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eviljoy

November Bandits 2011

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Okay today I want to share a lesson in patience. The weight has been slow coming off recently and it is hard for me not to get caught up in the mind games and the feelings of failure. Perhaps I'm not doing it right, perhaps I'm not working hard enough, perhaps this is as far as my journey will take me and I should just learn to live with it. Be happy with the success I have, but not stress if things don't progress any further. To that I say balderdash.

I have to have more confidence in myself and accept that my motivation comes in ebbs and flows and that both are okay and neither will last for ever. It was my partners birthday yesterday and very early in this journey I had set myself the goal of 70kg on that day. Since then my psychologist talked me out of such hard and fast milestones as I tend to panic and freak out because of them, but I want to let you know that when I weighed myself yesterday I weighed in at 70.7kg so I am very pleased. All that anguish and anxiety were for naught. While yes it is possible that I could have lost more had I worked harder and been more focused, I think that my speed and style is working for me. I just need to remember to focus on the long haul and not the day by day (week by week) changes.

I am ready to set my new goal of 65kg for my birthday in January. That's less than one kilo per month, so I confident I can reach that.

For those of you who hear my numbers and think OMG, that it is so light, remember that I am VERY short. So even at 70.7kg I am classified on the BMI scale as being obese (only just). I am at the stage though where I have begun to put on muscle, so I am going to give BMI measurements away and just focus on waist circumference and fitness milestones rather than BMI. I'm not quite ready to give up weighing myself, although I suspect that I might tone and lose inches (fingers crossed) even if my weight doesn't move much anymore.

I hope that everyone is doing okay and that your head starts to catch up and really start to believe in the success you have had so far. I know that I still have the brain of a fat girl.

Shelle.

Ps, After the fill I had a month ago I felt like I was eating more. It took three weeks, but now it feels like it is working again. I finally feel like I am in the green zone again. I love that feeling, where food and the thought of food doesn't control your life.

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Hi guys,

Just thought I would let you know I was running (run/walk) in the 10km section of the Brisbane Running festival tomorrow. Wish me luck. I'll pop back and let you know how I went, but I am aiming for a 1hr 10mins - 1hr 15mins kind of time.

It is also only 4 weeks until the Bridge to Brisbane and 5 weeks until the Brisbane Stampede. Kinda nervous about that last one.

Other than that, life is okay. I still have my ups and downs. I haven't cracked the 70kg mark yet, still bouncing up and down around there though. I have another Psychologist appointment next week so that might help out a little. My next dieticians appointment is not until the week after the B2B. I should really start trying out some of the recipes in my Knife, Fork and Band book, as I am probably not getting the right mix of protein/carb/fat.

I hope you are all well and to hear how some of you are doing. Oh btw, I read an article about James Packer talking about his Band. Did you guys know he is a November Bandit too. Maybe we should get him on here to give his take.

Shelle

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Just a quick update. I did the 10km run in 1hr 9mins 53 secs, which is actually better than I was aiming for. Lets see if I can beat that time for the B2B in a month.

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I'm not sure if I am the only one who comes in regularly any more. Anyway, I'm going to unburden my soul regardless.

I think I need more fill. At least I hope that is what is required. Being in the green zone has me on top of the world and I feel like I can do no wrong. But then bad food choices start to creep in and I start to eat more. I freak out because I am never sure if it's a fill level thing or if I am just "failing" at the band.

I think I have an appointment soon anyway, but if not I am going to make one. I don't intend to tough this thing out. I should probably also make an appointment with the psychologist. I had to cancel my last appointment because my mum was sick.

I also need to get onto exercising again. That 6 week block of PT sessions is over, and I miss it. I was sick on the weekend so had to ski run club and climbing. That means I haven't done any exercise in a week and a half. I am so slack.

I am thinking of buying a bike and commuting to work twice a week. I'd save money on petrol and parking ( and PT sessions) but I am scared witless. Really not sure what to do. I don't want to waste the money.

