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Boganlicious

Secret sleevers

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Just curious if anyone here is a secret sleever and what you say if people comment on your portion being small, etc? Or even what you say if it's someone you don't know very well who doesn't know about your surgery. I can't really say "I just ate" when we go to my in laws for dinner regularly. I'm adamant I don't want them knowing and there's only so many times you can say you had a big lunch. My mum's freaking me out that it will be hard to hide. 

 

 

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You could say that you are trying to watch what you eat and by doing so you are eating a lot smaller meals but more frequently through out the day.

Reality is if its regular they will come up with there stories anyway you just need to rise above it and be happy with your new fabulous life.

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I'm sure my MIL and FIL would be supportive but my SIL would make passive aggressive remarks and I just don't want to deal with her cr@p. 

I'll just let them gossip about me behind my back. Better than having a confrontation with her. 

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i know people are talking behind my back, very few people know, i just let the others talk they dont know and reality is people who say are just jealous.

Just so you are watching what you eat as recommended by your doctor. 

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Tell them that you now have dietician who advises you what to eat and that portion size is now important.

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Thanks for the advice. 

I think my MIL would say something like "is that all you're having" not to be rude but out of concern. 

I know how my SIL would be as when my fiancé had to do a really strict diet for his fight (Muay Thai) she was incredibly rude about it. 

I don't need the negativity which is why I'm adamant I'm not telling them. 

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It's hard to hide. I lost nearly 50kg in 6 months. It's pretty easy to piece together for anyone with half a brain. If people ask me how I did it, I tell the truth - less food, better food choices, exxercies and less alcohol. it's not a lie either.

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It's hard to hide. I lost nearly 50kg in 6 months. It's pretty easy to piece together for anyone with half a brain. If people ask me how I did it, I tell the truth - less food, better food choices, exxercies and less alcohol. it's not a lie either.

If I knew my SIL would be nice I would be honest but I know her and I just don't want to have to deal with negativity because I will always defend myself. She already gloats over how thin she is while making awful remarks about people with weight problems. 

I like your response. It's basically the truth because as we know it's still possible to cheat even with WLS. 

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I have no problem with telling ppl, as I don't care about their opinion of me. But you don't have to tell them anything you don't want too. As for the SIL I wouldn't worry about her ppl like that have their own body issues and need to keep telling them selves and any one who will listen that they are healthy and normal and put down ppl who aren't. I would just say I'm trying to cut down on portion size as recommend by my doc/dietician and that you have been doing at home and find that you don't need much food. If the SIL has something to say about it, just shut her negative feedback down by talking over her about how well its going. Keep doing it every time she says something negative talk over her with something positive could be about yourself or about her hopefully your positive attitude will change hers.

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Thanks Juggalette_Naomi. You are probably right. She likely has her own problems hence why she needs to put down others as well as constantly gloat over how thin she is. 

Just an example - when we announced I was pregnant with our daughter she got this pissed off look on her face and didn't congratulate us. 3 months later she announced she was pregnant. We didn't know she had been trying for I think she said 5 months hence she was trying when we announced it and her reaction. Still not an excuse for her though when we were sharing happy news. 

 

 

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I've thought about this a lot in terms of people thinking weight loss surgery is "drastic" or that the sleeve is "permanent" and the band isn't - yes, the band IS permanent if you want to remain slim all our life - the fact that it can be take out is a technicality. Anyhow, I digress.  If anything were to happen to my band I think I would want to be sleeved. But i most definitely would NOT tell anyone but my husband. I can just picture my extended family now - oh, you don't need to do that, you're not fat anymore.  My mum would be frantic, etc etc.  I would simply say I'd had my band fixed up.  But then, I wouldn't have to explain my small portions as everyone is used to that.

However, I've never had anyone comment to me about what I eat in any sort of public situation.  I don't eat a huge amount compare to others but its not ridiculously small either.  I hate when people push for entree, main AND dessert or try to talk me into the banquet option. I just say I don't enjoy overeating and I"m not going to do it.  

I do get it though, i feel that way about cosmetic surgery.  I had a tummy tuck - I didnt really need one, I mean it made my tummy GREAT but it was already pretty good, that's just my body type, I never carried a lot of weight on it.  But I had the tummy tuck to remove a hideous scar left over from my ileostomy stoma, it was awful and twisted and I still wanted to wear a bikini.  That was explainable - there was a "reason" that I felt was something other than ridiculous vanity because I already had a flat stomach.

Where I'm at now I'm very pear shaped and I would dearly love lipo on my hips and thighs because to get them as slim as I like them, I have to be like 60kg which is a BMI of 19 - I got there once and yes, my ass looked great but you could count every single rib in my chest and sides AND back, my shoulder blades stuck out, you could see the tubing coming through my port and I looked absolutely gaunt in the fact.  I'm better at this weight with lipo. But I simply can't bring myself to do it and actually tell my family - I'd feel soooo vain.  I can't afford it anyway, but DH is adamant he would not keep it secrete from my mum and dad.  Myself, I feel I could sneak in a day surgery and some compression wear in the middle of winter.

Edited by jachut

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