36 replies to this topic

[LeeBee]

Well I went the whole told everyone on facebook after surgery, cause lets face it they all knew I was fat and unhealthy. A few of my friends are actually banders aswell, and when I told my FB friends a few got in contact with me and told me they had had surgery and had some wonderful advice for me. It made me feel like I wasnt alone and everyone has been VERY supportive. A few friends are now looking into it for themselves. I havent had to encounter any negativity from anyone that I have told, my husbands workmates dont know and we went out for xmas breakup 7 weeks after surgery. Pre ordered 3 course meal, and no one noticed how little I ate or drunk, just complemented me on how I looked healthier. So to each his own, I love the hernia op suggestion for those that dont want to tell. And if you chose not to tell and people comment on what you are or arent eating, just tell them you are given your body a healthy makeover cause you deserves it, which is essentially true. Oh and dont stress when you eat in front of others thats when you WILL have stuck episodes. Big glug of water before food and chew, chew chew and east slowly. Hope this helps

[sharm]

This decision is entirely up to you.

Foodie I have told one friend who is not telling their partner and my husband and that is it.

I don't need anyone's approval and I have all of the encouragement I need here.

So what if I want to eat slow or want to eat less. My friends should not need to time and measure my food eating anyway!

All the best xx

[calleigh]

Hi, only my husband knows and that the way I like it. I told very one I had a hernia repair and that worked because its similar keyhole surgery, they also found one and fixed it while having the lap and , so really not a fib. Told all I decided to change my life after the hernia and saw a nutritionist , again not a fib. The reason I am losing weight was a small fib, told that I was gluten intolerant, this explained when eating in public not eating anything that could be stuck llike bread and noodles etc. I have kept this quite for 18 months now.

[nikki67]

I planned to tell only my immediate family and close supportive friends, but then my husband told his mother and now the whole world knows

[dreamsofskinnyjeans]

I feel like i could be the only person going through this, my family is not supportive, AT ALL. I am having surgery in April and I told a friend (who is not a friend anymore) and she told her father who is a cardiologist who then told my parents i dont need it and it wont work for me.

I finally got the courage to tell my mother today after a mother daughter bonding day and all i can say is there was yelling and alot of tears and yelling. My mother is quite slim and has never really understood the battle i have had with my weight. I told her the only thing i was looking for was her support and understanding. She told me she disagreed with my decision and couldnt support me but accepted that i was an adult (24) and i could make my own decisions.

It is honestly so disheartening to have your own mother say this. She then told me she would come to the hospital with me if she had to which i quickly retaliated with id rather someone who supports my decision comes.

I just dont need this, not from my mother. it is such a big life long decision for me as it is for all of us. I would just love my mothers support.

She honestly believes it wont work and its completely wrong to have a foreign object in your body. All this has done is given me more motivation to make this work to shove it back in her face.

Sorry to vent

[foodie2012]

Thanks everyone for your responses I think I'm going to hold of telling them as long as possible, the excuse is going to be a hernia op and small portions are going to be this new diet im trying where I only eat a cup of food multiple times a day
Let's hope I don't PB in front of them! How would I explain that? Any ideas for excuses/explanations???

Dreamofskinnyjeans that sucks about your family and friends response... What city dO you live in? I know there is regular info sessions in Melbourne and going to one of them is what converted my parents to the idea - they provide realistic yet positive info about the band.

[Anna]

I am so suprised of the lack of support (understanding) that many of you have with your friends and families.
I told some friends and my immediate family - inlaws too and while some of them said "why - your not that big" the majority said good on you go for it.
And I was 'only' 87kgs. 1 daughter poo-pooed it but was happy for me when I looked slim and happy at her recent wedding.

[dreamsofskinnyjeans]

I find its because people are narrow minded. My mother being one of them, she will not see it from anyone elses perspective. She will not even sit down with my surgeon and talk to him about it. Does anyone have any good articles i can show her or something, apparently she saw an ABC article saying it doesnt work and shes sticking with that.

I dont need her to agree with me, i just need the negative comments like "im going to be the one sitting here watching you be depressed when it doesnt work".I dont need that by my worst enemy let alone my mother!