Anyway life is a roller coaster. I hope you ate all well and I hope to hear from you all soon.

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Hi guys,

Well the Bridge 2 Brisbane was last weekend. I managed to scrape a few seconds off my time despite it being a hillier and much busier course. I was pretty pleased with my effort and so grateful to my super fit friend who ran beside me the whole way.

Yesterday I completed the Brisbane Stampede which is a 10km mud-run, obstacle course. I am so very chuffed with myself for getting out there and having a whole bucket load of muddy fun. It certainly would not have been on the agender this time last year. It was so physically demanding that the extra 30kg I was carrying back then would have made it impossible. I love my new fitter, stronger, healthier and much lighter body.

Band wise things are going okay. I had another 0.2 mL fill last week. I am hoping that I am edging close to the green zone again. Mum has been very ill these last couple of weeks and so there was a period of emotional eating in there. But I recognized it for what it was and didn't get too upset or concerned by it. I have my psychologist appointment soon so that should help things along again.

This journey certainly does have its ups and downs but I am oh so very happy that I had the courage to take it.

Please, please let me know how you are all doing.

Shelle.

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Well I was down to 77kg and soaring to m goal I was so happy and felt like I would reach my oal of 70 by my wedding back n August. However as wedding approached I became stressed with work and family balancing and managed to maintain weight of 80kg on my wedding day gaining 3kg in the months before wedding rather than loosing.

Now wedding is over I am in a position of authority t work but yet suppressed by a control freak manager so not respected by others and made to look stupid long story short I hate my job now! Wedding is over been trying to get a mortgage which has fallen through so I've been comfort eating I know it's cause I'm not in the green zone I could eat large meals and still feel hungry s it my head my destinity to fail or a inner hate of myself I don't know. But I'm fearful of going back to the surgeon as I'm now 85kg I've gained I'm a failure and I can't face that.. So I keep fighting saying ill loose the weight get back to 77kg then go and ask for help cause then I would have just maintained and not gained and failures. But problem is I start then day three I feel sick with hunger and depressed and it all takes ver and I give up again oly to restart the following Monday. Problem is this has been my life since August an I'd can't pull myself out.

I don't know wat I want to do...well I do I just want to sit cry and be miserable but that's not normal behavior and I think I'm stuck in slf pity mode when all I have to lame is my self. I spent all this money on getting this yet I'm allowing obesity to still win. I have the tool but I'm allowing myself excuses to not use it.

Well that's my story of failure.... Hope everyone out there is doing better and I wish you luck. I had such sucessful to begin with now I. Just another looser who sabotaged myself. The band was never a cure a tool and I have not used it to its full ability in recent months.

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Well I was down to 77kg and soaring to m goal I was so happy and felt like I would reach my oal of 70 by my wedding back n August. However as wedding approached I became stressed with work and family balancing and managed to maintain weight of 80kg on my wedding day gaining 3kg in the months before wedding rather than loosing.

Now wedding is over I am in a position of authority t work but yet suppressed by a control freak manager so not respected by others and made to look stupid long story short I hate my job now! Wedding is over been trying to get a mortgage which has fallen through so I've been comfort eating I know it's cause I'm not in the green zone I could eat large meals and still feel hungry s it my head my destinity to fail or a inner hate of myself I don't know. But I'm fearful of going back to the surgeon as I'm now 85kg I've gained I'm a failure and I can't face that.. So I keep fighting saying ill loose the weight get back to 77kg then go and ask for help cause then I would have just maintained and not gained and failures. But problem is I start then day three I feel sick with hunger and depressed and it all takes ver and I give up again oly to restart the following Monday. Problem is this has been my life since August an I'd can't pull myself out.

I don't know wat I want to do...well I do I just want to sit cry and be miserable but that's not normal behavior and I think I'm stuck in slf pity mode when all I have to lame is my self. I spent all this money on getting this yet I'm allowing obesity to still win. I have the tool but I'm allowing myself excuses to not use it.

