Jump to content
TraceyM

Feeling completely over it

Recommended Posts

 
I have gotten to the point that I want to get this band ripped out.  I sit down to eat a meal, and after a couple of mouthfuls I have to head off to the toilet to bring it back up.  I am at my wits end and feel like crying after each meal.  
 
I was going great guns and was steadily losing weight - despite really struggling over the last 6 months - but as the situation as gotten progressively worse the weight loss has got less and less (which in itself i was not upset about as I thought it would plateau after a while).  After seeing my Specialist Doctor and having fill removed on two separate occasions the weight loss has ground to a halt - primarily because my Doctor believes my body is simply getting enough nutrition to maintain itself and nothing more.  My GP says much the same, saying my body is not getting enough nutrition to increase my body's basal rate.
 
The days of sitting down to a meal and enjoying it are a thing of the past.  As a result I no longer go out for meals to restaurants or to friend's houses because I worry about rushing off to the toilet after two mouthfuls.  My Uncle, who has been very supportive up until recently, assumed my low to negligible weight loss numbers were down to be being lax and eating bad foods.  If only that were the case - tried to have some hot chips and got two down before me having to bring them back up.  Even soft foods like scrambled eggs or spaghetti bolognese are a no go - and to even think about having a lovely piece of fresh fish and some rice and salad is just an exercise in futility (and disappointment).
 
As much as I enjoy having some soup it is not what I want my entire diet to consist of - a liquid diet is - of course - an option but hardly makes for an enjoyable diet.  I do all the things I am supposed to do when eating, and even avoid some foods like red meat and breads.  My Doctor even had me get an x-ray (with a swallow element to it) when I last saw him, but I have not heard anything from him so I assume nothing was amiss with the band.
 
I know it sounds like I am whinging, but I feel like bursting into tears and on really bad days feel like it was the worst decision I could have made.
 
Thanks for letting me vent.

 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think you should call the doctor for the results.

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

I would have thought removing fill would help. I have no other advice as I'm pre band. What about removing all fill and slowly adding fill bit by bit? What does your surgeon say about this? If he is at a loss maybe a second opinion would be in order.

I hope some of the other bandits have some more advice for you.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I didn't want to read and not reply. What you're going through sounds awful.

I don't really have much advice, but maybe seeing your doctor again and explaining your frustration would help?

They might have suggestions on things you can do.

Nobody wants to live on liquids, but maybe you could start with them and work your way up slowly?

I tend to have trouble with things that are in the middle. I do better with either soups or crunchy things.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think a lot of us can understand your frustration...it's not any way to live.

As B'licious said maybe having all the fil removed for a bit then slowly starting up again may help.

Go talk to your doctor and get advice.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just a thought and this helps me a lot - I have a hot drink 10 mins before a meal to melt the gloop that can build up at the top of the band.  I find if you have 2 mouthfuls and then you need to throw up its because the food is sitting on top of the gloop and cant go down.  If I can swallow 1/2 cup of tea I know my food is going to go down.

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm sorry to hear you are so frustrated, although the eating limitations you describe sound (mostly) pretty normal to me. Personally, I can't process rice, pasta, hot chips - I just can't chew them down enough to get past the band. Exceptions are risotto, where the rice is very soft (not al dente). Likewise, bolognese is fine, just no spag. To me, these are just things you have to give up post-band.

When you say "after a couple of mouthfuls", I wonder if your mouthfuls are tiny and you're chewing reallly slowly. Speaking for myself, I struggle with this at every meal. Supposedly, we should stick to eating tiny mouthfuls with an oyster fork, and chew it for a full minute. I think this is really hard to achieve - especially when you are eating with other people, and especially when you want to wolf something down! But, again, it is a fact of the band. If I didn't stick with this regime (roughly), I would bring up the food too after a few mouthfuls. 

I'll admit that eating out is not as fun as it used to be - forget all-you-can-eat places or degustation menus!!! But I find it all small price to pay for the weight loss. 

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Tracey

 

Firstly, assuming your ticker is accurate, congrats on the weight you have lost, 34kg is certainly no small amount!

Medical centres are notorious these days for not following up patient scans/reports. It's not their fault per say, they are under staffed and under paid. Given the awful time you are experiencing, I would contact them immediately and find out the results. Then if it is something problematic, give them a mouthful for not contacting you sooner!

 

Foods... given the many different things affecting a bands tightness (not just fill amount), I find my food intake changes weekly. Whether it be emotional, stress, my physical activity for the day (more of that = less food intake possible for me), pre-menstral, menstral and post-menstral (sigh lol), climate (this is one I am only just now experiencing with winter) and of course the basics of food like textures, raw, cooked etc.

 

I found if I eat bread, my weight doesn't move. I can eat toast, but my weight doesn't move. Solution? No bread, no toast. As apostrophe said above, it's a necessary evil of a lap band. I can eat pasta and rice BUT in saying that, I do what henrywashere said, order hot water/black tea at the cafe or restaurant before food arrives. Melts the goop, prepares the band and surprisingly it aides the food quite alot.

 

Most surgeons say don't drink and eat together. I do. I sip warm water if I'm having a hard time with something, but mostly I avoid hard time foods. Sure I'd like a hamburger or steak sandwich, but the way I see it.... I'm here with my band. I spend a couple of years getting this right, I get healthy and feel good. Yep I will miss a few birthday cakes, steak sangas etc along the way but I feel better and look better.

 

Kimmykay's idea to unfill and restart is also a good one too. My Psychologist and Dietitian both have pushed the point to me to never get to a place where food is no longer enjoyable and you resent it. But one thing I have had to rethink is the company I keep when I go out! As that is now more my focus than food and if my ole fav's are off the menu for me, I do not want to sit with boring ppl! lol

 

Good luck x

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As you know Lapbands aren't easy and never straight forward.

 

I've been banded for 4 years plus and although my whole band journey has been extremely easy some days I wish I never had mine, like you I sit down to a meal and eat 2 mouth fulls and that's it for that meal, I don't throw up but I do sometimes fill up really easy.

 

Oh how I wish I could eat a full steak again but I know that without my band I'd be dead now and I know that whether I like it or not the band saved my life so wanting a healthier life and a longer life I put up with the occasional inconvenience  and  continue to live and be really healthy. 

 

I see we have 2 choices, do we want to be healthy or not?

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just want to share my morning with you - I was running late before work no time for a cuppa so just grabbed my breakie and took it to work for me.  I had been thinking the last couple of days that everything was going so swimmingly along and I seemed hungry more often I would book myself in for a small fill.  Anyhow I go to work have a cuppa soon after getting there.  At 9.30 I think another cuppa is the go and then at 10 I decide well that all went well I am going to have a piece of Raison toast - why the hell I thought I could do that now is beyond me.  So I make my nice piece of toast and come back to my desk.  2 mouthfuls in I think hmm I don't think is going down that well - but what do I do keep swallowing it - at 3/4 I go I really don't like the feel of this but finish it.  FFS I am so stupid immediately I feel like there is a freight train trying to come right out of my chest and go omg what have I done and off to the loo I go for a bit of a heave - not 1 but 4 times to I feel like its all come back up.  Octopus slim the whole nine yards - what was I thinking - all while non shalantly going about my day without trying to arouse any suspicion to my toilet activities. 

The band is not all smooth sailing - this is a bad day - that goes with the good days that has allowed me to loose 20kg.  By lunchtime I was ok and had a nice bowl of vege soup and was fine for the rest of the day.  If however this was you day everyday I would be thinking a small unfill is what you need. 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×