knows (we are quite close) but i don't want my boss to know as its none of his business. As for Family and friends they all know and they have all been very supportive. 

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I was thinking about this issue (I'm a secret bander) and those that say how it's easier not to hide things because you are losing weight/eating smaller meals etc.  Nobody has seemed to notice anything different about me eating less etc.  I find people are more concerned with what's on their own plates.  I think we are too self-concious.  I went out last week with family and of course, as usual, huge meals were (mostly) served at a very nice pub.  My daughter's boyfriend orded a steak fillet so it wasn't a big meal at all for once and he was thinking of ordering something else.  My meal arrived (with 3 pieces of fish!!!!) so I offered him two of the fish and the salad on the side.  He was being polite and said 'nah, that's ok' but then my daughter said 'she never eats it all, just take it'...so he was happy to!  I was so happy I wasn't going to waste most of another meal as well.  But that's the first time someone has actually commented on how much I eat/don't eat (ie my daughter saying I never eat it all).

 

I've had stuck moments before but just excuse myself and go to the toilet.  No one assumes that I'm doing anything but going for a pee!

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