Well that's my story of failure.... Hope everyone out there is doing better and I wish you luck. I had such sucessful to begin with now I. Just another looser who sabotaged myself. The band was never a cure a tool and I have not used it to its full ability in recent months.

please go back to your surgeon for a fill you've done so well they see this all the time we all have those nasty demons go and get help don't let all your hard work go to waste. Now your wedding has been and gone seems like you have no goal perhaps set another event or goal to help get you motivated the past is past and you can't wind back but the future is here now move forward and be happy you deserve that.. Good luck keep your chin up and get to your Dr keep us posted

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Tamara,

Ohh sweetheart, I feel for you. I am so glad that you came in to let us know how you are doing, even if it isn't quite as good as you would hope. You have put on 8 kg from your lowest (most recent) weight, but you are still 15 kg's lighter than your heaviest weight. I know it is hard and you are feeling like a failure but you should really try and celebrate the success you have had.

Go back to your Surgeon, HE WILL NOT JUDGE YOU or call you a failure. His job is to get you into the green zone and if you are not there then he needs to do his best to get you there. I'd also recommend that you see your GP and maybe discuss the possibility that you are depressed. You have so much going on in your life, there is no wonder that you are having a few worries. A psychologist might be helpful in helping you battle all that negative self talk, as well as suggesting a few coping mechanisms that don't revolve around food.

It is so very easy to blame ourselves when things start to slide backwards and we start to make bad choices and eat larger meals and more frequently. But remember that these things happen when you aren't in the green zone. Try to remember back to what that felt like and imagine how awesome that would feel if you could be there again. Just because you make it to the green zone once, doesn't mean you will stay there for ever. Think of your band like a belt. If you have lost enough subcutaneous fat to require your belt to come in a notch you have probably lost enough visceral fat to require some more fill.

It really is good to hear from you again. Coming in here helps me a lot.

Shelle

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Just wanted to announce that I will be joining you as a November Bandit :) I got my surgery date yesterday, and I'm getting mine at Ashford hospital in Adelaide, by Dr Paul Anderson, on the 15th Nov :) I'm soooo happy and excited, I've already bought some clothes that are too small for me so i can wear them later :P

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Leanne,

That's wonderful and I hope all goes well.

However this is november bandits banded last year in November not ones waiting to be banded. Howev we wou.d still.ove to support you in anyway we can! Just thought I'd let You know

Xoxoxoxoxoxo

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Wow, what a year it has been. I have lost a total of 36kg (including pre-surgery Optifast). I now weigh 64kg and wear a size 10 in most cases.

I knew coming into this journey that the emotional side would be the toughest part for me. I've certainly had my ups and downs but I think that I have managed to maintain a positive outlook for most of this journey.

I am a new person because of this band. I'm more confident, I have the ability and willingness to exercise and I'm more social. The people around me respond well to my new attitude and I get asked to join them on all sorts of adventures and occasions.

I do hope that as the month continues and more of you celebrate your bandiversary, that we see a few people drop by. I know that a couple of you have had a horrid experience with the band but that others have had smashing success. I hope to hear how everyone is doing, good or bad.

I do love you all for all the support during the toughest part of this journey. The unknown beginning.

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Hey there. It's been a long time since I posted in this thread. Guess I just got tired of the lack of Nov '11 bandits reporting in and stopped looking.

