36 replies to this topic

[Its just me!]

Hi I have been booked in for my surgery and I have made the decision that I do not want to tell people about it.

My husband and my BF know and as far as I am concerned that is all that needs to know. In a few months time I might feel differently about this but for now this is the decision I have made.

Soooooo what have others done in this situation? I have told work I am having an operation and need a couple of weeks of for "girly" reasons however I have a collegue that I am quite close to who will not be satisfied with that answer.

Any help would be appreciated.

Thanks

Mx

[JaimiM]

if you feel that it is someone who will support and encourage you, it may be nice to have someone at work to talk to that will know and help you. If you feel that they may not take it so well or if you are scared that they may not, then atleast the important people that need to know, know. Just do what feels comfortable and if you get any negativity just ignore. Good luck on your new lease on life!

[columbine]

"hernia repair" seems to be the standard call. It isn't a complete lie. the surgeon will fix a hernia if they find one. There are a few girls at my work who have had a "hernia repair" that has helped them loose weight.

[Gato]

Gender reassignment surgery. Code for 'mind your own business'.

[Its just me!]

Thanks I think the Hernia may be the way to go. Just nervous I am not a good liar lol, but too many people will have their opinion and to be honest I want to spend some time getting my head around everything happening before I have to deal with all that jazz etc...

PMSL Gato. Thanks for the laugh, I might just pull that one out if I am pushed for more information.

[jan123]

Go the hernia repair, didn't even know i had a tiny one but he fixed it while he was there

[.Kylie.]

I originally was a secret bander only my close family and partner new but its all gone out the window now. Anyone who asks, questions etc i tell them the truth. I did originally say i had a hernia and i was having it fixed because i had really bad reflux, my work still thinks thats what i had done no one has questioned it!

[Nessa1977]

Only one work colleague knows I'm planning on the surgery as she herself is a bander.

As I only work in an office 2 days a week, I should be able to get away with some things.

My mother, father and sister know I'm wanting surgery and my sister told one of her coworkers and she told him not to tell anyone (they were talking about weight loss etc). I know he won't, otherwise I'll be very upset.

I'm sure work will figure it out eventually.

Oh yeah, I work for my GP's so she knows, but he doesn't LOL.

[Eoralin]

why feel the need to give any explaination about Your body? how about 'mind yr own business'? or stfu?

you dont owe Anyone explainations.

i've started dating recently and going out i eat and i finish when i want. I had noodle soup n only drank the juice.

no explainations no nothing. ...my body my life

[Quietband]

I am also not telling people. As far as I am concerned its a need to know basis and only those who will support me 100% will know.

I have been telling work since December last year that February is my fasting month "Feb Fast" I am on a no alcohol, carb,sugar or fat diet to compensate for the festive season. Everyone has come on board and is supportive of my "fast".

As far as the surgery goes I have a don't ask don't tell policy or I fall back on "abdo surgery" no details a couple of people have assumed a hernia repair as I had one a couple of years ago "who am I to correct them".

Your body your decision.

[Julieanne]

I think everyone is different. I was very proud that I had faced up to my demons and had done something about it. If people want to judge me so be it. I do think it is important that someone at work is aware so if something happens at work like me getting food stuck they understand and can help! Good luck and remember its a descision only you can make!

[dingosrun]

I had to be pretty open about it as I work on a mine site and if something happens they need to know as well as my work mates

[Just Joey]

I still haven't decided how I'm going to approach it yet...(no surgery date as yet)
my hubby and mum know but that is it at the moment. I have let my boss know i will need some time off in the next few months for some 'surgery' - he didn't ask what for and i didn't elaborate. I think i may tell some close friends but not just yet.
I'm sure that once the weight starts to come off I'll get some comments and people asking the usual 'have you lost weight?? what are you doing ??' . Might just wait and see... once my shape does start to change i might have more confidence and feel more comfortable telling people!!

[eviljoy]

Gato, on 03 February 2012 - 05:25 PM, said:

Gender reassignment surgery. Code for 'mind your own business'.

I told my Boss that I was having gender reassignment surgery and that when I came back to work I would "finally be the woman I was always meant to be".

It's a lie, but such an outrageous one that you both know it. It says, in a humorous way, that you do not wish to tell them the truth.

It also depends on the type of person you are and your relationship to the person asking, but you can always go with the straightforward, "I don't feel comfortable discussing my personal health issues with you."

[zheath]

I told people at work I was having stomach surgery and left it at that. Not a lie. I also told my 3 closest friends and family. I wish I'd never told anyone but my Mum. 1 of my firends is totally judgemental and has no idea. She thinks that having a band means the wieght falls off magically and has no idea that you still have to work on it. Regret telling her. One of my other friends blabbed it to all of her friends and family. Her brother came out and asked me about it at New Years. I was mortified.

I know that its not a big deal to some people but it is to me. This journey is hard enough without the stigma attached to having a lapband. I only told people because I didn't think I could get away with not telling them. I was wrong.

[Shorty]

Very few people know about my surgery, I didn't elaborate on what 'it' was at the time.

Last night out to dinner with a couple of the Mums from my Mothers group - they have watched me yo yo for the last five years but certainly not lose this much weight. When they pressed me as to how I've lost it. I was quite honestly able to tell them I was getting the right sort of help and working with a doctor, dietitian, psychologist. Was then able to turn the conversation back to them and their current diets!

S

[hastwodots]

I won't be telling anyone except my immediate family. They already know I am interested. Surgery will be 12 months away.

I won't have an issue with time away at the time of the actual surgery as I am self-employed.

When people notice the weight loss I will probably just tell them that my thyroid medication finally sorted itself out
I do have thyroid issues.... but I'd probably say that even if I didn't.

I don't want to tell anyone because I'm ashamed I can't do it on my own I have several friends who have had 30kg+ losses lately from going to the gym and eating well. I just can't do it and will look like I'm taking 'the easy way out or something'.

I know that's a silly and immature way to feel, but I know if I tell people, I will end up regretting it.

[sheep]

Funnily enough people comment more that I'm world's slowest eater. People have commented on my weight loss but thankfully it's coincided me moving in with my partner. I simply say that the weight loss has come with my new lifestyle and partner who happens to be an excellent cook (true) and exercises a lot with me (also true).

The slow eating is more difficult but I put it down to stomach surgery and don't talk that much about it. I have a history of surgery for my gall bladder, liver and septiseamia from poorly done surgery so to those who have known me long enough it makes sense.

[foodie2012]

Hi everyone,
I don't know what to do...
My immediate family and 3 banded friends know I'm getting the surgery, however I can't bring myself to tell my 4 best friends (2 girls, 2 guys). I do almost everything with them, including meals approx 2-3 times a week, so if anyone is going to notice it is them. My reasoning for not telling is:
1. They have supported me through so many diets in the past, this will be another temporary crazy in their eyes.
2. They are all super healthy and fit, and just don't understand why I can't lose the weight. They will also think surgery is too drastic or a quick fix.
3. I trust them, but know they will tell their significant others and it's the significant others that will blab. I come from a small community and really want to keep this a secret, at least until I can say its successful.

I would love some opinions - to tell, or not to tell?? What would you do?