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scarlet_artemis

its easier for everyone else if I stay the 'fat girl'

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@Healthy Choice: If she thinks its a cop out, get her to do half an hour of googling on the subject - it is not magic weight-loss operation - it is a tool which we can use to change our negative lifestyle habits, which inevitably leads to weight loss.

But if she is one of those people that is just going to kick up a fuss no matter what - i would definantely tell her what lumley said.

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My best friend said the same thing, She was supportive but believes WLS is the easy way out or "a cop out". Seen we aren't doing the work!

After hearing what I eat and the exercise I do and the fact that most of the work is done by me (since April all restriction and choices are made by me as I am without a band) she changed her mind. But I wanted her to see it was an option for her too that she didn't have to be so unhappy, but she isn't ready to loose the weight yet. I just hope she understands that WLS is a life changing tool, and there should be no shame or negativity placed on anyone changing their life for the better!

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It's so sad when people feel the need to bring others down like this. I'm being banded in a month's time and I've decided to only tell my immediate family and two of my closest friends who I know will be kind and supportive. I have one friend who I will not tell at all, because I know she hates it when i lose weight. In the past she has tried to sabotage my weight loss attempts (once, when I was going to 'curves' she told me off for becoming obsessed with it because I went 6 days a week! 30 minutes a day 6 days a week...she thinks that's overkill???) and I know she would not be supportive if I told her I was getting banded. So I've decided it's none of her business and she can deal with it when I start to shrink. She just panics because I'm her token 'fat friend' and she's petrified I'm going to lose all the weight and end up smaller than her.

On the other hand, the people that I decided to tell have been super supportive. I've been asked lots of questions but in genuinely curious way, not a nasty or judgemental way. When I told my sister, she said "wow...you must be so excited!" How beautiful is that? I'm really happy with the people I chose to tell because they've all been great and everyone else can just mind their own business.

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I posted this about a month after I was banded and now 35kg lighter and at the halfway mark (I started at 140kg inititally) - things are vastly different. The family issues regarding my weight loss have settled down, after a few initial shocks of suprise etc, I just quietly got on with it and they've all forgotten about me like they always did :) I had a massive hair cut recently - long black hair gone and now easy style short hair with lots of blonde foils through them. I got a short haircut finally because it doesn't make my head look like a little round pudding on a big round body - I have a neck now. I'm also running 5km 3x a week and feeling like I'm finally getting somewhere with my fitness. I have a can-do attitude now and I'm not ashamed to admit that I weighed much more only 6 months ago. HUsband yelled at me recently for not cooking big meals like I used to - he's a chef and weighs 143kg mind you - I just don't eat that much anymore. I don't need to. And for all the critics out there - if it was easy to simply put the fork down, I would have! Those who have never had a weight problem simply have no idea of what it is like to live in pain, feel powerless, be tired all the time and worry constantly and also hate yourself and the way you look 24/7. And those who are overweight and dont like to see others losing it - feel uptight because it reflects on them and spotlights their behavior when someone close starts to do something to life themselves out of their misery. I say to everyone who has criticized Bandsters - when you see someone trying to something to improve their own shitty lot in life - shut up and get out there and do something for yourself - it shows courage and determination.

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Wow, I haven't had any reaction like this!

I've only told my partner, my best friend who had a sleeve two months ago and my other girlfriend who was supportive. I also told my immediate family, and while they had reservations at first due to hearing bad things about it they are being supportive now and even coming to look after me post op!

I won't tell anyone else as I know my other friends will think its a "cop out". I've told work friends and ladies from my mosque that I'm having my gall bladder removed - not a total lie since I have had it removed and it will be the same incisions etc and watch what you eat afterwards!

To explain the weight loss, I'm just going to say that the liquid diet you have to have with the gall bladder inspired me to keep going and I exercise and eat healthy. As far as I'm concerned that's all anyone needs to know!

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I have decided to keep it quiet too, mainly because I work in a small workplace with a handful of other women, all overweight. I decided that if anyone ever found out and was negative about it, or decided to give me their opinion/advice/horror stories I am going to say "I would never dream of telling you how to manage YOUR weight and health, so why do you think you can do that to me?" As for the 'stories' I have decided I will say "When you have researched this procedure as intensively as I have, and know all the latest stats and guidelines, then yes, I might listen to you. Until then, keep your thoughts to yourself..please"

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Well said poppy, how true. People with opinions dont have the knowledge or experience to be giving advice. Just something they heard about a friend of a friend....

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That is so true I think about how little i knew before I started researching. I'm not ashamed to admit I thought that gastric bybass and gastric banding were the same thing! Up until recently, gastric bypass was the most common form of WLS in the US, so you hear a lot about it on TV and with american celebrities/talk shows etc. I've heard people talk about weight loss surgery and all the bad side effects, but they're actually only talking about bypass...not banding. I'm keeping things to myself because there's a few people who I know would say to me "have you thought about the risks involved?" As if I would go and have life changing, body altering surgery without weighing up all the risks involved.

Once people start noticing my weight loss I'll be more open about it, but I don't want people putting their expeectations on me, or making this journey harder with their ignorance, jealousy and all round negativity.

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I feel so lucky to work and live with people who have been so supportive of me. My biggest reason for loosing weight was health and fertility and being a nurse and a midwife and working with other health professionals, they all understood and thought it was a good idea (even if they didn't believe I was big enought to qualify for the surgery). My biggest hurdle was my mother who had a sister's husband's cousin's friend's sister die from complications of the old 'stomach stappling' proceedure. but once I went through it all with her she turned into one of my biggest supporters. In her case I think it was a matter of being scared for her little girl. Fear can make us do some nasty things to the people we love

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