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Fresh Basil

Stage Fright at Christmas Lunch

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Why is it that my band decides not to comply whenever I go out to lunch with the people I work with? I have not disclosed to my colleagues that I have a band and so eating out with them, which happens often is always so awkward! I work with psychologists and social workers who deal with eating disorder adolescents and my colleagues think I should be one of the patient's!

I find that I always order off the menu something that I think I can eat and then when the food comes, of course I eat slow and make sure I chew my food, and then bang sure enough it gets stuck and off I go to chuck it all up and then I sit there with an entire plate of food in front of me, without me even attempting to eat another mouthful. Then I have to deal with the lovely waitress and advise them that it has nothing to do with the food, the food is fabulous, which it always is, if only I could sit and eat just half if it. Now my colleagues are trying to counsel me as if I have an eating disorder! It's like my band knows that they all watch me and scrutinise what I eat and dont eat, that it just has to make me an embarrasment! Please let these silly season dinners and lunches pass without a hitch from now on.

Merry Christmas everyone.

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Hi all,

I always, always drink water before I eat and the only time I have trouble is if I miss the glass of water. We eat out a lot so I understand where you are coming from. If you have a carafe of water delivered to the table you can have a glass before you eat and then sip on some before you meal comes. While it won't stop things if you eat too quickly etc it will help. Sometimes I even take my sipper bottle with me if I think getting water will be an issue.

I hope this helps.

Best wishes and congratulations on the 100% weight loss.

Donna

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I always take a container with me, in fact my friends all laugh about it and ask if I have it when I go out. I tell people I am not a big eater and therefore I'll have the rest that night, or I say my kids always ask me to bring them something home. Most times my kids eat the left overs the next day. Once I have had my fill and put the rest in the container, I don't have the food sitting in front of me to generate further discussion.

Kaz

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my nutritionist explained it the best to me like this...your oesophegus (?) is a muscle and like all muscles in our bodies if we are stressed it will contract ....to a point where nothing will go down, so she advised me to always try and stay relaxed when eatting. Maybe subconciously your body is stressing everytime you eat in front of people who aren't aware of the band. I know I do :)

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Maybe its time to tell and the stress you feel when eating in front of people who dont know will then go away............

I have told everyone and eat out regularly and dont have a problem unless I rush my first couple of mouthfuls or dont chew properly.

As you think your colleagues all think you have n eating disorder maybe it would be best to disclose to them, I am sure they would be all very understanding.

Just my opinion. I hope you have a stress free party season and enjoy :)

Leigh

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Its totally about stressing about the situation of eating in front of those who don't know. My doctor and dietician both prescribe to the fact for whatever reason, especially in females, stress affects the tightness of your band.

Can I suggest what I do now when eating out...... As I was suffering the same issue of eating in public or eating at a restaurant with my family..... Now I only order a drink and hot soup. If soup isn't available I order some sort of salad, barely touch it/ move food around and just drink my low-cal drink :-)

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This has been me this week...having an absolute shocker. Any time I eat with the kids something gets stuck. arghhhh...

Have my inlaws coming for Christmas lunch on Saturday and am nervous about it. I know I can work it so that I'm in and out of the kitchen/house so it won't be obvious but it's still not a good thing. Sharing my band with them woud be worse than getting something stuck!

Need to practice some relaxation, just not sure when to fit it in!!

S

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my problem is that I get too excited when dining out and forget that I have the band. I am only 3 months banded so I know it is still a learning curve for me. I have been on holidays the last 3 weeks and dining out 5 nights a week and every lunch. I have been making some terrible choices but suprisingly I have not gained nor have I lost... Last night we went to a seafood buffet for dinner and I couldn't help myself and after 3 mouthfuls bang - stuck .. I sat there waiting for it to go down and eventually cleared it in the restroom. After a 20 min break I started again - but a lot slower and things worked well.

I head home tomorrow and am looking forward to getting on MY scales to see what damage I have really done, if any at all.

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I have told one and all. Last night was the first time I went out in a social situation and I ordered a prawn cocktail for starter and soup as a main. I ate nearly all the prawns cut it in little bites and dipped it in dressing and half the soup no probs . I was proud of my self lol..

Yesterday I had a protein shake, a weightwatchers bar and the above.....got on the scales this morning and it says I've gained 1/2 kilo? what the ???

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Why not just tell them and spare yourself the stress?! lol

(OK I know it's not always that easy, just my take on it :P I find people are surprisingly supportiv :) )

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I find it difficult to eat out as well, as I havent told many people, and probably wont. So I just try and find meals that I know will go down... soup, risotto, casseroles.

Good luck with it :)

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There was actually something I saw on a TV show once. The show is called Skins and it's on SBS (it's about these drunk, drug taking, partying, crazy teenagers in England)

In the first series there was a character called Cassie with anorexia and in one episode someone asks her how she was able to hide it for so long.

It was actually really interesting how she did it.

She would load up her fork while talking away, go to put it in her mouth but then start talking again so she would discreetly put her fork (with the food still on it) down. She would push the food around on her plate and move it so it looked like she was eating it.

This when on for a little while, by the time she'd finished talking, the person she was eating with had finished their meal so she asked if they were finished, took his plate, dumped it on top of her's (hiding the food she hadn't eaten) then pushed the two plates over to the side of the table.

We're not anorexic by a long shot but the techniques could be applied.

Though if you work with people who deal with these issues everyday - they are probably aware of the techniques too!

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I have told everyone, and agree with alot of people here, that maybe the stress of it all is just making it more difficult for you to eat when relaxed.

I didn't want to tell my in laws, as everyone in the family would know, and I didn't need them to criticise me for what I have done. Well it didn't happen like that, my husband said that maybe if I shared then they would understand... I just pfft him but decided to tell anyway, as I could see that xmas would be a problem as I have loads and well I won't be able to this year. So I told my mother in law (who has never had a weight problem) and she just said "well done!" I was shocked to say the least, I thought I would get a huge lecture..

As for work, well we all work in an office of about 20 women, so I told some, not others, but news travels fast and well they have all been supportive, to the point that I have to draw diagrams for them to know how it all works, even got some looking at it now! So I think with you working with the staff that you do, then I just think that you would get the encouragement you need, I mean after all, its just another tool to help us on our journey!

Good luck and well done with getting to your goal!

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Thanks for all your posts.

My descision to not disclose to anyone other than my immediate family and partner was my descision to keep it private. I am very greatful for all the supportive posts but the posts advising me that maybe I should now come out and tell everyone about the band is actually uncalled for. There are heaps of banded people out on this site who also have made the very private descision to not disclose that they have been banded and we should all respect the wishes of other people.

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Fresh Basil, with all due respect, I disagree. When you post on a forum then people are going to give their opinion. You don't have to like it and you don't have to take up their suggestions but it is definitely NOT uncalled for.

For what it's worth - I'm inclined to agree with them. Telling people is better than having them think you have an eating disorder. In fact the very fact they think you have an eating disorder suggests that they care and don't want to see you ill.

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Oooo...let's not get into a discussion about being open or closed about your band. It is a very personal decision and one I think you can only make for yourself.

My band is my business, only a very small handful of people know, I intend to keep it that way. My reasons for keeping it to myself will be quite different I'm sure from others. To those who have shared their band, good on you!

S

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I agree guys. Just chill out. If you don't want to tell people, fine. If you do and you're comfortable, good for you. No need to get stroppy over personal decisions either way.

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