19 replies to this topic

[Helen]

I thought that getting my lapband on 1st June, 2011 would finally be the 'cure' to my 30 year off and on battle with bulimia.

8 months out I realise, it's not. There is no cure. Now, when I over eat, there is no way of vomiting the excess food as it
can't get back up past the band. I lost 23kgs in the first 5 months. I have regained 10kg of that to date.


Telling me I self sabotage my band falls on deaf ears.
Telling me to count calories is like telling a meth addict to 'just have a little bit'.
There is no spare money to go and see a counsellor.
Telling me to "follow the golden rules of lapband" is like telling a heroin addict to just not pick up the needle.

[scarlet_artemis]

a band simply slows you down - its harder to binge and impossible to throw up. The bulimia pattern was something I used to do to to deal with stress - and still feel like it sometimes, but I've had to find other ways of coping One day, you'll get to a point where you'll decide enough is enough and you simply don't want to do it anymore-that the food bills, dental bills, hating on yourself, guilt etc are just too much to cope with, and that controlling your food intake is easier to live with than spending your life with your head over a toilet bowl up to five times a day like I did.

[Junior]

Helen, bulimia is considered to be a psychiatric / psychological condition and i would think you would qualify for at least 6 sessions with a psychologist under the Better Access program which is funded by Medicare. You would need to see a GP and he /she would need to do a Mental Health Care plan before referring you but it might be an option worth considering.

[jan123]

Helen

I feel there is a lot that can be done to help your bulimia, but a lap band wouldn't have been one I would have added to the top of the list.

I can not imagine how difficult this must be for you now, but as Junior suggested if you visit you GP that you can get some support. Also what support does your surgeon provide with regards to after care? A 30 year battle with bulimia is a long time and not something that will be quickly corrected. Reach out for help if you feel now is the time you want to turn things around. Visit your GP and talk to your surgeon.

Good luck.

[craigles]

Helen,

Your GP should definitely be able to refer you to a psychologist to talk to.

30 years is a very long time, please don't beat yourself up about it - I've got Depression and Schizophrenia and I know it never helped me to beat myself up (of course I also continue to beat myself up sometimes, so I know it's not easy to just stop a learned behavior).

Be kind to yourself, and go see your GP and just say to them, enough is enough please help me.

I know i'm an emotional eater myself, so it's going to be a big challenge for me once banded to program myself to stop.

If you ever want to chat, feel free to drop me a line

Cheers,
Craig

[toquaykate]

Helen. Such a tough problem. I don't really understand it and I have no answers. I do however hear your pain - loud and clear.
Kate

[Helen]

Thanks everyone, obviously I kept the secret of my struggle with bulimia from my surgeon and lied when asked the question 'have you ever had an eating disorder'. Some people say that if you break one addiction you just replace it with another. What could I replace it with that is acceptable and that would satisfy my addictive personality?

[slowdell]

I can't imagine what you're going through.

I hope you find the help you need xo

[Junior]

Helen, on 18 February 2012 - 05:09 PM, said:

Thanks everyone, obviously I kept the secret of my struggle with bulimia from my surgeon and lied when asked the question 'have you ever had an eating disorder'. Some people say that if you break one addiction you just replace it with another. What could I replace it with that is acceptable and that would satisfy my addictive personality?

That is something that would best be addressed in counselling. I urge you to consider seeing your GP and getting a referral to a psychologist under the Medicare funded system.

[Eoralin]

Some great advice there x

[Stripey23]

Agree with the advice about the GP - then you get access to medicare sessions. I have had some struggles with the band of late and now have zero fill (ahh) and I am, I know, absolutely eating in a dreadful way - not just "sliders" but everything. I also have another medical unrelated problem and as a last ditch effort I am seeing a hypnotherapist and pscyhologist to help with that. Went to the GP to get the referral as my other specialist told me to go get the GP to do so in order to get the Plan which allows for medicare funded services. She was a but sceptical (and so am I but willing to try it).

I have seen psychologists in the past about things (depression, family dramas). This time it will be about a specific thing but I am going to add in to my request at consultation to also address emotional eating and self-sabotage. I feel like this GP Health Plan thing is giving me the freedom to try this out (at either no or low cost) and I will see how that goes.