My weight loss has stalled now, although at this morning's appt I was told I'd lost 0.8kg, so I can't complain. All up I have lost 36.5kg and couldn't be happier. People keep telling me that I don't need to lose any more but I still want to lose another 10kg :blink: . Imagine that? Being told I DON'T need to lose weight :huh:

I am now beginning to rebuild my wardrobe. It got really ridiculous. My son has more clothes than me. :ph34r:. I am now- about a size 14-16 - if that means anything with today's very weird clothing sizes. I should be a 12 - and hopefully will be again - but I would settle for a 14. It's lovely being back in 'normal' sizes. I actually wandered into Autograph yesterday and realised I really didn't need to be there! So I told the saleslady I was just saying 'goodbye' to an old friend ^_^

Oh and on the need to rebuld my wardrobe - one of my fave jokes is the thing about how when women open their wardrobe and complain they have nothing to wear - well I REALLY don't have anything to wear! Very little actually fits! I gave away a couple of jackets the other day. They were so big I could have fitted another person in them with me! :lol: So now I will just have to go clothes shopping. What a shame B)

Like Eviljoy - I want to thank everyone for the support in those early days and weeks. It was invaluable. And I hope you are all succeeding - however slow or fast - in your weight loss journeys.

Cheers

Junior

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Well done Eviljoy and Junior.

I have watched your progress over the last 9 mths and I would like to thank you both for all your support and great advice. You have both achieved your goals and should feel very proud of yourselves. It is a shame that a lot of the bandits you started your journey with no longer visit this site. I feel the same about the January 2012 bandits. Not many of us are still here either. Hopefully both months bandits will drop in and give us all an anniversay update on how they are going. Well done. xx

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Hello. Rest assured I'm still here lurking away. Bandiversary passed afew days ago and as I write this I'm actually waiting about to leave and go to the clinic to possibly have an unfill - first ever and first adjustment since about may I think. Funny how you can be cruising along no problems then realise your eating sliders to avoid pb and having heartburn. Will see what he says but I'm quietly hoping he will unfill as maybe I've been in red zone awhile which may explain my plateau.

Weighed in at 87.1 today, 86.8 yesterday - either or it's a long way from the 114 I was a year ago....

Hope yoUr all doing well

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Hi guys,  I had an appointment today with the surgeon and I was worried that I would have my first un-fill.  I've been suffering a bit from reflux in the past month so the surgeon has requested that I have a barium swallow.  

 

On discussing it with the surgeon, I suspect that the reflux is from stress (and a sudden increase in coffee intake) as I do not have any other symptoms of being in the red zone or having a slippage.  He decided to leave my fill level as it is and make a decision/ adjustment after the swallow.  

 

I have to admit that I was really nervous going into this.  Up until now I have had a dream run with my band and I was terrified that I would start having problems.  I realised that my negative attitude was based on some of the other aspects of my life right now and that I should maintain my positive attitude towards the band.  

 

I haven't exercised in two months and I have been emotionally eating for the past month but I can see that this is part of the grieving process for my mum who passed away mid December.  I am starting to pull myself together already and I have an appointment with my psychologist next week to help me even more.  

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Hi Shelle

 

Sorry to hear about your mum.  Grief is definitely a process.  I've been studying Loss and Grief Counselling and am now doing volunteer counselling with Griefline.  The average person takes about a year to resolve their grief but there is no official time frame. Everyone is different and most people get through it with the support of family and friends.

 

I love your new avatar. You look awesome! 

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Thanks Junior,

 

That photo was taken at a party in early december.  It is probably one of the most recent pictures of me.  It's amazing how I went from running from the camera to being more than happy to pose for a quick pic.

 

I went for an 11km fun run yesterday which was the first bit of exercise that I have done since November.  It was really good for me, because it just showed me that my slump was a natural process of all the other stresses in my life and that I could recover from it.  My eating has calmed down too as I am managing to get my emotions under control.  I am very lucky that I have an amazing partner, wonderful workmates and good friends who are all helping me in their own way to move on.  Some are there for hugs, some for listening and some are a great distraction.

 

I had the barium swallow last week, but I don't see my surgeon again until February.  He did offer me an earlier appointment, but it coincided with my trip to Melbourne so I declined. The swallow itself wasn't too bad.  I expected the liquid to be harder to drink.  It did leave me feeling a little bit woozy, but that passed pretty quickly.  I made sure I took massive amounts of soluble fibre all throughout the next 48 hours and I didn't have any troubles with constipation.  I am still getting a bit of reflux, but it doesn't seem to coincide with my eating.  It usually occurs a couple of hours later.  I have cut out coffee, so I am hoping that will help.  I really do hope that it is just average every day reflux and not a problem with the band.

