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Boganlicious

Hubby vent

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My husband doesn't think I can lose the weight without the tool of the sleeve. Ok fair enough. He does however want me try and see how I go. Again ok fair enough as it will give my body a chance to recover post c section and for the pregnancy weight to hopefully drop off (have only gained 5.45kgs at 31 + 3).

I am on a fb support group for the surgeon I want to consult with and one of the ladies who is at goal saw a psychologist (it's not a requirement) and highly recommends it both pre and post op. I brought it up to him and he said he doesn't see the point in going. 

I tried explaining that people have not only stretched their sleeves but also regained the majority of their weight from not choosing the right thing most of the time and that it's a tool. He still didn't get it. 

I'm just feeling frustrated because while he now supports the sleeve I don't think he realises how challenging it can be especially things like head hunger, trigger foods, etc. He lost around 30kgs before meeting me and seems to think it's really easy. He's also dropped more weight (but regained) to get down to a certain wright for fighting (actual fights at events not him picking on random people). 

He has also said losing weight is the easy part but maintaining it is the hard part. 

Does anyone have any advice? I'm very determined to get the weight off but his doubts don't help. 

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Hey Bogan,

Im sorry your in this sort of emotional situation, its always hard when our spouses debate us rather than just support us 100%.

I have all those worries that you have pointed out, will i continue to make good choices, will i always stop when im full, will i always be able to resist those temptations. 

I was seeing a phsyc for a while which helped alot, i cant explain why it helped but it did. She moved and i started seeing someone else who i didnt like, so im looking for someone new again. 

None of this process is easy, the surgery, the life adjustment, the judgments, the cost, its all hard. But in my opinion its worth it. For some people its easy to lose weight, my husband is also like that and its frustrating  lol. For me i chose to get the surgery (twice), and i dont regret one thing about it, i own my decision because it was mine to make. And if i stuff up, its my mistake also and i own it and do what i need to correct it.

 

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Hi Boganlicious,

Sorry you're having a tough time, and sorry also for being as blunt as I'm about to be... I think you should ignore your husband and do what you need to do. Some people do have capacity for great empathy, but for most, unless you've been there - and by 'there' I mean, battling a weight problem, and trying so hard but fighting yourself the whole way - then they don't get it. And clearly your husband doesn't get it. By that I mean, its good he is supportive and thinks the sleeve etc will help and he does have some experience of losing a lot of weight- but as for all the rest, we are all different, and you need to make the decisions for you, whether that is to sleeve now or wait, or to see a psychologist or not.  I see a psychologist regularly, and have found it really helpful. But that's not for everyone. What do you think would help you?

Anyway, I think anything that is making you super anxious or doubting yourself isn't good. And maybe if you have the support of someone such as a psychologist who can help with the emotional eating, and head hunger etc etc, than you wont have to rely on your husbands support as much and it may make things clearer for you.

Anyway, really wish you good luck with it all.

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