Gps can be the referral point/set up point for lot of things, sometimes (as I have done) you just have to tell them "I would like to give such and such a go" and they will explore it and set it up for you. Maybe being so busy etc they dont always spot (or we hide the symptoms) the opportunity to give us these options.

I hope you can get on to a plan and some baby steps to deal with this. (In the early days and months many of us without other probs or issues struggled with the lapband too remember)

[dorrie]

Helen, you talk about your addictive personality. That is really putting yourself down.

Don't we all have that? I think anyone who has any food and overweight problems has an addictive personality. So that is all of us.

I suggest you work out a plan, perhaps with the help of some advice from here, try to stick to it. Please think of yourself in terms of trying and then trying again.

Try to change your focus into loving yourself instead of blaming yourself.

dorrie

[Helen]

Thanks everyone. I will keep on trying.

[Penny74]

Hi Helen. I hear your pain... I've been having counselling for similar problems. My counselling has been all about behaviour recognition (called Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and looking at the underlying issues. Counselling won't solve the problem, it will give you tools to help you address the problems. You've already taken the biggest step by admitting there is a problem... counselling will help you analyse what is the reason behind it and when it happens what you can do. Once you can pin down, recognise and accept what's occurring, you can start dealing with the issues and coming up with "alternatives" to bulimia... Perhaps you won't always succeed, (and that's OK too!) but facing the problems head-on will go a long way towards getting you on a better track. Anyway that's my experience. It is a hard road. Banding will be part of the solution, and the other part will be addressing the trigger issues behind your compulsive eating. My psychologist says if I can recognise what the triggers are I can steer clear of them, or come up with "alternatives" to bad eating habits. She says I won't always succeed with my struggle against binge eating, but it has been proven that behaviour recognition therapy can help minimise the damage you cause to yourself. I'm still coming to grips with the fact that there's no "fast cure" to fixing the binging, but at least I'm coming to accept the fact this is a hard road to travel and it's up to me to be in charge as much as I can. I now know what some of the triggers are when it happens, I know to look out for the triggers and know what I can do to get me out of the "rut". I know that it's OK to be in the "rut" sometimes and that it's up to me to recognise when I'm in that rut and get out of it and take control. I know that this will be something I will need to work on for the rest of my life.

Please know you're not the only banded person out there with these sorts of problems. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy may or may not be for you... I don't know your situation but have found that it is helping me realise that there's no "magic cure", I have to work at it myself and avoid certain situations/keep an eye out for behavioural patterns and then make a conscious choice to behave in another way.

You could try doing a search on the internet for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to see if this "treatment" is for you.

[Helen]

Penny thank you for replying what you did. It makes total sense to me what you are saying about triggers. I will do a google search and see if I can do some self counselling.

I have been doing really well since posting this, it's like I get motivated and inspired after reading everyones advice. So hopefully, after using Penny's ideas also, things will go well for a while. The weight has gone down each day for the past four days and I am feeling really positive again.

[Junior]

Helen, please don't just do 'self counselling'. There is no shame in needing help and I think you fall into that category. Penny is right, CBT can be very effective for things like bulimia but you need to go to someone who is trained in it.

[kazbo]

I have been seeing a psychologist who specialises in eating disorders for a few years now. I don't pay a cent because I see her under a mental health care plan set up between myself, my GP and the psychologist.

I recommend you go see your GP and get one of these so you can receive the help and support you need. Your GP will have a list of psychologists in your area that participate on these care plans.

[JosieW]

Dear Helen
I so hear what you are saying. There is nothing worse than someone telling you to follow the rules. I am the most undiciplined person.

Don't be hard on yourself and your struggle. Baby steps. You can do this. Be proud.

I found this past week triggers I never knew were there. I never realized how much I focused on food. Whats for the next meal etc.

I think the key is choice yep we can choose and we have by taking the first step. A hugely important one. I believe the band is there
to remind me I do have a choice..old habits die hard but you know it only takes about 20 days to change a habit if we practice.

My advice is to take each day and remind yourself you are beautiful person loved by so many around you
and that the good food you are eating will make you strong, healthy and happy.
Hugs

[scarlet_artemis]

interesting hearing about triggers - mine was being alone and being bored with nothing to do - if i surrounded myself with people and things to do, I was much better, it certainly lessened the bouts of bulimia

[Eoralin]

My trigger to eat?

Life!

The happiness, the joy, the sadness, the quietness, the sheer joy of food!