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Nessa1977

Eating in public...still awkward.

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I'm 3 1/2 years post sleeve.

Yesterday had department Christmas lunch.  Everyone brought something to share.  Lunch was at 12pm.  I was drinking, so made the excuse that cos I've been drinking, I can't eat yet.  Not everyone knows about  my surgery, as it's not something that actually has come up in cove ration (btw, this is my other work place).  Plus, didn't want to stand around in a tiny kitchen trying to make conversation...yeah, I'm a snob lol.

I prefer to work through lunch anyway, so I can eat slowly.

Anyone else still get embarrassed or feel awkward when out in public or dining with people who don't know you've had surgery?

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3 years post banding, and I'm constantly awkward and embarrassed when eating out. No one knows I'm banded and I'm always getting comments on how little I eat. I'll eat half a plate of something, and there's always someone who comments. When I take my time, and I'm not feeling stressed, I can usually manage half to three quarters of a (not huge) serving and someone will no doubt query why I haven't finished everything on my plate. I don't know why everyone is so concerned with how much I do or don't eat! Worry about your own plate! I've become the queen of sneaking food into napkins and into my handbag :lol:

I'm actually considering asking my surgeon for some fill out to make social occasions less awkward. Everything is about getting together for food these days, and there's only so many times I can use the excuse that I've not long eaten/had a big lunch etc without people questioning me, or just pushing me to eat more. I'm pretty happy with my weight, and have remained stable for over 12 months, if I find it negatively affecting me I'll just get it put back in.

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I told everyone everything from day 1. Three years on and no one even bothers to ask or look. Even at work functions I can eat as much or as little as I want and no one cares. I felt it would only be a big deal if I made it a big deal. Seemed to have worked out well.

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I used to be tiny before I fell pregnant and then I not only ballooned but got hit with an under active thyroid too. I constantly had comments on how I wasn't eating much, etc and it used to irritate me so much. It was enough for me to feel full so what does it matter. 

As for embarrassment I get that now when I eat out due to my size. I feel like I'm being judged and people are thinking why is she eating she clearly doesn't need to, etc. Dont feel embarrassed for not eating a huge plate. You have made a decision to undergo surgery and made the right lifestyle choices to get where you are. If anyone comments on you not eating much just say you might have a bit more later on or you're saving room for dessert. 

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Reading all the posts people make on a regular basis, I can see a large proportion of people suffer serious self esteem issues. I of course have them too, but this surgery and the results from hard work with diet and exercise since the surgery is something EVERYONE here should be proud of - I know I am.

Everyone needs to stop worrying about external validation. Thats what it really is at the end of the day. People are scared what others think of them. You will never win. Before your op you spent your life worried what people think because the fat person is eating a plate of food, after the op you worry about what they think of the person who has lost piles of weight only eating a little food. Point being - you need to stop caring what other people think to that extent. If necessary, speak to your GP about some counselling - you can get free therapy sessions so it doesn't have to be at a cost.

Everyone who goes through these surgeries and works hard to continue their weight loss journey should allow pride in themselves for what are achieving. Stop worrying about what the rest of the world thinks - you do this for yourself, not for the world. 

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I'm going to have to disagree with you on this one David, I'm not seeing a trend of a need for external validation here, or even really caring what others think, I'm seeing an eagerness for people to protect their privacy, as is their right.  

I've only shared my journey with a very close friends and family as I like to keep my private business just that, private.  As a result, I try to avoid behaviours or signs that might cause people to question my eating habits, as i just don't want to go down that path with them, as I said, it's none of their business so if I can avoid them asking questions, I prefer that to having to lie to people.

I've learned a few tricks to avoid the tiny amount I eat (in comparison) coming to people's attention, such as eating extremely slowly so I'm not full before people are only a quarter of the way through their meals, offering people a taste of whatever I'm eating thus offloading some of my food onto their plates, and folding my serviette so it covers most of the plate when I'm done, so no one really notices how much (or how little) I've eaten.  The only time I've really found it awkward is when the waiter or waitress (or proprietor or host) asks if there was something wrong with the food and I try to reassure them that there wasn't.  In all honesty, I get a massive kick out of seeing how much I've eaten to compared to everyone else (before I cover it with a serviette!).

I love eating out now as much as I did before, if not more, because I now leave without feeling overcome and about to lapse into a food coma!

I'd love to hear others' tips for eating out and getting away with not eating much, lay them on me guys! :)

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I agree Lily-Belle, for me, it has nothing to do with what other people think of me, rather...just mind your own business! I also get tripped up when wait staff ask my if there was anything wrong with my food!

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I couldn't be bothered explaining to a bunch of people I barely know recently so told them I'm watching my weight so a practicing portion control.  They were a particularly bitchy bunch of people who had just eaten a very large amount of food so it was a silent victory looking at their guilty lil faces...  (round 1 me!)

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Like I said, this is my other work place and not really close to anyone there.  I was overhearing a conversation yesterday with one coworker saying her sister and BIL are due to have sleeve....I was like "Do I butt in and say that's what I had done" or not....I didn't.

Here at my other work place, everyone knows and they were very supportive but still curious LOL, even after all this time.

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Use the portion control excuse, especially as it's the festive season and we're going to be having so many eating opportunities.  Just tell them you've promised yourself you would practice portion control so you can really enjoy the festivities and not feel guilty.

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It sure can be a problem, last night we had our Xmas party and all I could eat was one sausage and a can of Pepsi.

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I'm totally on board with David. I'm over worrying about what others think. That's their issue.

You should be totally proud of your achievements, and you should never feel you should have to explain yourself to anyone ever, because you don't. That's how you protect your privacy, just don't tell!

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If someone queries it, just look at their plate and say "How much did you eat?" or "Oh, I could never fit in the amount you've eaten!".

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LOVE IT mrs kaje! Total reversal, thats wicked

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