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Lil'deb

Family comments

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I visited my partners family the other week...and his mothers comments are still rolling around in my head.

A bit of background....we were talking about food and she looks at me (quite disapprovingly I might add) and said...do you think its worth it, all this hassle....

I said yes...she replies...well it doesn't seem to be working very well!!!

Seriously, I could have slapped the smug look on her face.

I might also add I've lost 21 kg but it has taken nearly three years!

This is not an isolated incident mind you. My own family look at me and never ever compliment my success.

How do you guys deal with such negativity???

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I think you have to remain true to yourself. Both my husband and I are banded, it worked really well for me as I reached a BMI in the low 20's and have maintained it for about 8 years now.  My hubby lost 30kg and put back on 15 and has stuck at 105kg for years and years - his parents comment on it but in truth - he was 122kg - much more overweight than he is now and he would probably be 150 by now! In truth, he is only about 15kg overweight and sure, would like to lose a bit but doesn't care enough to make that happen, so he's happy enough.   I think people forget the weight maintenance part of it - how many people who get banded were just gaining more and more weight every year?  Its a VERY big deal healthwise to have halted that even if amazing weight loss does not occur.

The hard thing is, so many of us really hold in our hearts an amazing outcome cosmetically speaking, we want to look great, but that's not the whole story of what weight loss surgery is about.  My surgeon, when unfilling me slightly due to reflux commented that I had some leeway and I might maintain 6kg heavier but that it was better than having reflux - he's all about health.  In my head, I"m screaming NOOOOOOO, I would DIE if I gained another 6kg. 

I think everyone from the outside looks at it like that - what they see with their eyes. In truth, a 21kg loss is enough to result in some very big health gains, even if you've got another 40 to lose!  Its a great outcome.

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I've never had any negativity then again I was and still am big bugger, and you could use it as motivation to prove them wrong.

How big is his mother :) 

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My family have never really been interested in my weight loss either. They only ever mention if I have put on weight, not if I lose it. I suppose it would be different if they hadn't seen me in awhile. 

Stuff em. Do what makes you feel good :)

 

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Unfortunately the mental game is the toughest. You have to be able to seek validation only from yourself and not others, and to be able to have a "screw them" attitude. It is the hardest thing but try to build up your emotional armour and remember you're doing something great for yourself and if they can't be happy for you and supportive - they aren't worth your time or thoughts.

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