People need to open up their minds to things!!! Grrrrrrrrrr

Silly skinny people!

[Shorty]

dreamsofskinnyjeans, on 15 March 2012 - 07:36 PM, said:

I find its because people are narrow minded. My mother being one of them, she will not see it from anyone elses perspective. She will not even sit down with my surgeon and talk to him about it. Does anyone have any good articles i can show her or something, apparently she saw an ABC article saying it doesnt work and shes sticking with that.

I dont need her to agree with me, i just need the negative comments like "im going to be the one sitting here watching you be depressed when it doesnt work".I dont need that by my worst enemy let alone my mother!

People need to open up their minds to things!!! Grrrrrrrrrr

Silly skinny people!

It is a shame that your Mum isn't supportive but the decision is yours to make. There are some great Sydney Bandits on this site and around. Not sure where you are in Sydney but if you need a friendly face, cup of coffee or a chat I'm sure you will find someone with a band closeby who understands and would be happy to chat!

S

[dreamsofskinnyjeans]

Thanks S.

Yes i am SO lucky to have this forum and its often what I turn to when i want to talk about lapbanding because i can talk with people who understand me! I have an amazingly supportive best friend who is always there for me so i am truly blessed to have her. But i know once i start to go through the processes i will look to this site more often!

[grinningchook]

dreamsofskinnyjeans, on 14 March 2012 - 09:43 PM, said:

I just dont need this, not from my mother. it is such a big life long decision for me as it is for all of us. I would just love my mothers support.

She honestly believes it wont work and its completely wrong to have a foreign object in your body.

Sorry to vent

Lets hope she never needs a pacemaker or artificial hip in her later life ?? **shaking head**

[Gato]

grinningchook, on 15 March 2012 - 11:37 PM, said:

Lets hope she never needs a pacemaker or artificial hip in her later life ?? **shaking head**

Yeah, does she have any fillings in her teeth?

[dreamsofskinnyjeans]

She does actually! (have fillings).
She was reading some ABC artile where a 26year old TAS lady died after complications with her surgery. Basically the surgeon perforated her stomach and the infection spread and she died of multiple organ failure. BUT she was discharged from the hospital over the phone from the doctor who hadnt seen her and she couldnt breath or walk. I dont know why she would leave the hospital, i wouldnt in a situation like that.

I understand her concern that she has read this and im about to have this surgery. But, like any surgery there can be complications.

I just want to have it done and prove to her that it will work for me and show her, thats the only way she will shut up

[Shorty]

Perhaps it is time to find a few articles that show WLS in a positive light. Danielle's New Idea article might be a start? Maybe even take your Mum to an information night at the clinic you are thinking of using. She can hear what they have to say and ask questions too??
S

[grinningchook]

dreamsofskinnyjeans, on 16 March 2012 - 11:34 AM, said:

She does actually! (have fillings).
She was reading some ABC artile where a 26year old TAS lady died after complications with her surgery. Basically the surgeon perforated her stomach and the infection spread and she died of multiple organ failure. BUT she was discharged from the hospital over the phone from the doctor who hadnt seen her and she couldnt breath or walk. I dont know why she would leave the hospital, i wouldnt in a situation like that.

I understand her concern that she has read this and im about to have this surgery. But, like any surgery there can be complications.

I just want to have it done and prove to her that it will work for me and show her, thats the only way she will shut up

Maybe inform her of the risks of being overweight and how many people die of weight related disease, diabetes, stroke, heart etc Then there is the wear and tear on yout body from carrying the weigh maybe leading to hip or knee replacements etc.

[Kiwigirl30]

My mum is the same keeps saying that I am "brave" for having surgery & sees it as unnecessary & I'm taking up hospital time for real sick people. At 170m and 112kg - I need to lose 40kg & having a mother at 60kg - he doesn't get it. Not being able to buy nice clothes & not feel flabby.

[NeddyBear]

I couldn't wait to tell everyone as soon as my surgeon said I was suitable for a band and continue to tell anyone who will listen, I'm a walking billboard for the cure to obesity and type 2 diabetes.
At work I regulary send an email to all staff letting them know of my progress and since having mine 2 others have followed in my steps