 

I am really looking forward to my trip, I plan to catch up with a couple of fellow bandits while I am down there.  With luck there will be some awesome pics of that too.  

 

Anyway take care all.  Please stop by and let me know how you are doing.  I see certain faces around the boards so I know that people come back at least occasionally.

 

With love

 

Shelle

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When are you coming to Melb?  Maybe we could organise a Melb bandit catchup to coincide with your visit?

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Hi Junior,

 

I'll be in Melbourne from the 23rd-26th of Jan.  I have a few things planned, but I could probably catch up for coffee on Saturday morning if you wanted to meet.  

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Oops forgot to follow up on my post.  Sorry Shelle.  It would have been nice to have met up but maybe next time?

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I've been back to the surgeon today. The results from my barrium swallow were perfect, no slips or stretches. My reflux has gone now, so it probably was a combination of stress and too much coffee.

I did get a 0.2 mL fill, so I hope that will help with my appetite which was beginning to creep up again. I start boot camp again next Monday, a once a week PT session on Thursday and hopefuly I will get back in the regular habit of rock climbing on Sunday. I really did let the exercise slide when mum was ill and then immediately after she passed away. But it is definitely time to get back into the swing of things.

The good news is I didn't put on any weight during that time. Even though I ate a bucket load of chocolate while in Melbourne. Koko Black will be my demise I am sure. Thankfully I don't think they have those in Brisbane. And if they do, don't tell me.

I hope you are all well.

Selle.

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Ahhh chocolate.  I'm hopeless with that :wacko:

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Ahhh chocolate.  I'm hopeless with that :wacko:

Me too. I went to the Doctors yesterday for a small top up and we were talking about how I can maintain my weight and what my weaknesses are. I said chocolate. He said if I wanted chocolate have it (once a week) but dont have any carbs that night with your evening meal.  Just have the protein and you will continue to lose weight. Now that is a dangerous thing to tell a chocoholic and coming from my Doctor (who has an extremely different approach to weight lose) I was staggered. Anyone who knows Max will know what I am talking about. But what the heck I think I will try it.  I will only buy it once a week though because if it is in the house it is not safe.

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Hi guys,

 

Long time no nothing, but it is okay because I think everyone is just getting on with life.  So good on us.  

 

I had my first un-fill today.  I made it 16 months and 40 kgs with out any problems.  I admit that my last fill was a bad decision and that I was probably bordering on if not actually in the red zone.  I stuck with it for a couple of months and lost the last few kg, but I couldn't put up with it any longer.  My surgeon is away on holiday, but I was lucky enough to get in to see a different surgeon on absolutely no notice.  

 

I look forward to being able to sleep the night through without a little bit of reflux or night coughing and being able to eat properly again.  I could still eat the majority of things, but I did notice that I was relying a little on sliders, although not entirely.

 

Life has straightened itself up since the horrors of the end of last year.  I am healthy and happy and strong and I hope that you all are too.

 

 

Shelle

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Hi guys,

 

Are any of you still out there?

 

I admit that I very rarely come on to the site now, but I still like to check in occasionally.  I had .5ml out in April (my last post) and it was such a relief to not have the reflux and night coughing.  It did mean that I was able to eat a bit more and I put on a couple of kilos.  I wasn't too concerned at first, but after a few months of freedom I went back and had .2ml put back in.  That seems to be my sweet spot.  I can eat with ease, but don't get reflux or night coughs (as long as I wait half an hour after eating before lying down).  I have lost the weight I put on and I have finally, as of yesterday, cracked the 'healthy' BMI range.

 

I hope you are all well and are having some measure of success.

 

Shelle

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